problem with lazy son?

Question

right here goes,hes just turned 13 so is old enough to get a paper round.we want him to do this to teach him you have to work to live when hes older.but he wont get a paper round or do anything else so i said right no more pocket money.he thinks im a bad dad.am i right or wrong. to stop his pocket money till he gets a part time job. what you think.ps he doesnt want for anything allways nice clothes holidays etc.younger sister [9] no problem at all.

to zacaroone,that brightened my day up but best not to do that i think.loland to others yes couch potato also x box spud does well at school but lazy round house wont even peel potatoes.

thanks for all your answers,right where are those adoption papers,lol anybody got madonnas phone number.seriously though chears.

Answer 1

Bit harsh isn't it? Blimey the kid hasn't done anything wrong for you to take his pocket money away!! You're supposed to use that one as a punishment not a bribe.

I agree with ILOVEMARMITE and I quote;
Why should he get a job. Teach him rather to have a responsibility in the house to earn his pocket money !! Its not the 1950's anymore !!

To add, his sister is only 9 ffs! How much pocket money does she get and what does she do for it? The differences between a 9 year old and a 13 year old are massive in terms of emotions etc. Your son is a teenager and doesn't know if he wants to be an adult or a kid at the monent. Give him back his money but go along the lines of " I'll start you off at a (say) £1 per job. I will give you 10 jobs to do every week and IF they are completed you get the cash, if not, you only get paid for the ones that have been".
This works in my household and theres the added bonus of yoou not being the bad guy as you've laid out the ground rules already.
Good luck

Answer 2

No you are right to teach him that you don't get anything for nothing. Trying to looking at it from your sons point of view, maybe he feels that a paper round is uncool these days. I used to work for an hour in a shop after school, or how about at weekends. Or you could give him his pocket money for doing jobs around the house. Try for a while only buying what he really needs and tell him that you can't keep buying.

Good luck

Answer 3

Okay - learn from my mistakes.
I encouraged my sons to get paper rounds, etc. They were so keen to earn money that they took on jobs all the time - and never got one decent GCSE.
I now have two daughters approaching the same age and I gave them an increase in pocket money so they don't have to go out to earn. To earn their pocket money they do various jobs - not much. They keep their bedrooms tidy, feed the animals, unpack the dishwasher, etc etc.
Their first priority is their schoolwork.
I have charts that I tick off - they lose 50 p per job they don't do.
Oh and by the way, I fine them £5 if they're cheeky. Solves two problems in one.
So get off the kid's back. What do you want - an uneducated lout or a well adjusted, educated boy with a future?

Answer 4

He is bone idle. He has had everything on a plate so it's going to be quite difficult for him to come round to your idea of thinking.

13 is quite young still bear in mind. I had a papreround but at 14. Remember if it is an evening one then he may be out in the dark - depending on what area you live in this could be troublesome (or not).

Why not firt try to get him to do odd-jobs around the house as a way or earning his pocket money and then progress to something a little more substantial when he hits 14?

Out of curiosity how much pocket money does he get? Maybe if its too much he wont need to earn his own wedge?

I say cut off the money and start with odd jobs.

Answer 5

Blimey i think it's a bit harsh expecting a only just turned 13 year old to get a parttime job! i see where your'e coming from he does need to know the value of things and not take his pocket money for granted, so instead i'd say tell him his pocket money is stopped unless he does the hoovering ocne a week/washes up or something and anyway how safe is a kid walking round at 6am in the dark these days??

Answer 6

My father was extremely strict with me and my siblings as children we did our fare share of work around the house and if we wanted extra money we went out and found jobs, put up a list of chores he can do around the house, that way he can earn his pocket money and stay safe at the same time I had one son who did a paper round (and enjoyed it) and my other son did it for two weeks and wouldn't do it again - both are now grown up living at home still and very lazy around the house but they both work and have done since they left school, I appreciate and respect what my father taught me and hopefully my boys will feel the same one day - whatever you do remember your kids are individuals and will grow into their own young adults later on, take the pressure off your son to do a paper round and he may feel differently about it in a few months time. good luck

Answer 7

I see your point , However at the age of 13 he should put more into his school studies and learning to help around the house. Have learn that it is okay for boys to do the dishes, help set the table, sort his own laundry, help vacuum, mop the floors, take out the garbage, clean the windows, dust and all of the other household jobs.
If he does do these things give him an allowance for that. Reward him for A and B on report card. In this day and age I would not want my child out there with all of the crazy people, and careless drivers.
BUT you are his father so you do what you think is best.

Answer 8

You're doing the right thing. If you pay for everything all his life and give him money he'll never get motivated to do anything for himself. Maybe he could find something other than a paper route. Maybe cleaning up in a mechanics garage or yard work (mowing, raking, snow shoveling, etc...). If you are in an area where there is a soup kitchen or something similar it might be a good idea for the two of you to go volunteer. Let him see what it's like for others. He'll appreciate what he has now and it will teach him to work and to care about people less fortunate than himself. My 12 year old daughter and I have been volunteering in a soup kitchen for three years now. It has been a wonderful experience for me as well as her. Good luck! (-:

Answer 9

Well, I only started working at 16, while still at school, why don't you get him to do work around the house, like washing dishes, tidying up, a paper round isn't that good a job, give him time, once older he will have more choice in part time jobs, in a hotel or shop, I would never have done a paper round and wouldn't force my kids to either, 13 is still young.

Answer 10

If he won't get a job why don't you get him to do things around the house (that he doesn't do at the moment) and 'pay' him up to the amount of pocket money you would normally give him? Something for washing up, tidying his room, washing the car etc.? At his age I would of thought he might like a part time job for the extra money it brings in. However, at this time of year I can understand why he might not want to do an early morning paper round. I'm sure there is something suitable for him. I don't think you are doing anything wrong.