What tips can you give me whenever I feel lonely when I see couples together?

Question

actually I'm after practical tips ( aside from looking away or ignoring them) or any words of wisdom or biblical truths for instance. thanks!

Answer 1

This is a tough thing to deal with, and I think most people at some point have felt this way.

One of the saddest days of the year is Valentine's Day. When I was working in a large office of mostly women, the pain was palpable, as flowers arrived for some, but not for others. :(

Here's my advice, with a bit of humor: look at it this way -- relationships can be comforting and you feel like you're "normal" if you're part of a couple. BUT, let's get real here...the same couple you see strolling together have to put up with each other's annoying little (and some, big) ways.

In fact, it is very possible that one of them doesn't even want to be engaged in whatever activity you're observing. For every lovey-dovey (bet they've not been together long) couple you see, and for every content, settled and happy in their relationship couple you see, there are many more like this:

"I wish he'd hurry up with lunch, I have a yoga class to make."

"Wish I was at home watching the game, but if I don't go along she gives me hell for a week"

"Everytime we do anything together he acts like he'd rather be someplace else"

"Will she never shut up about (fill in the blank)? I can never get a word in edgewise!"

Etc, etc....ad nauseum.

And to think that so many are thinking or even articulating these thoughts as you walk by in your loneliness...well, they can take comfort in their "togetherness". They are socially acceptable; they are not alone.

But my dear, when you go home you can take a nap undisturbed, no guilt trips on yard or housework will be laid upon you, nobody's tv or music blares from another room, nobody is going to testily march in announcing "we need to talk", nobody has eaten all your leftover Chinese, and you have control of the remote and everything in the fridge.

So what...right now you're taking some time for YOU. Recharge, relax, and enjoy it before the next onslaught of having to be there and in many cases, be *all* for somebody else.

Answer 2

Quit comparing yourself to the people you see. You should be happy for them, and realize that as soon as you stop moping about and feeling lonely because someone else has what you want - you'll be open to finding it yourself. but the more you mope about and whine about other people being happy when you are not - the longer you will be single and lonely.

it doesn't matter that other people are coupled. Open your eyes wider and see the whole picture. There are people out there that are lonely just like you. You aren't a martyr and you aren't the only one. So stop focusing on one thing - and see the entire world for what it is.

You could be in a worse situation - being lonely is a state of mind. You are also independent. You are also NOT in an abusive, controlling relationship. So why don't you see the glass half full - and realize that you are single because you aren't going to lower your standards.

Answer 3

let it motivate you to become stronger as an independent and single woman.

life's funny like that. being desperate for a relationship actually makes you less attractive to the opposite sex, or sets you up to get hurt easily. on the other hand, being single and happy about your independence and genuinely not looking makes you look confident about your own self-esteem and that is actually what makes you more attractive to guys.

its like reverse psychology nature plays on you. but its 100% guaranteed. truly enjoy your single-hood. stop looking and focus on being independently successful. youll start to be confident about yourself and it will radiate, and then youll have the cream of the crop of eligible men to choose from

i'm not saying ignore the pain of being lonely, just use it to challenge yourself to become your best self. the great thing is, whether you get a man or not, you'll be a happy individual. and thats when you'll find a real good man

Answer 4

why do you feel lonely?
have you ever had a partner?
did you lose a partner, or otherwise end a long-term relationship?

I'm in a similar situation. I have a person that I'm friendly with, but it isn't a relationship, and sometimes I too feel lonely when seeing happy couples... however, I know that right now in my life, a steady committed relationship is not the right thing for me, so I silently say a prayer that they will find continued happiness in their lives, and hope that I too find it someday.

Just don't stare at them....

Answer 5

do what i do: step back from the self view and think "I'm happy that those two are lucky enough to have each other". Then I try to focus on workingout at a gym, or homework. I'm still not the brightest, but I lost 65 lbs!!!!!! heh heh heh
But I just feel happy for them, and pray that I'll meet the right girl.

Answer 6

Remain focussed! You must have good reasons for not moving out with someone. If you have no reason, then say YES once, and grab one for yourself. The internet is a place where you can make a lot of friends. Man shall not live by bread alone ... there are other things to spice your life: you can't cheat nature, you know!

Answer 7

Try to remember how nice it is that you don't have to report to someone. You get to make all the decisions. All the screw ups that take a toll on your life are your own and you don't have to suffer because of someone elses mistakes. You are in control of the remote. No drama, except on tv.

Answer 8

i have experienced that ...and i know how hard and heart griping to be lonely and others are couples and happy....

i try to busy my self with reading a romantic book or indulge my self with a treat in a spa ...do the things that i like and would relax me...

think positive and try to show the best of you ...who knows someone might cross your path and keep your heart igniting with love :)

Answer 9

Be happy for them, wish them well - how do u know they aren't wishing they were single - LOL the grass isn't always greener on the other side!!

God Bless!

Answer 10

Get a boyfriend and then you won't even worry about other couples.