I have been dating this man for 9 yrs now. When we met I was still married(seperated) I have been divorced for 4 yrs now.Since then he has been sent to Iraq three times.Each time was for one year. Now that he is back I am ready to get married. He says he is too but does not show it. He asked me to marry him in June and I got a ring. But when I bring up marriage it always turns into a big fight. He feels as if I am rushng him. I think I have been very patient .He means every thing to me and my kids. He does very well with my two kids (from previous marriage) and helps me with anything I ask (money or fixing something around the house) In July I told him that I was not going to be his girlfriend in 2007 either we get married before then or we will go our seperate ways. Now here we are in Nov and still dont have a date set. We agreed that the justice of the peace and a reception would be fine. But I still dont have a date and every time I ask he gets pissed. Should I continue to wait?
2006-11-02 02:11:07 · 15 answers · asked by Grown Lady 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I really understand how you feel and yes you have been very patient. I have that same problem, but it's been 5 yrs. I don't seem to understand men sometimes, they say they want something but never make the move to get it. Try one more time having a heart to heart talk with him, and let him know that you are not trying to pressure him, but he isn't giving you nothing to really hold onto for you'll future. I mean there is no difference so what's the excuse, I mean you all are committed and been together this long, the only thing that will change is your last name. So why can't he just give you that you deserve it. Men use the excuse of not being ready, but i don;t see why they say that, Nothing is changing but your last name. If you all live together and he is faithful and committed to you and only you then it's just like being married. But if you feel there is no hope and you don;t want to stick around any longer being a girlfriend follow your heart!!
2006-11-02 02:20:45 · answer #1 · answered by Kiwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This answer is directed to SAILOR MOON, the person who responded to this post just recently. Exactly what kind of a being are you? I did not even read your whole comment, but the first few lines were enough: "What exactly were u doing that led up to him slapping u? Did u continue to follow him around while he was trying to get away from u? If so, it's ur own fault." You are a disrespectful person and YOU need help. It is never YOUR fault when somebody- a stranger or a family member, does not matter; treats you disrespectfully. Even if you harass someone on purpose it is their duty as good and sane beings to give you the better treatment. I ask you: When a girl gets raped because she was too drunk, is it her own fault? Did she deserve to be raped? When a woman is murdered by her husband because she cheated and got caught, did she deserve to lose her life? I'd like to see you get slapped across the face you f.cking troll. Go get a ******* life and save your stupid "answers" to yourself.
2016-05-23 16:43:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick with your ultimatum. If you two don't get married by midnight December 31st, I guess you are free to find someone that WILL truly commit to you. If you don't, you are not only keeping your word but showing weakness and giving him more power than you already have given him by staying with him unmarried, which is your desire, for 9 years already. And as a side note, if you get married before January 1st, you get to file as married on your taxes for the entire year 2006 unless they've changed the laws, which could be beneficial.
2006-11-02 02:26:25 · answer #3 · answered by OOO! I know! I know! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys just don't want to get married. It scares them for some reason. At least he took the step to ask, but if he's not setting a date, that is a big sign. I would stick to my guns and follow through on going your separate ways if he doesn't commit.
2006-11-02 02:13:34 · answer #4 · answered by apriljm76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a veru serious question lady as u told that u dated him 9 years its long time and i know that its impossible for u to get seprate from him becaz he beacme ur habit and as u told that he is very kind with ur children so in my opinion u should wait for him and make him to agree for marraige .and if he dont agree for marraige then i hav a solution leave him just for a month or just for some days dont talk to him n dont meet him,if he is sincere to u i m sure that he will come to u for marraige.my prayers r with u mam bye
2006-11-02 02:22:19 · answer #5 · answered by SUNNY_SUNNY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all you are interested in is marriage, then maybe you should apologise to him and leave... It is very selfish and self-centred to be obscessed by that alone... You obviously don't love him for him alone, but as a potential husband... What is wrong with continuing the relationship as it is???
2006-11-02 02:14:52 · answer #6 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously not ready to get married, and who knows if he ever will be. So it's totally up to you. If marriage is important to you, then you need to move on, and hopefully you'll find someone who wants it too.
2006-11-02 02:13:50 · answer #7 · answered by Mary C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he still isnt ready he isnt worth it.He may never be ready.If you r going to wait i would only gve it another year.If there is still no wedding then he will never ask you to get married.
2006-11-02 02:14:52 · answer #8 · answered by Becky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope Don't wait.. Set a Date and if he gets pissed, then leave..
2006-11-02 02:14:12 · answer #9 · answered by Clints_wench 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why buy the cow if he getting the milk for free. he comfortable with his situation. you want to marry, then give him an ultimatum and stick to it
2006-11-02 02:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋