I love my daughter but, she has lie, to get her way. Even to the point were her father was accused of rape, just so she didn't have to come home. Now she will be turning 18 this month and I'm afraid she will sign her self out. She has little to no social skills. Has finished high school. Has no Job. And wil have no place to go.
Her father and I would welcome her home but it has gotten to the point were she will have to ask to come home. To many lies and to many. Hurt feelings.
2006-11-02 01:41:58 · 15 answers · asked by sick and tired 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If she is 18 and doesn't want to come home.. well .. mom.. it's time to let her go. Life will have some very strong lessons to teach her and unfortunately she has chosen not to listen to her parents and thus decided to discover these hard lessons on her own.
I would also suggest that you refrain from 'saving her' when she calls and needs a little money... or transport somewhere... or wants to 'stay over' for a night or two. If you allow her to use you in this way you are simply enabling her to continue to live in a way that is distructive.
It's time for a bit of 'Tough Love' and you must stand strong and wait until she has hit absolute rock bottom and has no place else to turn. Then.. allow her back in with specific and strict rules and regulations. This would consist of limited communications (to cut off the bad outside influences), a set of responsibilites including household chores (beyond keeping her room clean), a JOB! and finishing her HS education and/or GED (if she hasn't done so).
You must stand strong and not allow yourself to enable her distructive behaviour.. the only way to do this.. is to force her to live on her own.
Good luck and I hope this helps!
2006-11-02 01:50:29 · answer #1 · answered by wrkey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't divorce him without him knowing. What you can do is make preparations to leave without him knowing. 1. find someplace to go - friend or relative's house, shelter, State Park, hotel, whatever you can afford or find 2. Set aside some money, cash. You will need this for expenses right after you leave. 3. Make a copy of every important document, house mortgage, insurance, birth certificates, diplomas, paycheck stubs, car titles, loans, bank statements, tax returns, social security cards, credit cards, 4. Store the copy in a safe place, like at work, with a friend or in a PO Box. 5. Pack a bag with essentials and 3 days worth of clothes. Leave this bag with a friend or at work. 6. Make sure you include any medications you take in this bag. 7. Back your car into the driveway and keep the gas tank full, hide an extra set of keys, leave the driver's door unlocked and all others locked. When the time is right, you can get away with minimal confrontation. Once you leave, take your name off the utilities. Find a lawyer. Your husband cannot keep everything that was acquired during the marriage. The law will not allow that. Even if the house is in his name, you may be entitled to some equity, but you NEED to talk to a lawyer.
2016-05-23 16:31:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is 18, an adult, she can do whatever she wants. Hopefully you have done the best you could to raise her right and she will be ok. She will just have to learn on her own or accept help from you. Maybe after a mistake or twi (hopefully not harmful ones) she will wake up and realize how good she had it and come home until she grows up a little more.
2006-11-02 01:45:40 · answer #3 · answered by Flower Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't WANT to come home...she is 18 and has the world all figured out already. Let her go. If there is a chance that she will want to come back home, this may be the only way. (by letting her go). It is either sink or swim...what she does is her choice. All you really can do is pray for her at this point.
2006-11-02 01:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're the adult and need to set an example for your daughter. Try forgiving her, and moving forward. Whether or not she lives at home with you, you can still re-build, and have a relationship with her. Family is precious, and should love each other through good and bad times!
2006-11-02 01:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen sweetheart you did all you could do..I know as moms' we still worry about our children till the day we die but she is 18...time to let her learn the hard way. That is the route she chose for herself and there is no more you can do. Sorry hon! Been there done that!
2006-11-02 03:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe it is the fact that you think that she is a liar and you dont support her. How is she going to go to a house (not a HOME) where her own mother thinks so negative about her. I wouldnt go back either. Ask yourself would you go somewhere, where they think so bad about you. I think that you need to check yourself first before you start judging her. And if she wants to be on her own she can she is of age.
2006-11-02 01:49:50 · answer #7 · answered by homie_j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show that you love her and want the best for her talk to her about college (thats where i am) and about what she wants for the future help her get a job and let her have some freedoms thats one thing that teens want does she have a bf what is he like maby he is causing her to be this way does he taalk to you or does he avoid you i hope this will help and good luck and God bless
2006-11-02 01:50:18 · answer #8 · answered by joblo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a long talk with her, let her know that her behavior is unacceptable. help her get a job or find activites where she can solialize with people that have the same intrests as she does. and no matter what keep telling her you love her and you want her to be safe.
2006-11-02 01:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want her back?? Let her go. As my momma always says, "Make your bed as hard as you want, your the only person that has to lay in it". I finally figured out what this meant when I turned 18. AND IT SUCKS!
2006-11-02 01:45:30 · answer #10 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋