i am in bad bad situation...i came down to london to study...recently today i got a marriage proposer and my aunts forcing me to see the guy n she told me if the guy is educated and rich she will say yes to him..i am totally against arrange marriage n i love some one elz over the net and we both meeting this december in new years night..i dont know what to do...my parents are poor and i am totally depending on my aunt...on the other hand my guys frm canada he has canadian rights its just that his from another religion and my parents wont accept him...i am only 20 i dont want to marry now until m independant and educated...please HELP ASAD
2006-11-01 22:05:17 · 21 answers · asked by Yasmin 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i have no job.. the government have allowed 20 hours job per week in student visa..how can i earn more to feed myself,giv shelter to myself and cover myself with warm clothes if i work and get 400pounds per month...i am helpless i cant go back where i came from and i dont have money to pay for my education:(
2006-11-01 22:35:49 · update #1
DONT DO IT AND TELL YOUR AUNT YOU DONT WANT TO DO IT SHE DOESNT OWN YOU....!! GOOD LUCK!
2006-11-01 22:06:40 · answer #1 · answered by Angelkiss85 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Aunt who supports you has arranged a marriage for you to someone who is educated and rich. You have a boyfriend but he is of another religion. I hope these are the correct facts. My advice to you would be to 1) get a job, 2) move into your own place3)continue your education 4)tell your aunt that you are a modern, mature young woman and will not be participating in an arranged marriage. At this point move out of her residence and take responsibility for yourself. If you are self supporting then you will increase your self respect. If you do not feel you can work and get your education at the same time or are just not confident of yourself then your aunt will be making decisions that will affect your whole life. You can do this. Gather your courage and take control of your life back into your hands.
2006-11-01 22:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your tright. You should not be forced into marriage if your not in love with this person. Don't let anyone tell you want to do. If you married him then you would only be unhappy for as long as the marriage lasted which wouldn't be long. Marriage is a sacred thing and should be shared with someone whom you are in love with. You need to explain this to your Aunt. Tell her that you are not ready to get married to anyone at this point in your life. You want to be able to experience the world before you settle down. Finish your studies and travel. Have fun and when you meet the right person who you will then you can get married. Just because he has finacial stability doesn't mean he can offer you the emotional support that you need. You deserve to live you life and have a right to live your life the way you choose. You may not always make the right decisions, but they are yours to make. Good Luck and listen to you heart not other people.
2006-11-01 22:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are 20 and an adult.
if you do not want to marry this guy, then NO ONE can force you.
i suggest you talk to your aunty and tell her that you are not happy to marry this guy. also tell her the truth about the other guy you love and tell her that you are not ready to get married yet.
maybe talk to your parents also and tell them the truth. they may get upset / shout at you etc but be firm on your words
WORSE CASE SCENARIO - find a flat on your own or with a friend if your aunt kicks you out, or threatens you. and starting living your life
sorry my answer is a bit harsh, but you only have two choices in front of you - either get arranged married and compromise for your parents sake and never find out if you could have lived your life your way OR fight the world for the one you love (although you need to be sure of this other guy)
now you have to decide is it are you ready to fight your aunt, your parents, and start on your own ? are you prepared to do that ? or do you think getting married to this rich guy is a better option - its the easier one - you will have a house, a husband, maybe even kids after sometime, and who knows maybe he is a ok guy ? have you met him?
let me tell you something, i got married when i was 23, my parents liked my guy, he was same religion so it wasnt complicated but i know it can get quite nasty if the guy is another religion in some families. so think a lot.
good luck
2006-11-01 22:36:03 · answer #4 · answered by GorGeous_Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In regards to your work situation £400 can go a long way if you are careful with your expenses.
You don't mention if those monies have to pay for accomodation or if that is taken care for already.
Something that may help you is joining the FreeCycle group ( http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FreecycleLondon/ ) where people give away for free stuff that you may find useful.
Cook at home as much as possible, join with buddies to buy stuff by the biggest packages, which are normally cheaper by the unit , bike or walk to work and school if at all possible. I am sure other people will come with other suggestions.
2006-11-02 14:22:11 · answer #5 · answered by Tzctlpc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you should go with our heart and not be pushed into something your not 100% about.
I understand that religion is different and that "you must do what the good book tells you" or whatever but I am a great believer in making your own luck/destiny.
Don't know if this helps but I am in a dilemma at the moment with my relationship so I am practising what I preach!!
2006-11-01 22:24:07 · answer #6 · answered by Steve 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-24 11:22:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet this guy and explain to him that your aunt forced u to meet him. Tell him u love sm1 else and if hes really a good guy he'll respect your feelings. U may not take him as a lover but u can gain him as a friend.
2006-11-01 22:12:49 · answer #8 · answered by purestar777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ust not marry anyone just because they rae rich even if your aunt wants this.
Stick to what you believe in and when you marry marry someone you can love forever, someone you can talk to, even when the sex has died (In later years after retiremnet age)
get your career sorted and if your aunt is persistant run away
2006-11-01 22:10:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats hard.. well dont give away your freedom to choose your happiness.. talk to your aunt and settle that issue.. and although you have a current love, it doesnt mean that he should be the one youll be marrying, its a matter of time,.. you are still young and is capable to achieve more in life.. youll get to meet the right one for you, with no help form others...
2006-11-01 22:21:10 · answer #10 · answered by `red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are educated and independent. Ask your aunt to take a walk and pursue your life on your own terms.
2006-11-01 22:09:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋