I keep going out with my close female friend, we go to dinner, lunch together and for drinks in the evening. We also take roadtrips together to the coast and to the country for walks, usually followed by dinner and its just the 2 of us.This happens at least every 2 weeks, if not on a weekly basis. We’re attracted to each other, flirt with each other, we’re in touch practically everyday, can only open up too me,feels very comfortable with me, enjoys spending time with me,we trust each other etc
She doesn’t like it when I mention other girls that I’m interested in or ask her for advice concerning them.She always tells me that she never pulled when she went out,she’s not interested in anyone, don’t fancy anyone,etc
We kissed once(very passionate,all over each other)a few months back and she said we should remain friends.She said that I don’t do it for her(also kiss), but still finds me attractive and the thought of us being intimate doesn’t repulse her. So how can’t I do it for her?
2006-11-01 21:07:37 · 25 answers · asked by roadtripman90 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Said we have a platonic bond between us. She DON’T like talking about ‘us’ taking it further and changes the subject when I raise the topic or goes quiet. She’s never had a relationship.
When she opened up to me, she said: 1)She cares about me a lot,2)thinks about me a lot,3)can only open up fully to me (no one else), also told me many personal stuff from her past 4)really enjoys spending time with me (one on one),5)she only wants to txt me at certain times,i.e after a long day/travelling home,very personalized txt e.g. says how she’s feeling. When I told her I felt the same (as above), she said she don't see me in that way and nothing more would happen! When I asked why we’re not together she could not say why. She also apologised for a fling she had with a lad bck home and she didn’t mean to hurt me.
2006-11-01 21:07:52 · update #1
She now thinks that I started dating a girl and she practicaly ignored me, but has finally got back in touch after I txt her how much I miss her,thinking of her and we’ll always remain in touch-was this jealousy or just a coincidence? My behaviour has not changed towards her at all and I'm not actually dating anyone. Also when I joked she had a new boyfriend she shouted down the phone "what f**king boyfriend!there's no one, I wish I had one,f**king hell". Why'd she get so angry?
I can accept friendship, but why can’t I mention other girls to her seeing we’re only friends?Why does she get jealous? Does she have feelings for me or is she a c**k tease? Using me? Surely everything is there,no? Says she wants a boyfriend,it feels like I’m him at certain times!
Help,what she see this as?-what’s her game?
She's not a psyco, cares about others and has been numerous times that she's too kind/nice to others
2006-11-01 21:08:09 · update #2
Dear :
She is not a psyco nor is she a c***k tease!Nor is she playing you!
From my point of view it seems that this girl really loves you and wants you forever in her life!Because of the fact that she never had a relationship before she is scared that if She goes to the next level with you then she might lose you and your friendship!
It is so hard for girls to find a best friend in the guy they love and most often when a girl spends most of her time with a boy she considers her friend she grows to love him very strongly!
She doesnot advice and like hearing about other girls because she loves you and she doesnot want anyone to take you away from her!
You will want to know then why does she not get into a relationship with you, and why she apologises and says there can be no relationship!
This girl loves you soo much that she is afraid that you will turn her away or just get fedup of her!Maybe she knows your history with other girls and she is afraid to end up like them!
Sit down with her and confess your love and tell her that you will always be her best friend and lover if she wishes it!
Make it clear that if ahe does not want you then if another girl comes along you will have no choice as you cannot remain single for ever-but do this gently!
Just make her known that your outings and fun will not stop if the two of you become lovers!
You see, most times when a woman enters a relationship the fun she had before with the guy is gone!Thats what she is afraid of!Just reassure her that lovers doesnot mean the elimination of fun!
Goodluck and dodnot hurt her for it seems that you will never find a girl that loves you as mush as her!
Love SANAM
2006-11-01 21:24:48 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You already know this... she is very close to you as a friend, AND on a more intimate level.
She does feel jealousy and is hurt by the thought of not having you, but at the same time, is probably scared of what the cost could be if it went wrong. Some people live for YEARS with these untouchable, secret feelings.
Ask her on a date.... tell her you DO like her, treat her as someone very special so that she can see you think of her as more than 'just' a friend. It really is better to take a chance and experience love than to always wonder what might have been. An enduring friendship will survive if there isn't anything else in it.
2006-11-01 21:22:53 · answer #2 · answered by miz Destiny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She might be afraid to admit her feelings or to take the step that will lead to a committment. You did say she hasn't had a boyfriend before so maybe she's unsure and afraid of what will happen.
You've tried talking to her and it obviously hasnt worked. I would say try to persuade her by other means i.e. show her what a great boyfriend you would make without actually mentioning the subject again, so buy her flowers etc. Hopefully she will soon admit her true feelings.
2006-11-01 21:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you had me feeling all sad for you right up til the phrase 'c**k tease' you are obviously quite a frustrated guy over this and no woman likes to be called that unless in a saucy moment with her beloved...its not nice...
i think she sounds quite confused and to be honest you can love someone and wish that you could be together on another level but it just doesnt kick in physically for you so ts no good but it doesnt stop the emotonal feelings...i think your best option would be to sit her down without pressuring her and just tell her that you like her but she has said that she isnt interested in that kind of relationship and you respect that but if thats the case then you would like her to accept that you do have needs and wishes of your own and that she has to allow you the space and respect of still being you friend if you see other women ...if she doesnt want to talk write her a letter and give it to her saying that you know he doesnt like to talk so would she read the letter and come back to you to talk or give you a letter back in response...hope this helps but make sure you keep that frustration under wraps...its not attractive...;0)
2006-11-01 21:17:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so I'm not a girl....
It sounds to me that she cares for you deeply - as a friend. Jealousy happens, even in a platonic relationship; she may be worried that you won't want to see her any more if you start seeing someone else.
You obviously want to be more than friends. Ask her. If she says no, then you still have a very good friend and at least you know where you stand.
2006-11-01 21:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by Mad Professor 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hi. i dont know why you got thumbs down. anyway she sounds scared of ruining anything you have got as friends and when you are in a relationship it goes much further and she may be frightened it could turn sour halfway down the line and losing your friendship and love altogether so she sounds confused about what she wants from you and ive no doubt this girl is crazy for you she just dont know what to do about it thats why she changes the topic. my advice tell her you know shes tryin to change the subject but tell her life is too short and if you dont give it a go then you will always be the buts if's and maybes.
2006-11-01 21:15:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
this girl obviously feels a great deal for u. but it is obviously scared of ruining the bond and friendship the two of you have built up. she just needs lots of time to realise if ya want something in life there are usually risks. if you can reassure this girl that you think the world of her and that no matter what you will always be friends and you will always be there for her then given time she will realise you are worth the risk, as you have waited patiently untill she is ready to move forward. hope all goes well mate.
2006-11-01 21:25:04 · answer #7 · answered by truebrit 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like she does really have very deep feelings for you, but wont admit it for whatever reason. She may be scared of losing you if it all goes wrong. Bear with it and i'm sure in time you'll get together. Dont mention other girls to her as it only makes her jealous.
2006-11-01 21:27:13 · answer #8 · answered by heleneaustin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this is easy for me to say, but why cant you just ask her out on a date. Tell her how you feel about her. Maybe she feels the saame as you but is too scared to tell you in case you dont feel anything but friendship for her.
This is a very difficult situation but unless you tell her how you feel you will not be able to move on with your life , if she genuinely doesnt want you as her boyfriend..
Good luck and I hope it all works out the way you want it too.
2006-11-01 21:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you have been manupilated by a woman who doesn't find you sexually appealing and cannot see herself with you but yet she wants you single just in case. Never ever waste time on someone who will not make it obvious that she wants to be *more* than friends. Let her go, experience your life and if she gets jealous about it she isn't worth keeping as a friend. Friends don't do that to one another.
2006-11-01 21:20:28 · answer #10 · answered by Craiova 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋