I would like parents opinions. I do not want children never wanted children and people make me feel bad for it. I like my life as it is I mean it is difficult enough taking care of my dog, so let alone a child.
My husband and I discussed this way before marriage and were and have been in agreement about it. I work at a OB/GYN office and after seeing the things that I see I can definitely say I dont want children.
I feel comfortable with my choice but what should I say to people that seem to make my choice there business and put me down for it?
2006-11-01 23:09:23 · 27 answers · asked by lalala 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You tell them to get right the hell off it sister! It's your life, your body, and your mind. You can just stop them the way I do
"Do you have children?"
me "No, I choose not to"
"But why children are the best....blah blah blah"
"Because I choose not to bring a child into this world that I would not be happy with, because a child deserves to be raised in a home where they are loved as a blessing."
and that stops most people dead. but I still get the "You'll change your mind" to which I reply "No, beacuse I am a grown woman and I know my own mind, I don't need socioty to tell me I need the 2.5 kids and a dog to be happy, I am happy in myself"
2006-11-03 08:19:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is very brave of you to admit it. It would be wrong if you (and your husband) knew you didn't want kids, but then purposely had one. Some people know in their gut, like myself, that they want to be a parent more than anything. Other people know in their gut that they do not. If your husband and you decided together before getting married that you would not be parents, than don't let other people's choices make you feel guilty. Not everyone makes good parent material, yet some stupid people go out and make babies anyway.
If people ask if you will be having children, tell them it's not for you. It takes a stronger person to make the decision not to become a parent. It IS none of their business, but some people don't know how to NOT say stupid things.
I've seen this after being pregnant twice. If perfect strangers feel it's appropriate to talk about boobs and breastfeeding, I would imagine there aren't many subjects they won't tackle.
Enjoy nieces or nephews, children of friends, etc., and then send them home. It's okay, and you are no less of a person.
Aloha.
2006-11-02 00:02:32 · answer #2 · answered by radlmama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You simply tell people that it is none of their business. It is your life and your decision. Tell them that you are not questioning them or putting them down about their choice to have children. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to have children. That is totally up to you and your husband. If you both feel the same way and agree about it, then don't worry about anyone else or their opinions. You have to do what is best for you and that is all there is to it. Best of luck!
2006-11-01 23:38:01 · answer #3 · answered by ddbach1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to explain to anyone. Your husband and you made a choice, you are the only ones involved, people tend to interfere where they have no business, it is human nature, there is no reason for either one of you to feel badly about your decision, not everyone is cut out to be a parent, one only has to read a newspaper to know that, mind you that is another extreme, however, I know many people, myself included who never had children, and neither they nor I have ever apologized for it, when questioned, I have just raised my eyebrows and said "that question is a bit personal don't you think?" Case closed! Don't ever feel guilty about your decision, and ignore the rude individuals who judge.
2006-11-01 23:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by parker 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not wrong and noboby should be putting you down, It is your life and your decision. You were mature and honest enough to tell your husband before you married and that is what BOTH of you want.
I know lots of people who don't want kids, It's your life and knwing this is better tahn having kids and resenting them or being miserable.
You know what makes your life work. I get critized for being a single mother all the time. IT is nobody's business!
2006-11-02 01:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by Willow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about what other people think. I am getting ready to have my first child and it's alot of responsability and life changing. We weren't going to have children but as we got older we changed our minds. I know just how you feel. Some people thought we were missing out on life because we didn't want kids. We felt that we weren't ready for that kind of change in our lives and wanted our freedom. Good luck to you and don't let anyone pressure you and your husband into trying for kids if that isnt' what you want.
2006-11-01 23:26:34 · answer #6 · answered by shorty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you, it takes a strong person or people to realize today's society is very unkind. I feel bad for my children that they have been put in this world to deal with all the pain and suffering they experience around them. Today's kids have it much rougher, and I see alot depression. I would never take it back, but I pray life is good to them as they get older.
2006-11-01 23:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by Lady X 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong that you do not want kids.It's your choice.I personally would rather see people be honest with them selves and admit it, then have children they don't want and wind up resenting them or worse abuse or neglect them.Just because you are a woman does not mean that you Must have or for that matter must want children.Tell those who feel you should that it is really none of their bees wax and that your and your husband are very happy with your lives as they are.
2006-11-02 09:36:19 · answer #8 · answered by blue_eyed_brat78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Well done for making an informed decision. I love my children more than anything in the world. (and the world does revolve around them). But if we knew then, what we know now, I'm not sure that we would have had kids.
So don't let other people tell you you're wrong, it's your decision and yours only.
2006-11-01 23:27:04 · answer #9 · answered by Karen D 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is wrong at all. there are too may children out there that weren't wanted. My daughter doesn't want them either and I respect that. (grandma wouldn't fit me anyway) I do feel though as long as you told your husband beforehand and that he understands it then all is alright. No one should be made to do something (anything) that they don't feel comfortable with. It is your decision, your life, and your business. Don't let anyone else make it theirs.
2006-11-01 23:29:18 · answer #10 · answered by BONNI 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋