Embarrassing situation - 6yr old son?

Question

this is embarrising but I dont know what to do. We have just moved, my son and I, and we don't really know anyone here. Its been a bit tramatic for both of us, his dad died 2 yrs ago.

Lately he has been gettin an erection and has started playing with it. I have tried the 'not appropriate' approach but it doesnt work. sometimes he doesnt notice hes doing it and sometimes he has his pants down. I dont want to make a big deal of it cos of everything he has been through.

I'm worried about him making new friends if he keeps doing this and can't take him to the swimming pool. He getting to old to change in the girls room, and i dont want him having an erection. I'm worried about letting him go the mens, especially when he is doing that.

I grew up as an only child and didnt go babysitting so i've never this problem before. I don't want to talk to anyone we've just met because they might think there is something wrong with him.

Please help, I'm at my wits end.

Answer 1

This is very normal for him to do. I'm surprised he has just started it at the age of 6. I have two sons, both of whom began doing this at about the age of four. It can be annoying but don't make a big deal out of it. Just tell him that it's his body, and if he feels the need to do it, he must do it in the privacy of his own room, and never in front of anyone else. Once he gets used to the fact that he CAN have an erection, the facination with it will go away on it's own. Until then, don't make him feel bad about it. All kids do it at some time.

Answer 2

So sorry to hear that his Dad and your partner passed away,
Initially i would say this is normal, he's only 6 and it's a new feeling that he's experiencing, along with all the other emotions and feelings he is having. So I really wouldn't worry too much, I'm sure it will pass.
Although a parent passing away when you are at such a young age must be very confusing, i do NOT mean this in any nasty way but have you thought of some sort of therapy for him, as it may be some sort of side effect of grief, and an overflow of emotion. Maybe give it a bit more time to pass naturally, then look into the above.
Good luck, it sounds like you're doing the right thing for the moment.
x

Answer 3

I'm sorry that you and your son have been through so much. You are doing a great job and this is completely normal. I have a 13 year old, and I remember this stage. I also babysat for a boy around 6-7 an i remember him getting it out and showing me what it could do! I just said 'hey, thats private i dont wanna see that!' and made it into a joke. With my son, I also took a jovial attitude to the whole situation and would walk in the room and say, hey! thats something u have to do in your room in private, thank you! He would jump when he realised what he was doing. At this age, they get so entranced that they forget they are in the presense of others and need reminding! After a few times, I'm sure he will begin to realise when he's doing it and keep the fiddling to bath and bedtimes only!

Answer 4

He's gone through a really rough time...Losing his father and then moving..it seems he's using this as a comfort zone type of thing..it makes him feel better.
I'd seek some professional help( when I went through my divorce(I know NOT the same thing as death) my children's pediatrician told me that my son at the time was only 1 yrs old..would go through different stages and what I thought would be him coping would actually end up being anger or resentment...THis happened just in the past few years..he's now 14 yrs old)

HOPEFULLY once he makes friends that this "comfort zone activity" will stop.. You did mention that you just moved...that's alot to deal with in a relatively short amount of time....Hell...If my almost 6 yr old son lost his dad...I think he'd resort to using a nuk and sleeping next to me for a long time...His dad is his world! Just know..this is somewhat normal that a little guy will touch himself..he's just trying to find something to make HIM feel better..Hope this helps

Answer 5

I have a 10 year old, and I can tell you that it is perfectly normal for young boys to get erections. It's also normal for him to fiddle around with it.

None of this is sexual in the way that it is with adults, it's just a normal physical event. Every morning my little boy wakes up with an erection. Please stop worrying about this aspect of it, and if you make a fuss he'll start to develop a complex, and that could be disasterous for his future life.

As far as playing with it in public - has he been, or is it just in front of you? Just keep reminding him that it's not polite to expose yourself in front of people - once he sees that other boys don't do that, he won't be inclined to do it himself.

Please don't make this a big issue for him - it truly isn't. He's not a pervert in the making or anything like that, just a perfectly normal child showing an interest in hs own body. And, again, be aware that he is not doing it for sexual gratification in the way that an adult male would.

And frankly - all the people here saying "it's not normal" etc are clearly not the mothers of boys.

Answer 6

First let me say I am sorry for your loss.
Your son is totally normal and in fact what he is doing in discovering his body is healthy for him mentally and physically.
Normally, a child becomes aware of their sexual organs at about 2 years old but what he is doing is not sexual in nature, at least not the way you and I experience it. Most everyone has the right idea on this, but I did want to chime in.
I would not tell him do not do this in front of 'anyone', but I would express it should not be done in public. It is a fine distinction I admit but there are reasons for making sure your son knows his sexuality is ok to share with his partner. The word you choose now might be remembered later, and have much more weight than you realize!
Good luck Mom, I hope this helps. Please stop worrying so, I am sure he will be fine :-D

Answer 7

First let me say that I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I would bet though that this behavior has nothing to do with it. Our son used to do the same thing when he was younger. It's very normal. We simply told our son that yes he was allowed to do this however, the only place he was allowed was in his own room. We explained that this is a very private thing & something that he should only do while in the privacy of his room. Make sure that you don't make too big a deal about it. He needs to know that there is nothing "dirty" or wrong with what he is doing. Children eventually stop this behavior on their own. But for now he has probably discovered that it feels good & it is new to him. Like all new toys, he'll move on eventually.

Answer 8

I think the best thing to do would be to tell him it's not a bad thing, nearly everyone does it, but it's something that people do in private on their own and he MUST do it in his own room if he wants to do it. That's how my parents were with me and my sister. Trust me, when he hits his teens (or understands fully what he is doing) then he will think you are cool for not making it into a big deal.

There's really nothing wrong with him unless he's at it all the time absolutely everywhere and is regularly exposing himself, aware of what he is doing. I think he's just an early starter, but think of it this way, if you can encourage him to be private and that it is fine, at least you'll have less worry that he'll knock someone up when he's 12 from lack of knowledge! Masturbation is the safest sex you can have, so as he gets older you can talk to him more about that.

Answer 9

First of all, there is nothing embarassing about your son getting an erection! It is part of his growth and a good indication that he's normal and healthy. You have to stop him changing in the girls room as this will only increase the frequency of his erections and will even tempt him to explore ways of dealing with the erections - with the girls!! Let him change in the men's room if you want him to grow to be a man. Get a man - friend or family member - to be his role model and to advise him when it comes to such matters. Dont be so overprotective of him. All the best

Answer 10

In addition to previous answers try to interest your son in some sporting activities, a club of some kind. The move is also likely to have had an effect on him. Memories of good times in your old home. This is also a cause of grief. Young boys do not show their feelings in obvious ways, so it is probably his way of coping. Other interests will draw his attention away from his own feelings and help the healing process. It will be a good opportunity for you to get to know people too and may help you to cope with your sad loss.