What do you guys think of these lyrics I wrote?

Question

In This Room

In a crowded room
I stand alone like a broom
Watching you float by, like a helpless balloon

You talk to your male friends
I sit here silently and pretend
That I'm the only one for you, the only one in this room

Look at Me
I'm the One
Turn around baby
And Lets Get This Done
Its so Hard to Talk to You
When you don't even know my name

I finally see you standing alone
But your'e on your goddamn cell phone
You should be the one talking to me

I get your attention
But please let me mention
How you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen

Answer 1

smooth.

Answer 2

I like the song the only thing wrong is the first three lines ..look like a broom .... balloon find some other objects to compare with i stand alone like an empty tomb?

Answer 3

that is really sweet and also that was purely cute with " watching u float by, like a helpless balloon". I think the girl u sing this too will find it charming and cute, and also very sweet. I melt when I read this song and laugh(srry).

Answer 4

appears like some lyrics I wrote to a guy I enjoyed earlier. My suggestion is to no longer deliver or sing them to him. stop hating the "dwarf small cat" and recover from him. intense college passes via rapidly.

Answer 5

you should ummmm write more and by the way i like it but like i said write more to that lyrecs

Answer 6

it is OK, but you can do better then that you have more talent then you are deplicting in that song. dont give up you are on your way!

Answer 7

pretty cool dude

Answer 8

cute..If I were the girl that was for, I'd be psyched!

Answer 9

good luck with that.

Answer 10

not very good