I have had some major OCD issues over the years and my family has always wanted to send me to therapy. Well, I finally made the decision to see someone. I thought my family would be proud of me and would try to work with me on my problems and perhaps try to be a little bit more understanding. The opposite happened. It seems they have adopted a sort of "zero tolerance policy" so that I can't say or do ANYTHING without them getting angry at me. I feel completely hurt and alone. Everyone is against me and I am getting absolutely no support. I will definitely let my therapist know what is going on. In the meantime, how do I deal with this?
2006-11-01 23:05:13 · 12 answers · asked by kid_at_heart 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is unfortunate that your family isn't being suipportive, but, they probably don't understand OCD or how to deal with it. I'm sure your therapist will give you some insight as to how to deal with them. In the meantime, be strong and be proud of yourself for getting some help to make your life more manageable. A lot of times people will turn away from things they can't fix because they are frustrated and feel helpless. Hang in there and focus on yourself and getting help instead of focusing on how your family is taking it. Sometimes it gets lonely dealing with these kind of issues because people really don't understand it.
2006-11-01 23:21:31 · answer #1 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar family. Although it has nothing to do with seeing a counselor. One of the key things to remember is that most people in this world don't change. If you constantly have the expectation for them to be supportive, then you're wasting your energy. They won't be. Even if as a society we expect our parents and family to be supportive, not all families are like that. Mine isn't very supportive either. Just let them be however they are.
Just do your best in life. One day you might create your own family who may be a bit more sane.
I had a relationship which became exactly as you describe where absolutely anything I did or said was wrong. Now a few years have gone past since our break-up and although I don't live the greatest life at least I live outside of that situation. Insanity. Really, absolutely anything I did, didn't do, said, didn't say, etc. was a cause for blaming me, being angry at me, fault-finding, etc.
One thing you have to be careful with is now that you're seeing a counselor, because they can't even recognize the importance of that step, they will probably see that itself as more reason to be against you. Now it's like they have proof that you are a big problem for them. You're such a problem that you have to see a counselor. Obvious insanity on THEIR part, not yours. You want to heal, they couldn't care less.
To be honest, some of us have to just let our families be the idiots they are. Don't try to be a different person just for them. As you can see, they won't care anyway.
I would recommend reading the following book: "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.
Best of everything to you.
2006-11-01 23:20:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have found with family when you are doing nothing, they sit around and talk about what you should do.
Then when you decide to do something, then they scrutinize the decesions you make, and the path you mayhave chosen.
After you overcome your crisis on the otherside, and are doing well, they will tell you they knew you could do it all the time. And will most likely believe themselves to be supportive.
The way I deal with it, is to be kind, be forgiving, but when I had enough, seperate myselves from them. I've tried to talk, send emails, but it never gets accross, always misunderstood. I know they love me, and I can overlook alot because I know thet when it comes down to it, thier hearts are good towards me.... even if they r a little foked up in the way they show it.
2006-11-01 23:34:34 · answer #3 · answered by ~MB~ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk honestly with them, they might really feel like they are helping. Tell them how you feel, in a non confrontational way. Just say when you do this - I feel this. Explain while you want and need the support, it needs to be in a way that will help you and that you are comfortable with.
2006-11-01 23:13:39 · answer #4 · answered by lovestoshop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write them a note telling them what you are thinking AND how you are feeling.
Leave the note for them to find at a time when you know they won't be busy, then don't be there when they read it. Give them some time to think it over and hopefully come to you.
Hope this helps
2006-11-02 06:16:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes, when dealing with "toxic" people, the best thing you can do is avoid them altogether.
focus on what you need to do for yourself with your therapist. keep at least 1 good, true friend involved in your life. rely on that person for the support you need. when you're ready, you can have that person facilitate any future contact with your family.
There's a book on how to deal with toxic people... can't remember the exact title, but it does contain the words "toxic people"
2006-11-02 01:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by Heath 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, attempt to discover why they imagine you're immature. carry out slightly self-reflection and basically ask them to their face. no longer in hardship-free words that, yet you need to tell them that they extremely damage you even as they say this stuff to you. take care of it as if that's a foul tasting drugs. with out it, you'll in hardship-free words worsen, notwithstanding that's negative to take. you need to be reliable (no crying, whining, or screaming) , because this may be the first step to construction a superior kinfolk courting. If it helps have a chum their with you who will be a supportive rock for you. seek for suggestion from out of your mom and father, in case you sense a panic attack coming, leave the room. bypass on your chum, who's in a diverse room, enable them help you calm back down, then bypass back out and seek for suggestion from out of your mom and father some better. 2d, in case you could, compromise including your mom and father about engaged on the shop. tell them you're waiting to artwork x hours a week in substitute for some thing. you could ask for pay, or loose time, or a kinfolk vacation to the zoo, yet some thing purpose and urban. in the journey that they spoil their end of the best deal, then you actually walk out of your position on the shop. Make a "settlement" with them in case you favor to. this gained't in hardship-free words tutor your non-laziness and adulthood, yet will look strong on college applications. third, attempt getting some form of counseling. in case your relatives won't be able to manage to pay for a private kinfolk counselor, then bypass on your college psychologist or college practise counselor, and they are going to be able which could assist you. If all else fails, spend better time far out of your position (extremely with chum(s) which have superior households than yours), and get an internship this summer that enables you to be faraway from abode.
2016-10-16 07:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by irish 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep taking the tablets hon! your family will all be gone in about 60 years, then you wont have to put up with them anymore, will you?
2006-11-01 23:24:59 · answer #8 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tell them how you feel and tell them you are trying because you love them and yourself and know that god is guideing you through this. accept jesus as lord and repent from your sins so you can be saved and right with god.
2006-11-02 03:25:32 · answer #9 · answered by Dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unsupportive family....... That's the name of my club.
2006-11-01 23:15:35 · answer #10 · answered by Nic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋