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My boyfriend works a lot, and barely has time for me. I tell myself that him working is a good thing. He gets paid good and that it will help in the long run. When we are together everything is still the same. I trust that the time he spends away from me, he is thinking about me and wanting to be with me. I am not a patient person and I know that. I am wondering should I be patient and wait on this "having to make money" stage pass, or should I kick him to the curb and find someone that has time for me?
I'm scared that if I find someone that has time for me, they may not have a great job. I am also scared that my boyfriend may be the one for me and this is the way it should be right now. I don't work, I am still in college. I am thinking that if I worked then it wouldn't be that big of a problem because I would have more to do and wouldn't be worried that I didn't see him today.

2006-11-02 04:07:50 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

25 answers

Okay hun. First thing is first...do u love this guy? Does he love you? Sit down when the 2 of you ARE together and talk this through with him. Ask him where your relationship is going and if you guys still feel the same about each other! It's true....you never know if he's the one...but what if he isn't and you're just holding back. Everything always happens for a reason...good luck on what happens with you...keep me posted id like to know whats gonna happen =)

2006-11-02 04:12:33 · answer #1 · answered by xoxoxo 2 · 0 0

Be more patient and understanding. He's probably trying to do more than make money; he's probably trying to get a foothold in the company so that he gets the better job, the advancements, promotions, benefits, etc... If he's about your age, then he's just starting out at his job. So he not only wants to make a good impression on the management, but it may also be required in the company that entry level workers put in the long hours. It helps to weed out all the people that aren't willing to go the extra effort for the good of the company.

In the meantime, you should find things to keep yourself busy. You shouldn't be dependent on him to have a social life, have fun, or just something to do. In addition to attending classes, studying, and doing whatever homework you have, you need to find outside activities that you can do on your own. Join a soriety, gym, or just some kind of group/club that you can spend time doing what you are interested in. Not only will it help to keep you busy when he's not around, it will also help you to develop a life of your own. You could even get a part time job that will allow you to work around your class schedule. Whatever you do, there are many options out there of hobbies, sports, activities, etc... that will keep you busy, can be fun to do, and give you a sense of self-worth.
You shouldn't be that dependant on another to keep you happy. They will always fail to live up to the standards you set. No one can put their lives on hold just for a relationship without eventually getting upset over it in the long run. Besides, you should have a social life outside of a boyfriend no matter what the situation is.

2006-11-02 04:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0 0

You should be thankful that you have a boyfriend that does work and works hard right now. This means he would be a good provider in the long run. As long as he makes the time to see you and you spend quality time together, I say be patient with him.

2006-11-02 04:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 1 0

In the 20's it is very normal to be in that "setting up" phase of life. You are setting yourself up for whatever comes down the road. this is the point of life where work should be important too you. You need to set yourself up for the rest of your life. It takes hard work to get ahead in life and that is what your boyfriend is doing. Be patient, once you are done with college and have a job you will see what it is like.

2006-11-02 04:12:33 · answer #4 · answered by nice_guyminnesota 2 · 0 0

It is good that he works. This is life, when a person does not have a great deal of time to spend with those who want more of their time. You said college...That tells me you are young, and young women love being the center of attention, especially when it comes from their man. Sweetheart be smart, be thankful for what you have, be greatful you have a good man who works.
Trade him in and you may wind up with a lazy woman beater.
think very, very hard on what your thinking or asking for. Best to you on this one. Sincerely, Jerry

2006-11-02 04:19:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You sound like a person who loves to interact with people. Boyfriends aren't really meant to be the only person you spend time with. Find a few friends and hang out. It'll make the time you guys don't spend together go by faster.

2006-11-02 04:10:33 · answer #6 · answered by Lexy 2 · 1 0

Well, when you DO start working, you'll realize that we are ALL in the "having to make money" stage and I hate to burst your bubble, but it doesn't pass. You guys don't have to be together 24/7. Enjoy a little time alone and just be glad he's a hard worker!

2006-11-02 04:12:04 · answer #7 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 1 0

He is probably working hard for YOUR benefit, so that the two of you can have a good life together.

Be patient! Don't blow a good thing just because you are immature. Stop thinking about "me, me, me" all the time and start thinking about the two of you.

2006-11-02 04:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

This is a very complex question. On the one hand you claim to have feelings for your b/f and on the other you resent him for working too hard. It sounds to me like you like the money he makes but not the time it takes to make it. This is unrealistic. The odds are he is not going to work less hard and therefore you need to decide if you want the money and no b/f or a b/f but less money. Only you can decide.

2006-11-02 04:12:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You said that if you leave him you are afraid that the next one that comes along may not have a great job. Obviously that's important to you, so stick with what you have now. If you notice those with great jobs, really don't have that much free time. Be loving and supportive.

2006-11-02 04:15:34 · answer #10 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0 0

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