my bf and i have been together for about two months. i have a son from a previous relationship. my son's dad is a deadbeat. he never sees him and never asks how he is. my son is only 13 months old. my bf now is very involved with my son and really loves him. he is 31 and has no children of his own so i think his clock is ticking if you know what i mean. he treats my son like he is his own and wants to be very involved with him. my son is at an age where i have a few concerns. first off he does not know his real father but his real father is very possesive of him. my son has begun to call my bf dada. i try to correct it but hecontinues to do it. my bf does not seem to mind. but i don't want my son to call him dada if his real father is around because i know the s h i t will hit the fan. also i don't want him to get really attached to my bf. i love my bf and i have alot of faith in our relationship but even the best relationships go bad and i don't want my son to be caught up in it.
2006-11-02 02:52:25 · 8 answers · asked by 1 Hott Mami 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i also cannot help but think my bf wants to have a child with me. right now i have my son and it's like we share him but i don't want another especailly with a guy i have only known for a few months. he hasn't asked but he gets all excited aorund babies and when i talk about being pregnant and newborns and even so much as hint i may someday have his child he gets a gleam in his eye. i am on birth control and he recently suggested we not use condoms, just the pill. is this raising a red flag with anyone?
2006-11-02 02:55:24 · update #1
My son was three months old when my husband and I got together so my husband is the only dad that he knows my son is five now he has always called him dad since he could talk and my husband does not treat him any differentfrom our son we have together .If it lasts with your boyfriend and there is A good chance that it will then let him call him daddy if it bothers your ex then tell him to step up to the plate and be A dad and whats wrong with having two dads . I also say any one can become A father but it takes some one very special to be A DADDY!!
2006-11-02 03:23:36 · answer #1 · answered by SAHM and proud of it 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have any concerns about the boyfriends involvement with your son. You should think about where this relationship is going. For that matter address your concerns to your boyfriend and be frank about how you feel about your son and about having other kids. It sounds like your relationship is just starting so don't do anything that is uncomfortable for you and not in your best interest or the interest of your son. Boyfriends come and go but the guilt of your actions can last a life time. Their is no reason to beat yourself up over the Dada word. You and your son are the most important factors in this equation. If he is a good guy he will understand where you are coming from. If you are happy with one kid for now let him know and continue to use your current method of protection. It is all based on what you are comfortable with not what he is comfortable with, it is your body and life.
2006-11-02 11:12:20 · answer #2 · answered by Nina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused. First you say his dad never sees him and then you say he is possessive?
In my opinion, your introduced your BF to your son way too early. You should not have done this unless you were in a serious relationship. A serious relationship does not happen after 2 months. Why is this new BF around your son so much? Where did he get the idea of calling him daddy? I would start to limit how much they are exposed to eachother until your relationship goes a lot farther then it is now.
I would also suggest slowing down your relationship with your BF, it sounds like you went into this relationship full speed ahead and it just does not sound healthy.
2006-11-02 11:02:30 · answer #3 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your diatribe is so full of contradictions, it is easy to see you don't have a clue.
1. If bf#1 is a deadbeat who never sees his son, how is it possible to also be possessive, and why would you care what he thinks???
2. If you don't want bf #2 to be called dada, then tell him to get a new address.
3. If you have such faith in your 2-month relationship, get married and end the drama.
2006-11-02 11:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by snvffy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your bf sounds like a great guy, and it's wonderful that he is interested in helping you with your son.
For me personally, I wouldn't want to discuss having a child with someone I'd been dating for 2 months, no matter how wonderful he was. Also, to stop using condoms I would require him to have a STD screening - it only takes one time and many people infected don't know that they are. If you ended up infected with something preventable, how would that affect how you care for your son?
I'd start considering having a child after a couple of years rather than a couple of months. Kids are such a huge responsibility and they are so expensive! Best of luck to you
2006-11-02 11:05:08 · answer #5 · answered by always_cookin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be very cautious when choosing a mate for yourself. You went wrong once already...you don't want to make the same mistake twice. You need to find out what the involvement of your ex is going to be in your childs life. If he decides he wants to be a dad and take part in the responsibilities of raising a child...then you have no choice but to let him. On the other hand, if he decides against it.....you have to make a the decision on whos going to take the place of his dad. I'd give it a few more months before you give this title to your current b/f. Make sure it's what he really wants because you don't want 2 men walking out on your sons life. Good Luck!
2006-11-02 11:14:49 · answer #6 · answered by It's a secret 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son is too young to understand anything. But explain to your boyfriend that you would rather your son call him by his name; (Tony, John, or whatever his name is). If he is a good guy he will understand and his patience may pay off so that one day your son can call him dada!!
If he loves you he won't want the **** to hit the fan with your ex, so he'll work to make that not happen.
Good luck
2006-11-02 10:56:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused, first you say your baby's real father 'never sees him and never asks how he is'.... then you say he's 'very possessive of him' and you think he'll flip if your baby calls your bf dada around him. How can that be a problem if his real father is never around him and never sees him?
2006-11-02 11:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by Cookie On My Mind 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋