How do you start dating again when you have come out of a long term relationship?
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 yrs and he cheated...we split for a year and got back together and suprise suprise he cheated again and told me he doesn't love me in 'that way' anymore - which was really hurtful.....
We have since split again and he has moved out...i don;t want him back but it's hard to start meeting people again.....
How do other people do it cos you always seem to compare things to your last boyfriend....
Please help...all comments are helpful...x :-(
2006-11-02 02:34:02 · 16 answers · asked by ♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give me your phone number. There is not comparison to me.
2006-11-02 02:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to put yourself in situations where you can meet the right person for you - and that can take bravery!
Decide on the type of person you want to be with (be it a sporty type, a shy sensitive type, lad, etc.) and try and go to places they are also likely to go (and the chances are if they are the right person for you then you'll enjoy being there too).
Go out with single girlfriends too - just try and relax and have fun.
For example you could join a tennis club, rowing club, dance class, try speed dating, internet dating, join a book club, church, etc. etc.).
The secondary advantage is that you'll be enjoying yourself, learning new skills, broadening your horizons and keeping too busy to obsess about your ex!
It is natural to compare people with your ex though - especially if you're still hurt. No partner is completely perfect - someone new may not measure up to your ex in some ways but will almost certainly be better in other ways.
Make sure you're comfortable with yourself and who you are; decide what and who you want; take the time to let yourself come to terms with your past relationship, then you'll be more than ready to get back in the "game"!
Good luck!
2006-11-02 02:53:03 · answer #2 · answered by Fatherfigure 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a woman so it should be easier. Just start going to the Clubs again and stop shooting down the men who approach you. I'm not saying start sleeping around, just be a little less mean in your rejections. So when a man ask you to dance, a simple No, thank you will do, instead of the I wouldn't dance with you if you was the last man on Earth answer a lot of women give men they think are unworthy.
2006-11-02 02:41:22 · answer #3 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me a couple of months ago, I split up with my ex because she said I was cheating, (I wasn't, but I didn't want to go through months of her paranoia) since then, you wait a while and then try again, its hard, but it works, use your hunting techniques and you'll succeed again! I'm still looking, but I know I'll get someone eventually, it all boils down to patience and timing! Remember, the hunter always picks the hunting ground!
2006-11-02 03:18:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go out and have fun with your friends and see what happens. Alot of people you will meet will be good for a laugh but nothing more. You need to get over your ex before you move on
2006-11-02 02:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found the best way to get over someone is to find someone new. That said, of course you probably need time to coast along and begin feeling normal again. Best things I can suggest are these:
1. Go to church
2. Sign up for group dance classes
Nowadays, many churches have groups just for singles and they plan suitable activities. Dance classes always have additional get-togethers and special occasions. Good Luck
2006-11-02 02:39:50 · answer #6 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are the one making it hard for yourself to get into a relationship agian coz u are afraid of getting hurt again. just take time off your habit of shooting down men when you are approached nad comparing them to your ex and all will be well you will see that everuthing will floww as it is suppoesed to flow
hope this works for you bye
2006-11-02 02:50:46 · answer #7 · answered by zinja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time to get over this first, then start hanging out with friends, going to coffee shops, maybe join a club. It'll take time but you'll get there.
2006-11-02 02:55:08 · answer #8 · answered by F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, never date someone that long without getting married..
You have wasted 8 yrs. and are left with nothing...
Secondly, it is easy for women to flirt with men..
Just be careful about your next choice..
Don't make your decision based on superficial looks & charisma.
Look behind the man...Maturity, character, credit check, Family,
education, job, money, stability, previous g/f marriage history...
Can he care for you in the manner you wish to be cared for ?
You may need to consider older men...
2006-11-02 02:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you didn't stay a housewife long did you...don't tell me...you're perfect and it was all his fault. P'ah men...oh I wish we were all as perfect as you ladies! At least it gives you something to ***** to your mates about how bad he was eh...
Good luck in finding a new partner, maybe you ought to try an on-line dating agency perhaps?
2006-11-02 02:56:46 · answer #10 · answered by Pete Sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess you dont compare, its just you remember, of course its been 8 years its like he is in your system! the best way to start a relationship is to start when there is someone you really like. start now.
2006-11-02 02:41:24 · answer #11 · answered by blue violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋