Would it be bad for me to move on so quickly with someone new after my husband was killed in a bad accident. HE died July 14 06 and now I am seeing someone is that ok... ?
2006-11-02 03:12:08 · 33 answers · asked by Karen H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sure the best thing to do is move on keep going with life
you didn't die so why should act dead ?
life keep going on and so should you Ô¿Ô
2006-11-02 03:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by 32606 3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every person grieves in their own way, no one can say the appropriate length of time for you to grieve. I am sure that you will always have a special place in your heart for your husband, as well as I am sure that he would not want you to put your life on hold or wallow in sadness. Some people are stronger and heal faster. It could have been that you allowed yourself to feel intensely and in doing so you were able to deal with his death and move on. Some people suppress their feelings, some people deny how they feel so in turn it takes them longer to deal with their pain. Don't feel guilty,it was sad and horrible what happened to you but life is short and if feel secure enough to move on then don't dwell on that. As long as the new person you are seeing realizes that this still somewhat new and maybe occassionally you could be more emotional or melancholy for some unexplained reason. Grief sometimes has a funny way of sneaking back up on you. Such as anniversaries, holidays, special occassions, it would be normal to miss and feel sadness during these times. Take Care.
2006-11-02 03:26:02 · answer #2 · answered by lizzy tee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is fine. Everyone grieves in a different way and it takes everyone different amounts of times to get a grip and be ready to move on b/c of guilt and whatever else. I say you gotta think about what he would've wanted for you (if he loved you, it would be for you to move on and love you the way he would if he was here) and go for it. Forget what anyone else says because people are always so quick to judge when they should try and take care of their own problems. Good luck and don't feel bad!
2006-11-02 05:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by jazzyrose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks bad if his family sees this because then they think you really didn't mourn and just moved on. I do believe its too soon but it all depends on the person. I'm pretty sure there was a mourning period, a point where you didn't know what you were going to do without him, and you just cryed. It's actually a healthy sign for yourself. But as long as you keep a secret from his family, you'll be fine. That special bond you have with them will be destroyed if otherwise.
2006-11-02 03:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what if it was the other way around??? what if u died july 14th 06 and 3 mnths later your husband found someone new??? i know ppl say its alright but i think u need time to grieve and get over it...otherwise i feel u will sooner or later start comparing the new guy to your husband...since u never really got over your husband
2006-11-02 03:26:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily, but I can only think of 2 possible reasons why you would be dating someone this early:
1. You didn't love your husband
2. You are still bruised, confused, and in shock
I suggest you go to church and attend some sort of grief counselling. New bf will understand that you need some time to get over your grief, if any. Good Luck
2006-11-02 03:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by snvffy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you've had time to grieve for your husband and get over the terrible shock. It's your life, but I think you might be looking for the security of another person being there for you. The grieving process can take years in some cases. Just be sure about what's best for yourself. Good luck
2006-11-02 03:17:33 · answer #7 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should allow proper grief time and reflection if you were deeply hurt. But if you didnt feel strongly for your husband then it would be ok. Try meditation to gauge how you really feel. If you havent fully gotten over it or are having doubts about moving on then you shouldnt for a little bit. But then again, some people move on really fast.
2006-11-02 03:14:55 · answer #8 · answered by Rae 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all handle grief in our own ways...you're seeing someone..but you aren't marrying the person today...you're dealing with this the best way you think...you may find out after that You really aren't ready to be with ANYONE but that will come with the different stages of grief...Unless you didn't really love your husband as much ~ I know there are times...I love my husband..but I'm NOT IN LOVE with him...Just take everything one day at a time...
2006-11-02 03:56:56 · answer #9 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you are ready and I'm sure your husband would have wanted to to get on with your life. Don't be concerned about those who thrive on criticizing others, ignore them and they will move to their next victim. Only if you are having a problem with it is it a problem. Your concern probably should be that you may be moving to fast and not be with the right man.
2006-11-02 03:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not bad. You move ahead with your life. I'm sure your husband would want you to be happy. My husband's dad died 22 years ago, and his mother still hasn't gotten over it. He dealt with a lot of bitterness growing up because of it. It made his childhood very difficult.
2006-11-02 13:41:19 · answer #11 · answered by Shayna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋