Is there anyone who is support an adult child with a mental disorder?

Question

I have tried to support my adult son (24) for years. Sometimes I think I need the help. We have had a bad episode this week with compulsive buying. I try so hard to help him with a budget but he is in so much debt. When he gets in a down time he is compulsed to buy something to cheer him up, but it is usually something very expensive. I'm talking 100's dollars. We had a big argument last night because of my frustration so he went out and got really drunk and did drugs. His psychiatrist said that I have to stay calm in these situations and not agravate him I feel like s---.
I love him and only want to do what is best. Any advice. I need help to save my son.

Answer 1

i don't mean to be cruel, but it sounds like you have done your very best and he has u wrapped around his finger if he has a mental disorder, what u are looking at is maybe not his disorder , but simply bad behavior i know parents who are in the same position you are, because i was in mental health work for years it sounds as he is holding you hostage and making you feel responsible for his life you are NOT he is he needs to leave home if you feel he does not have the skills, talk to the psychiatrist hopefully their is a agency in your area that can help him with housing, financing, support and monitoring your also could seek out a support group for yourself he needs to take responsibility for his life not you i have "rescued' many parents from their children the first part, can be difficult, he probably might make you feel guilty, resist you, after all he has it made at home, but in the long run, it is better for him and better for you i also question were this money is coming from if he has a disability pension, then their are laws requarding how peope handle their money, although that should be the last resort , as that action, can put a big wedge between you and him hope this helps, i feel for you good luck p. s. all the above answers are good

Answer 2

Is he mentally challenged or is his problem compulsive buying, drugs and alcohol addiction? Sounds like he is spoiled rotten. Forget the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist wants your child just where he is in life so he can get paid for the therapy. KICK HIM OUT!!! He is old enough to take care of himself. Even birds (with bird brains) push their young out of the nest. You sound like so many I have seen that hold their child back by trying to help them when they just further the child's dependence on others. I have a friend that kicked her daughter out after her daughter maxed out her credit cards. The daughter had to go to a homeless shelter. The daughter figured it out and is supporting herself now. She stabbed her mother in the back but the mother knew what to do and didn't put up with it. You have done your part now it is time for the sparrow to leave the nest. I also know a friend that has a son that has been a parasite since he was your son's age and now the son is 33 living at home sneaking around using heroin and is into child porno. They will find him dead eventually. Your son is a manipulator and will use you till you are a dried shell. KICK HIM OUT! NOW. RIGHT THIS SECOND. WAKE HIS SORRY ASS UP AND SHOW HIM THE DOOR. You will feel better and he will sink or swim. He is going to use drugs and alcohol either way so you have no control over that. Don't help him with one penny. He will figure it out. SOMETIMES LOVE IS KNOWING WHEN TO LET GO.

Answer 3

I am actually in agreement with Louis here. And I should be sympathising with your son since I too suffer from mental disorders!
For some reason though this does not sound like your classic case of someone with problems. He obviously knows what he is doing.
You guys had an argument and he went out and got drunk and did drugs? That right there tells me that he is playing mind games with you and trying to milk you for everything you are worth.
Obviously he has problems managing his money but, without actually seeing firsthand his life and relationships, you may be helping to contribute to his problems.
If someone always knows that old mom is going to be there to bail them out then they will keep abusing that situation.
I think it is time to let him go as well. He needs a dose of reality. A dose of "tough love".
He will eventually thank you in the long run.

Answer 4

Have you found a support group? I promise, there is one out there for you. Ask your mental heath provider to give you a list. I was in Ala-non for years, it was the best low cost therapy (usually a $1.00 donation is requested) and I made life long friends who did not judge me, but supported me. I know that feeling of being so alone in a situation, you really do need to find a support group or you will loose your mind trying to deal with this.

Answer 5

specific i might. yet permit me clarify what that relatively skill. The APA is attempting (fairly rightly) to make sparkling the line between being "different" and being "sick". Paraphilias have been in the previous all considered problems. in spite of the undeniable fact that, to be clinically determined with them, it had to reason some sort of impairment OR *harm to somebody else*. So by skill of that definition a individual who has sexual concepts approximately babies all of the time, yet would not act on them, and is no longer stricken by skill of it... isn't a pedophile. Likewise a guy who clothing up in women people's clothing, and is very pleased with that... isn't a transvestite. Does that make experience? No. And the APA is of an identical opinion. yet on the different hand by skill of their definition, in case you call a guy who enjoys dressing in women people's clothing a transvestite, you're saying he's mentally sick. Which additionally would not make experience, it relatively is basically a quirk, not extra volatile than accumulating stamps. So the answer, is to cut up the definitions in 2. there will be paraphilias and paraphilic problems. Paraphilias will basically require the difficulty-unfastened standards, including a guy dressing in womens clothing, or specific an person fantasizing approximately little babies. consequently they are in a position to formally be called a transvestite and a pedophile respectively. yet to qualify for the illness it has to reason some style of injury the two to the affected person or somebody else. of course if a pedophile molests a gaggle of babies, that qualifies. So specific, technically pedophilia might no longer be a illness. "Pedophilic illness", may well be a illness, and function fantastically plenty an identical technical meaning that "pedophilia" has now.

Answer 6

You should get the help of those who are in a similar predicament as you. The National Alliance on Mental Illness, NAMI has a program called "Family to Family" that can be of great assistance. It can teach you how to manage yourself, deal with your child, and it provides peers who have been there and done that and can help you fix what you can and let be what you cannot.

Answer 7

Get power of attorney over his money, If he is getting SSI,
you can do that, by his mental disorder of spending,

If you have the money, then you have control, if he has the money he has the control, It doesn’t sound like he is to mental, if he can get mad leave and get a drink or find drugs, that takes thinking, if he can do that, he do money.

Work with him on his spending, put price tags on your stuff, give him beans for money, tell him you want to play the spending game, he can buy anything in the house with his beans, but he has to not pick up the item just the price tag, then he has to come to you and pay,
Then tell him he has to pay for food, price some items in the cupboards and fridge,
now he has to pay for gas, in the car, make sure he never has the beans to pay for everythingniin,
then ask him now what, your out of beans, how do we get more?
What should we do, its called training, re Tran him, to think.
Take him to the store, no money every penny at home, you take paper, and note pad, calculator, price game, how much,
then you go home and price game, how much do you have,
now are you happy your broke?
training on money, can be fun, if no money is present.
You can tell him I want to try a new game of money with you, only you cant spend real money, when we go to the store, your money has to stay here, its a game, do you want to play?
Value has to come into play, once you get him to see the beans and how much each one has value, then that penny will too.
If he is 24, and money causes behaviors, that is not cool.
re training on the value, he is not to old to train, but you have to get in control of his money. Become his payee.
Then train him, and tell him once you get how much is what, then you can have it all back.
If he continues, take the items back to the store,
If he buys compulsive, take it back, talk to the manager, tell them he has a menial disorder, and get the money back.
You do not want to cause problems, but if he knows how to drink and by drugs, he know what he is doing.
You have to be mom, and re train his thinking. And not let him get away with it.
Make him give you the receipt, then take him and the item back. If he goes into a behavior, let him. Tell him to do it in his bed room, and he can come out calm and then you will take it. Its the behavior you work on. Its not appropriate for a 24 year old man to have behaviors, over money. Its time to be responsible. Its time to grow up, and take responsibility.
Get him into a work program, ARC, find a fitting work field, they have goals for them to work on, they can help you with this.
Hes not to old for a work program. They are the pro. They will work on his behaviors with you, Its ok to work, if he has a job, that’s great, but find something for him to get interested in, a hobby, but not spending money.
Good luck hon