Ok so me and my girl friend have been dating for 5 years. in this time we only broke up once and that lasted two days. now she broke up with me agian. She says she dosn't feel the same anymore. But i still thinks she loves me. I meet up with her again and after a long talk she told me she needs time. My question is how much time should i wait and if i should try and contact her in a day or two and try and work this out.
2006-11-02 01:05:16 · 22 answers · asked by detox_denny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't wait. She's probably "fishing" or already has someone in mind to date, or is already seeing someone else. Go out and start dating other girls! If she cares about you she will get jealous and want to get back. ( The, "I don't want him , but I don't want anyone else to have him" syndrome.) At any rate you don't want to have her view you as a "toy" that she can put on a shelf and just take down whenever she pleases. Sometimes it's a person's way of letting someone down easy by saying "I need time". Sometimes it's when someone has been "crowding" someone and spending too much time with another person. What ever the reason, do yourself a favor and go out and LIVE!
Oh yeah........ And when you start talking to other girls, don't bring up the fact that you just broke up with someone you were dating. It's a big turn-off to most of them. ( They might think you are still hung up on someone else and won't want to date you.)
2006-11-02 01:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by southwind 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is telling you she needs time. This could vary with the person who is trying to find their answer.
Sometimes you agree to see other people during this time and see if your feelings are still there.. Sometimes you just want to be alone and do some soul searching.. this also has no time line.
I guess you should discuss with her the amount of time she wants and if there is going to be dating in the meantime or not. I think if you two get this out on the table and discuss it, do one will get the wrong idea and go ahead with dating when the other person hasn't/
You need to know the boundaries while you two are apart. You should definitely plan on a time line.
No one is going to wait forever for someone to make up their mind.
I feel that if she is unsure after 5 years that she is getting ready to go into a different direction. That doesn't mean you have something wrong with you.. you have outgrown each other emotionally.
This does happen and it would be a shame to stay in a relationship that was one sided. You both deserve more. this might be the first step in your freedom.
2006-11-02 01:35:39 · answer #2 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jim, im doing the exact same thing to my fella, ive told him i need time. Its not true. Its the easy way out. Its a case of keeping you hanging on so that if she finds nothing better she can get you back. Ever think she said she needs time so that she doesnt feel so bad in breaking your heart. Sounds like she is trying to do it gently.... but drawing it only makes it worse. Dont wait around. Its unlikely she will come back. If she truely loves you then she wouldnt have ended it. She must be having some serious doubts.
2006-11-02 01:08:56 · answer #3 · answered by Chez 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she says she needs time, she is probably just being polite, the truth could be she got someone on the side, she could be curious to try it out with the new guy, but she might be just scared and wanted to stay with you, she simply doesn't know what to do.
In this case, I guess the best you can do is, be prepared for the worst senario, and give her as much time as she desires. Do not push her or rush her, she might just go away further.
2006-11-02 01:09:43 · answer #4 · answered by devviash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell her that when she is ready to talk about her issues you will be there. In the mean time, wait. You surely don't want to pester her to the point hat she gets angry and really wants to end it all. When a girl says she needs time, she really needs time. I know its hard but you have to give her the distance that she requires. Maybe she is going through some things in her life that she needs to work out without the stress of your relationship adding to it. Just let her know That your there when she needs you and wait it out. If she never comes back, it wasn't meant to be anyway.You know the old saying, "if you love them, let them go". That couldn't be more true babe. Good luck.
2006-11-02 01:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by AmberKortni 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As long as you want to wait. However, I wouldn't avoid other women in the meantime! If and when she decides she made a mistake(for the 2nd time, I might add!) remember something: She left; let her come back to YOU and make damned sure she understands she has to adhere to your standards now...and be a man. Nothing worse than a guy getting thrown under a bus because his willy wants to maintain the status quo!!!
2006-11-02 01:09:52 · answer #6 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't contact her at all. Let her contact you. Respect her boundaries that she needs her space. Maybe she does still love you but she told you that it is over and you need to respect that. If she wants to work it out she will let you know when that time has come. The more you bother her the less likely she will be of wanting the relationship to work. I know it smarts, I just got out of a 15 year marriage, and oh yeah, it hurts. I was the one to end it due to abuse and infidelity but I was so tempted to run back to him so many times because I will always love him, he is the father of my boys. But it isn't about love. It is about trust, respect, integrity, honor, etc...And he doesn't have any of those qualities.
Let her come to you when the time is right for her. If not, maybe it wasn't meant to be. GL
2006-11-02 01:12:58 · answer #7 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say every time you think about calling her, don't two of those times. When you do call her (and I would highly recommend less than once a day) keep the convos to "how are you" sorts of topics. Don't ask her if she's thought about things. Do this for as long as you can stand to and still be able to ask her where she's at calmly when you reach the end of your rope, so to speak.
2006-11-02 01:12:44 · answer #8 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get your mind off the situation. Date some other people or just go out with friends. Do some volunteer work (very satisfying). Go to church or wherever you worship and strengthen your faith.
If she loves you she will let you know. If she has fallen out of love then you need to get on with your life.
There are a lot of girls in the world and one is waiting for you to come along right now.
2006-11-02 01:09:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, all i can say is wait until she call, u dont call her, i repeat dont call her right back give it some time, let her come around, women goes through a lot as well as men, but if she loves you as much as you love her she will come back to you......I understand if she dont come back it will hurt, but then call her and keep in on a friendly relationship and let her know where you at know....DOnt seem lonely
2006-11-02 01:10:20 · answer #10 · answered by Ronica 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋