Mother in Law from Hell?

Question

My MIL called last night and abused me. When I fought back and told her that if she cant be nice to me there is no reason to call, she told me to put my husband back on. I did and before she could say anything he told her if she couldnt be nice to me then she could f&*^ off. She called back a minute later trying to say that I am telling him not to see her (if you read a previous question, I am tryign to keep the peace!) he told ehr that it wasnt me it was him so she called back again and kicked him out of the will (which i dotn think he cared one way or the other about) but then his brother called saying how she was trying to be sweet to me and how I was pretending that she wasnt as a smear campaign against her to make her look bad! (i dont need to, she does it well enough herself!) but now I am beating myself up about it. This happens so often between me and her, but my husband has never gotten this involved. I feel like its my fault. I am not sure what to do now.

Answer 1

hmmm been there done that. yikes.

Answer 2

Been there done that. It doesn't sound like it's your fault. Try to stay clear of your monster in law. Maybe you can let your answering machine pick up your calls. Be glad that your husband has backed you up. My ex was a ma ma's boy and his mother was a huge bi-ch. You don't need any drama in your life right now sense your pregnant,it's not good for the baby. Good luck

Answer 3

When she calls and starts harassing you and calling you stuff, just zone her out. Then say, very calmly, let me get your son. Pretty soon, as you take on the attitude that it doesn't bother you when she calls like that, she will start loosing her spunk & nastiness. If you love your hubby, do it for him. Just hold on, especially since he stood up for you, but hey, she still his mom. Look I had a friend that her husband's mother was much like your hubby's. She just kept quiet and after some months had gone by and everytime she called, my friend would just listen and then say, excuse me let me get your son for you, she suddenly starting toning down and because she kept quiet, she won her over. Now the old bat treats her, my friend, like the best daughter in-law in the world. The more you fight, the more she'll kick and scream.

Answer 4

It's not your fault. Sometimes as people, we can only take so much before we reach our boiling points and well, your Husband sounds like he reached his. Perhaps by him getting mad at her she may think twice next time before starting an argument. Don't beat yourself up about this, many of us out there (including me) have problems with their Mother-in-Laws. Stay strong and always defend yourself and next time she starts with you simply excuse yourself and leave or hang up. Don't let her get you angry, because you let her win and be the better person. And if this is an ongoing thing, you might want to limit the amount of time you have with her as well. Good Luck, this shall pass!!!=)

Answer 5

you think you have problems? i lived in the same house with my mil and sister in laws for 6 years. 15 people uunder one roof. imagine that. i couldnot even cut her out by banging the phone even, she was always there. well from a survivor my advice will be that firstly you are pregnant. so dont get excited, or your baby will suffer. when ever that crazy lady calls, you be very polite but cold. say hi and turn the phone to his son. have nothing to do with her. and i mean nothing. no talking, no rinning, no visiting. if your hubby wants to visit, let him but you stay away. and let her spread all the rumors she can. now you are pregnant. take care of your child. grow the skin of a rhinisorres. so anything she says, you just brush of. please, for the sake of the child, be calm. after thr child birth, show her the baby but be polite .

Answer 6

When your husband married you...he LEFT his mother...In her eyes NO one will EVER be good enough...Just be glad he backed YOU up!!! My MIL pulled almost the same **** on my husband and I...but he just put the phone done on the counter and yeped her while hugging me...SO...don't feel so bad..She can't get away with the way she treated you!! Your husband is a grown man and KNOWS his mother's tricks! IF he didn't want to get involved..he wouldn't have taken your side to begin with..Ignore her and continue being happy with your husband...

Answer 7

I think you should be thanking your lucky stars.
Your husband is backing you up, as he should be. This woman is nasty and abusive and you shouldnt have to tolerate that. He knows what you have done or said and he knows how his mother is. Im guessing her behavior is no surprise to him. None of this is your fault so dont feel guilty. Im thinking its been a long time coming whether you are in the family or not.

Answer 8

Don't talk to her on the phone anymore...Just talk to her when other people are around. That way you will always have witnesses. It sounds as if she is on of those crazed women that try to compete with her sons wife. What a loser. Oh, and don't feel bad, you can't let her bother you even though that is probably her goal in life.
Good luck!

Answer 9

Your husband must get involved, he needs to draw the line, try to do it in a nice,respectful way, but also stern and bold, and then have little to do with her, but in a nice way, so that it doesnt feel like constant contention

Answer 10

Ignore it. There is no reason why you should be beating yourself up. If you dwell on it, then it will just bring you and everyone around you down. If they want drama, they can stay at their own bussiness and have it around them. If you ignore them, then it will drive them nuts. I am going through a similar thing, but I choose to ignore it. Good luck! :)

Answer 11

Both of you ignore her for some time. When things have cooled off try talking with her rationally without getting angry. I know thats tough but if you don't want to break off, thats the only way.