Please help - how can I get my ex to talk to me?

Question

I broke up with him because I could not deal with his anger management issues, he treated me pretty badly sometimes, but now I look back and see that it wasn't all bad and I really love him and miss him and regret breaking things off. When we were still together but kind of fighting a lot and trying to make things work I found his personals ad, I was really hurt and I broke up with him. He ordered me to stay away from his friends but I did something really stupid, I sent an email to his friends saying goodbye and that I broke up with him because he cheated on me. That was really stupid and immature and totally unlike me, I was really hurt and not thinking rationally and I really regret it now. I want to apologize to him. I was told that I need to stay away from him for at least a month,so I did. After over a month I saw him at a mutual friend's birthday party and he won't even talk to me and look at me. I took a leap of faith and emailed him two days ago - just a light and breethy "Hey

OK, I took a leap of faith and emailed him two days ago - just a light and breathy "Hey, it was good seeing you at the party Saturday night, you look great - have you been working out?" No reply. Nothing. I am totally devastated. How can I apologize to him if he won't even talk to me? How can we resolve anything if he won't even reply to the most innocent of emails? What can I do to get him to talk to me so I can apologize?

Answer 1

You can't get him to talk to you, he has to decide that...however that's not stopping you from apologizing...either go to him and apologize in person (whether he speaks ot you or not) or do it via email...then let it go...

You screwed up, but it also doesn't sound like that relationship was a good one and you're trying to convince yourself it was better than it was because you don't like being single...

Apologize if that's what you feel you need to do...and then put the situation behind you and move on...if he ever wants to communicate with you, he'll let you know...but face it, if someone had done to you what you did to him, wouldn't you probably hold a grudge for a while? Most people would...

Answer 2

I think you should just let him go, ignore him see what he does, sooner or later things will blow over and maybe he'll try talking to you. I'm not totally sure on this, but it's apparent he doesn't want to talk to you for some reason. Just let things settle, he could be really upset about the things you said to his buddies. Like you're really upset about the things you said...

another thing you could do is just confront him, walk up to him and be like hey,I need to talk to you. and then if he looks at you or even if he doesn't you know that he knows you're there and talking so, tell him how you feel apologize and stuff. That way, you said what you needed to say and he was there. Wether he was paying attention or not you said your piece and if he doesn't accept it, oh well. There's bigger fish in the sea.

These are just things I came up with, no sure fire way i know if these are going to work. But, It should give you an idea or something. haha

Answer 3

You did something you regret and now you want to make it right. Thats cool on your part BUT you can not make someone want to be bothered with you NOR can you make them hear you out and accept your apologies. Instead of the email saying great to see you and blah, blah, blah, you could have just emailed and said how sorry you were for doing or saying whatever you did or said and leave it at that. Its over...just move on.

Answer 4

start with an apology for the silly things you've done.
however, you also have to make him realize that his actions also caused you pain.
be very specific in which actions you're sorry for and which of his actions caused you pain.
after this, let it be.
if he will respond, then you can start talking again.
however, there are times he will simply not respond because he doesn't like you anymore...then you'll have to accept that and move on.
remember, loving a person means being ready to let go of him also and letting him fly his own flight.

Answer 5

I think that you should forget about him and find someone who will treat you better. It does not sound like it was all that great with him. It seems like you are remembering the good times and not remembering the bad. I think it is time to move on.

Answer 6

if you two were to get back together he'd still make you feel like crap. I am realizing this now with a complicated 6 year on and off relationship.the only thing getting me out of this is realizing that i am cool and there are plenty of people out there that appericate me.I found this out at work of all places lol. I work at a real nice grocery store. funny thing most of my friends there are 8-6 years younger than me lol. but when I was there age all I did was hang out with Josh. Josh was a good friend and I can excuse him for when he was younger and had no experience dealing with girls but now I mean I know he loves me but he is WAY too selfish,cruel and hurtful. I could go on and on about it. I just decided last night that I have to put my foot down and not see him anymore. You can't change your b/f and I know you're thinking of the good times when he was caring and sweet and you were happy with him and you think things could go back to that or you'd have less time fighting but if he decided to take you back you'd still feel like crap with him. you said he has anger issues, you need to be with someone who is happy and you can be happy with, or at least you know emotionally stable. Josh isn't emotionally stable. Last night I had just about had it with him. Even though we're not fighting I'm not happy with him and he sees it and tells me. But I have a cold and was lonley on my day off of work and school. he got out of work early and was grocery shopping(he lives 45 mins away from me in the city of Philadelphia,he used to live up the street from me but in '02 he went to college there and then got an apartment,he'll be 23 this month)I've gone to see him a billion times and had 2 spend money on the train,sometimes I'd go to see him,come home for work and then go back that night, ok and he wouldn't come see me because I had a cold and wanted 2 have him to hold me and make me feel better. he's an asshole. instead he went out with his friend and dance and I'm like wtf how can you go out there and have fun dancing and not be thinking of how I am feeling. I mean that's nothing but I'm just like it's not worth it anymore. I know this will be hard 4 me and even as I write this I dunno how strong I will be and able to stay true to what I want to do. I always run back to him but I can't anymore and of course if I got a b/f that I was happy with it'd make things a lot easier but I am single,even though I like another ex(I was his first g/f and things sorta went 2 fast). so ya. but he's unreasonable(Josh) and we at least need a 6 month break if not forever. hopefully just the 6 months. but I can't stand for him to always stress and hurt me. It's not healthy and I don't deserve to not be happy. if everyone else finds me enjoyable then why should I put myself in a situation where I am not appericated? you shouldn't either girl. just try to forget and move on. "don't worry,be happy". ok?

Answer 7

Move on already, you had a good reason to leave him in the fist place. According to you, he had anger management problems, why would you want to torture yourself. Find yourself a calm man that actually knows how to treat a woman.

Answer 8

i think you have done whatever it took to ask his forgiveness..sometimes guilt can really make ourselves and others feel very bad..all you can do is tell him your sorry..for acting the way you did..i'm sorry but it is up to him now to either except your forgiveness or refuse it..sometimes others will try and make you feel guilty just in order to make themselves feel better..but in reality he isn't feeling better by not at least accepting your offer of forgiveness..he is probally feeling very guilty..you can also just tell him that you have forgave him also..you may not get back together, but at least you tried..let it go, and just get on with your life..blessings

Answer 9

Move on and remember why you left him in the first place and do yourself a favor don't grovel you are better than that.

Answer 10

you're better off without him he sounds like a right idiot, get someone who treats you with respect girl, but don't go emailing their friends lol