How should i bring it up that it upset me?

Question

First off I realize that this isn't a major problem just trying to find a good way to bring up that this upset me.

Anyways this past weekend was my birthday and my boyfriend told me a while back he was going to get me a gift, which he didn't, and then on my birthday was going to take me to dinner but we changed plans. On sunday when i brought it up he said he didn't have the money. I've been trying to not get upset about this because he was laid off from his job semi-recently.

Last night he and I went out and he spent 125 on a new game/console that he's been wanting, and the asked me to buy him food!

Maybe i'm being petty but this bothers me.
What's a good way to bring it up to him?

oh yeah we're both in our early 20's, and because he's been laid off i've been helping him out a lot financially with food and gas, and yes he has bought other things for himself since the lay off.

Answer 1

He is unemployed and buying games? You are helping out financially while he is unemployed and buying games? You are about to learn a life lesson through experience and nothing anyone tell you is going to change you actions at this point. Learn from it once reality comes crashing down.

Answer 2

Shut down the bank, honey. You are not his ATM, his mother, nor is he your financial responsibility. If he's got the $$ to blow on everything he wants, let him put gas in his tank using his own money. The whole thing about blowing off your birthday really sucks. Why do you want to hang on to someone who is basically just using you for the money at this point? You're not being petty, but you also are not listening to the warning signals or seeing the red flags here. He sounds spoiled & more than a bit immature. I suggest you talk with him about his financial plans; how long, realistically, can he stay unemployed? forever, if you keep paying his way. That's not what you need or want at this point in your life. If he can't come up with some concrete plans, let him go. It's not fair to you. Your best bet is to tell him what you need & what your expectations are. Good luck.

Answer 3

First of all, you shouldn't be supporting him if you two are just dating unless you really know that you will be together for a long time. Secondly, yes! You should tell him that it bothers you a lot when he didn't do anything for your birthday or get you anything either. Next time he wants to go out and buy something for himself, tell him that you didn't think that he had any money. If he says that he has a little, then tell him that you were hurt that he didn't get you a birthday present. If he keeps coming up with an excuse, then maybe consider not putting a lot of your money up to support him. He may need to learn how to treat you right the hard way.

Answer 4

I wouldn't be happy with that either. First, you tried to be understanding about the no gift for your birthday thing, which was very kind of you. Many girls would of complained that he could of borrowed the money and he should of taken the birthday more seriously- but you were understanding, congrats.. But then he has the money to buy a game console, it puts the thought in my mind... Who is more important, some game, or your girlfriend?? I do not think you are being petty, he could of at least bought you flowers or something like that, the fact that he got you nothing then days later turned around and bought a selfish gift- its irritating!! But, I would ask him how he had the money for the console, but no money at all for your birthday- no even for a small box of candy....??
What are his priorities?

Answer 5

SO when you say "he and I" you really mean "you"? Is he even looking for another job? And the things he has bought since the lay off, how was he able to afford them?

Look you're not being petty, and you do not have to support a 20 yr. old adult. Sit him and down (turn off the PS2 you just bought him) and tell him this....."I feel I'm being used by you. I love you, but I'm your girlfriend, not your mom. You are not my child. We are a team, but right now I don't feel that way. I don't mind helping you out, and I don't mind buying things. But, when we $125 + on a console system when we couldn't even go to dinner on my birthday, then there is a small problem. I can help you get some applications for a job. But when it comes to my birthday, you owe me one." Then for his birthday buy 2 TV dinners and a video game YOU want and tell him you're to tired to go out to eat. Sometimes males learn from the small things in life. Wait lemme rephrase that. Males ONLY learn from the small things in life.

Answer 6

It sounds to me that he is a leach and you have become his enabler. My suggestion to you is to dump this guy and even though you do not think it is a major problem, I would have to disagree with you on that. He does not have the money to recognize your birthday or take you out to eat, but can spend money on games and stuff he wants? You need to cut that supply line to him real quick and not let him make you feel sorry for him. He is a leach and a parasite that does not care for the host and will just suck you dry until you stop providing and then he will head off for his next sugar momma. You deserve better and this is not the guy. He got laid off semi-recently? What does that mean? He has been out of work for a while? Why should he go get a job, you pick up the slack and let him enjoy his toys too...

Answer 7

My b/f is kinda the same way. Priorities are not in the right place.
Just tell him that you have something on your mind. And explain your point of view on the situation. I know this does not bother you because you didnt get the material thing you were expecting.

Just tell him that you know that he has been laid off and that presents do not matter. Explain that you have been doing your best to help him out financially and he is not putting money to good use lately. Instead of buying the console, he could have put that towards bills. Explain that you know always putting everylast dime into bills is boring, but priorities are choices and he needs to set them better.

My bf just bought a 700$ remote control truck,...... all this while I am paying for our new truck, the renos, etc.... he pays the mortgage.

Just sit down and have a serious talk with him. Not aggressively.. Just explain that you have to get something off your chest and that you guys need to communicate a little in order for things to continue going smoothly.

Answer 8

He sounds shallow and self-centered. He's using you. You shouldn't have to bring it up to him; a decent bf/gf would have delayed buying the console and got a birthday present instead. It's not like a decent gift would cost a lot; you can even get roses at discount stores for 10$ a dozen.
If you stay with him, you will become his mommy, not his lover.

Answer 9

That would be hurtful! Let me guess..he spends a lot of time playing games??? Is he even looking for another job? I take it that you are co-habitating? I think that there would be a lot more problems in that case. He should have used that money to get you something,,even a little thing would have been nice of him! I think you should really get that thinkin cap on my dear. Good Luck!

Answer 10

well just straight up telll him how you feel. Tell him ecactaly the way that you said it here! Its not to petty, because it does hurt when you have plans and expect to do things, specially with your loved one! But if he gets mad, dont worry about it, he shouldnt have made plans to do things then back down..plus you got it off your chest, and that always help any person feel better..Good Luck!