What changed his mind Part 2. I am 27 and he was 39. The age thing didn't bother either of us.?

Question

We had so much in common, it didn't even phase us. Why would someone spend so much time, effort and money to "get what he wanted" when he could have found someone closer to where he lives? And why put on the facade the entire weekend? I'm confused, heartbroken and your answers are helping greatly. Thanks to all!

Answer 1

So you were only together for a weekend??

He lives far away is that right?

He is twelve years older than you?

Did you have sex with him the first weekend you were together??

Please look at these questions objectively.
If all of the answers are YES, he got what he came for.

Men will travel hundreds of miles just for sex.

An ENTIRE weekend is NOTHING, you have your whole life ahead.

I'm sorry you were hurt, but forget about him and go on with your life.

Answer 2

Okay, I'm going to be a little different from some of the people answering on here.
You are old enough to understand what men AND women are like.
I don't think he went through all that just for sex..(unless he's a total loser, and ugly).
Men and women both like sex and you're well over the age of consent.
Have you ever had a friend who you loved to talk to on the phone, but when you're together in person, it's just not the same?
Yes, you're heartbroken, yes..you're confused. I would be too. But, the fact that he is "hiding" from you (did not have the guts to even tell you on PHONE.. he EMAILED you that he was breaking it off) shows that he liked the "fantasy" of the whole thing but the reality is different.
HONESTLY.. He seems to live in a fantasy land, where a woman that he meets/talks with on line and on the phone is ANYone he wants her to be.
But, in REAL life, the fact that he could NOT or would not tell you in any other way than EMAIL shows that he is scared or simply not going to go there.
Think about it.. Do you REALLY want to spend anymore time on someone like him?? Think of him as the coward he is.. and I think you'll be less heartbroken.. After all, you want a MAN not a frightened fantasy wimp who has a real life gf in his life.
I feel sorry for HER..
Put your head up HIGH.. You have learned a lesson that will serve you well. IN PERSON only next time. If you want to use the personals.. look in YOUR area. That way you can meet and not have just a fantasy romance.
You'll make it!!

Answer 3

I am 39 and usually date younger women. When you get past around 32/34 you have to have things a certain way... that goes with how women act. Depending on what type of male he is if you're not "acting" in a matter befitting what he expects at every turn then he'll drop you like a hot rock.
What you feel as a lot of time, effort and money is probably just a pittance to him. I know sometimes when I do things for or buy something for a young lady they're blown away and I am suprised by their reactions until later I remember that at their age they are used to certain things from guys closer to their age. When a guy at 27 buys you flowers & dinner a guy that is 39 would feel the same way about a really expensive hotel, expensive clothes and dinner and not think a thing about it. Comes with age I suppose....we all used to think at age seven a lollipop was the greatest thing in the world to have.....now it's gotta be the right house. Perspective. Your guy is more than likely married, so just blow it off and don't worry about it.....there are plenty of unmarried men that are attractive and available and older out there that would be perfectly happy to date you. I'm one of them.....if you're smart and attractive.... lol. Remember: with an older man, don't have sex with him until four or five dates.....then you'll know. email me if you have any questions. be well.

Answer 4

Some men like the game and the conquest. This is a game to him. Perhaps he had committed to come see you but was just "working" you. I do suspect he has a habit of doing this and he likes the "game". You are the rabbit he has been chasing: he caught you and it was not fun anymore: so he's on to another rabbit.

You need to be thankful you did not invest any more time on the guy than you did and get on with your life. Please no communicating with this guy because he will only hurt your feelings again.

He either knew his ex was sick when he came to see you; or he made that story up to get rid of you. He never really mentioned the sick ex to you, now did he. He played you. Sorry but it is the fact.

The guy is sick.

Answer 5

i hate to have to tell you this, but i agree completly with samm, your first comment. i know that it hurts, but sometimes the truth hurts. and beleive me, your not the only girl that this has happened to. i have been there also.

Answer 6

Sex.