My friends stopped hangging out with me cause they believe they don't getting any attention when Im around.. I found out that a bit too late.. I didn't know for so long... I thought they were my friends.. but i guess i was wrong.. Yes it bothers me alot..
If Im told that im so pretty than why on Earth Am I still single.. Ooops I think I know why after all .. I suppose i think too much of my self ... for so long i believed no one is good enough for me so i rejected every guy who asked me out.. I been doing alot of thinking lately too why i feel miserable and lonely after all.. And the answer to my question was i can't let go of the past.. I still can't forgive my father for leaving us.. So hoestly im scared to trust any one and let go of my past..
Since i know what my problem do i still need to see a shrink to help me get peace?? By the way Im 32
2006-11-01 19:36:19 · 11 answers · asked by julia1975 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hey who do u need protection from ... god this earth can use ppl like u around to help others too ...
well u know what ur prob is is always the first step towards a solution .... i know u have a tendancy to closely notice ppl .. well it is a good thing but in ur case its working against u ... to change ur position now u gotta look what ppl do instinctively thats helping u ... even the smallest things ... anyhting that they do that makes ur life better or easier ... and not what they do that makes it hell ... u r old enough to protect urself from bad stuff but u are over protective to an extent that u filter the good stuff ... well world is a harsh place but that doesnt mean caring ppl dont exist anymore ... just be open to ur senses ... give everyone a chance ... and most important ... trust ur instincts ....
regarding seeing a shrink .. i say u just attend some feel good conventions and stuff ... ur not in such a bad state that u think ...
being single is good too ....
:) ... hope i helped ...
2006-11-01 19:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by Yash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think subconsciously you are afraid of encountering someone who is like your father. I also think that because your father walked out on you when you were a little girl, you lost that control, and so you are trying to gain it back by blaintantly rejecting others so as to reclaim that control. The problem with that is, it's hurting you in the long run because you are not really dealing with the issue....you are in actual fact just masking it. I understand all too well what the past can do to someone (being an incest survivor myself) but in order to get through the present, you need to confront the past. You need to continue going to a thearapist, and you need to sort out all the issues you have and address each one. Soon you will realise that you are in control of your life, that what happen to you when you were younger was not your fault, that you are loveable, and worthy of being loved, and not everyone that you love and who loves you is going to leave you. Most importantly these men are not your father, and the best way to get back at your father is through your own happiness. Don't be victim to what he did. Don't let him have that power over you. You don't have to trust everyone you come by, after all trust is earned, and once it's broken, it's hard to put back together. But the good news is, is that it can be done. Instead of feeling like you have to trust who it is that you are seeing, why not make an agreement with yourself and the little girl inside you that you will be willing to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and allow them time to earn your trust. If you find that they are not doing that, then by all means move one to someone else who is. But I certainly do suggest strongly talking to a therapist you need to get past this issue before you can truly move on and pursue your happiness that awaits you.
All the best to you!
2006-11-02 03:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by safireblu64 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to work on two issues:
1- You see yourself not worthy to anyone. A classic case if you are so pretty and successful.
2-Trust. you can't be in a real relationship if you don't trust the other party.
it's really worthwhile to see a shrink... that is my opinion.
Take care
2006-11-02 03:50:54 · answer #3 · answered by A.G.H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because you know the problem doesn't mean you know the correct healthy routes to take to make your life better, and to get past this issue you have. Seek a shrink. even if just for a few visits... it will help you get on the right path....
2006-11-02 03:40:51 · answer #4 · answered by next.... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe with your heart change- some will get to know the new you- counseling would not hurt-if your issues are resolved you don't need one- You can forgive your father- and that does not mean what he did was right= not forgiving him only hurts yourself- it is like drinking poison and expecting him to die- D
2006-11-02 03:41:16 · answer #5 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clinging on to the past is not good.
I think with your looks if you add bit more of positive attitude it would be alright.
mentor.mn@gmail.com
2006-11-02 03:43:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since u r so beautiful, u would always get noticed wherever u go with any of ur bf.
however, if u r good with ur bf, he would understand this and would love to be with u.
2006-11-02 03:43:53 · answer #7 · answered by Kumar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry 4 u. try to get good friends that won't scare u anymore and try to be happy with them.
2006-11-02 03:39:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
T H E R A P H Y
2006-11-02 03:43:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you can work it out yourself ---- get out and enjoy life -- someone will come and you will wonder what has hit you
2006-11-02 03:55:29 · answer #10 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋