Ok, I have been dating a girl coming on 2 years. One contention I have is she still communicates with her old beau who has moved away. I have always sensed that she still has feeling for the guy, and I"m sure that if he were still around, they would be together even though she has stated that she didn't love him. We have been together, she says that she now knows what true love is and that she could never be with him again. She told me a while back that she would stop. I find I can be very perceptive and I don't believe her. I even moved 200 miles to the same town because I felt we had a future. Here comes the hard part, I installed a keylogger on her computer and guess what. She is still talking with him and talking about old time and how much they love each other and how good there sex life was. Are there major trust issues, yes. I do not trust her. My problem is that knowing what I know is a problem since I found out in a decieving way. How do I handle this and yes, we are over.
2006-11-02 03:13:27 · 18 answers · asked by Chris A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
habits are hard to break, if your unhappy move on be happy find someone to make you happy
2006-11-02 03:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by Juleette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your recent break up. The only way to handle it in a realistic way....is have time take its place. Meaning you have to wait it out. It seemed that you had trust issues with her. Trust is very hard to do, but...what you also can do is learn from this. Really...if you have to put a key logger on her computer...that should have told you right there that you didn't trust her. Obviously your instincts were trying to tell you something. Always listen to your instincts. Of course love makes us do some things that we shouldn't. The endorphins that we produce can take over our bodies to do things we shouldn't. The best thing for now is just keep yourself busy..go to the gym on the regular, maybe even move back if you can, hang out with your friends. Unfortunately it takes time. Try to recognize the fact that you can learn from this and deal with your trust issues. Good luck.
2006-11-02 03:43:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally you seem like a good guy and I can't say that I blame you for wanting to know what's going on with her and the ex. Especially knowing what you know now. And since you've said that it's over between the two of you why bring it up? It would be an argument you could avoid and it would keep you from getting even more spun up. This may not be right but I wouldn't feel bad for checking up on her. She was messing around when she told you otherwise. I say cut your losses and move on.
2006-11-02 03:22:42 · answer #3 · answered by Angela G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know what makes you truly content & happy. You finding out this information the way that you have should put up some warning signs. It seems that you are a person who feels trust is an important part of relationships. Ponder this-How many people have seen these signs and have still married/stayed with and gotten divorced or hurt because they were willing to settle for less?
2006-11-02 03:18:26 · answer #4 · answered by mackdingy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright hun...time for you to move on..let her go..she seems like she is still in love with her EX and if she had it her way tehy would still be together..and it looks like she will go out of her way to be with him..i know that 2 years is a long time and u love her very much BUT if you can't trust her then there is nothing..u's will always be fighting and everyting neither of you need that..there are many different reasons on why she's going there it could be casue she is scared of a serious relationship with you and just wanted to get out...maybe you were a rebound relationship...and we all know they don't work out very well...my advice to you would be just let it go..move on...go out and get your self a hottie..weather it be a relationship or just a night of fun with her..and don't tell her how you found out..but if you want to go for it..she's going to be VERY UPSET with you cuase of the way that you did find out..but it also shows her that you are tryign to be honest with her even thou she isn't being honest with you..
FORGET HER...MOVE ON...
2006-11-02 03:22:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not OK.. I get contacted by my EXes all the time. Even the married mothers. They want to "have lunch" and I tell them to GET LOST and go be a mother and a wife - and stop contacting your ex boyfriends. BED. MADE. LIE. Naturally this makes them furious because they think they can just do whatever they want inspit of their vows. If she is not focussed on her FAMILY she is doing a substandard job and this is ALL the confirmation I need to know that marrying them would have been a HUGE mistake. Better him than me.
2016-05-23 16:59:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's face it she's wanting her cake & icing too, she has you every night she knows this, she need to put the past in the past & start freash with you, their must have been a reason for them to break up inthe first place, I believe you was nothing but the rebound guy & you fell really hard really fast for this girl. So my advice to you is walk away from her & find someone who can be compelety faithful & honest with you. Find yourself someone who desreves your trust & every else you can offer them.
2006-11-02 03:24:51 · answer #7 · answered by mssassy0104 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is still communicating with him,that's no problem.The problem is,what the hell are they talking about?(love,sex?).And you don' trust her?Good!Don't trust her!But what are your plans?Spying her 24 hours a day?You said,"WE HAD A FUTURE"?What the hell are you saying?Your girl is talking to another man about their sex life,she's lying to you,you're not trusting her.....should I go on?No,I think I better stop here...and you too
2006-11-02 03:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by amie_esprit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohh wow did you ever think that she found out how you were attemptining to invade her privacy and she had all those conversations with her ex cause she wanted you to find it to teach you a lesson.??Maybe she already knows that its over between you two cause she found out what you did. Maybe she is just waiting for the right moment to tell you that its over cause you violated her trust.
2006-11-02 03:20:55 · answer #9 · answered by Chillypepers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say tell her that you know that she still talks to him, and that you know the kind of conversation they have. Do not tell her how you found out. This will keep her wondering the rest of her life. Kind of like a small revenge for her being such a B*TCH.
2006-11-02 03:20:26 · answer #10 · answered by jasonheavilin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if you are over already, and you are completly unwilling to reconcile with her (that's how i would be too)... then i would quote back one of the recient conversations to her... tell her that you knew something was going on, she lied to you when she said she had stopped talking to him, and that since love is based on trust, and you can't trust her, you're leaving...
that's what i'd do...
2006-11-02 03:16:51 · answer #11 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋