We are in this relationship for the past Ten years and we are getting married shortly.We are indians and believe a lot in relationships,I dont want to loose him but I get hurt when he does not allow me to talk someone because I am a fun-loving person.
Recently he was very upset because I was talking frequently about my colleague. Please let me know how to handle the situation.Plese let me know how to go about it.
2006-11-01 19:25:25 · 15 answers · asked by Veena d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
POssessiveness only comes from love.ur bf is of the type who needs constant attention and cant share his space with others.Whne u talk to him about others he might feel lost and fear losing his importance in ur life and someone else taking prominence.U need to assure him upfront that he means everything to u and that is why ur getting married to him.Tell him he comes first and evrythign else later.Having said that also tell me that as he loves u he should have faith in u and his love for u..it will stand the test of time.
Tell him that ur ppl friendly nature is not sign of any cheating or he losing imprtance.Its just taht u wan to get to knwo more ppl and have fun guys or girls.When u say this he will definately chance for a few days and if this change persists fine..else u need to know if u should marry him.
I am talking from my experience,i myself have been a compulsive posseeive guy and I have ruined most of my relationships out of teh fear of losing where there want anything to fear and yes i buy the possessive ppl getting violent later theory.Thye feel someone else treading their territory and taht makes them violent and defensive.Each one of us have this tendency some have it just a lil more,which could be dangerous at times.U never knwo he could be his own vicrtim,thoug he realises he might not be abel to change himself.All the best.
2006-11-01 19:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by siddharthmalhotra2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word is lose, L O S E! Lose, not loose. What the hell happened to our society! It's become freakin' illiterate!
Indian, cowboy, fireman, baker, candlestick maker, it doesn't matter; no woman should stay with a possessive man. Ever!
You are asking for a life of suspicion, antagonism, harrassment, and oppression, and maybe even violence. Get out while you can! Of course, you won't, but you've been warned.
2006-11-01 19:32:24 · answer #2 · answered by OU812 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My brother is like this to all his girlfriends. The best thing to do, is just go outside, talk to people. he may get mad at first; but explain to him that you refuse to be joined at the hip to him. Ask him if he trusts you. if he says yes; ask why he doesnt let you talk to people. He is insecure; that is the only reason he is being this way. The only way to break him out of it, is make him realize that if he wants to keep you, he needs to let you make friends and go out every once in a while.
2006-11-01 19:29:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
With respect to the Indian culture, you have a control freak -- as we say in English slang. It will only get worse. After you're married, he will put all of his insecurities off on you by controlling every move. He will own your mind and your vagina. I'd think twice about wasting my life like that.
2006-11-01 19:30:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
girlfriend, has he always been like this? if you have put up with it for ten years then you might as well stick it out for the long run. maybe you can talk him into counseling. be cautious. he's giving you warning signs but you are choosing to ignore him because you "love" him. love is also about respect and he obviously is lacking. you have to decide if you want to be happy or miserable for the rest of your life.
2006-11-01 19:35:05 · answer #5 · answered by sweettee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you marry him you will never be able to have friends. Explain to him that you love him and could forever be faithful to him but that you need to have friends. No friends, No relationship with him. It may make him angry but you need to see that side of him before you become his wife. He wants total control. You will never be happy that way and you can not change him. If he loves you and wants to keep you, He may make some changes himself but it wont be easy for him. If he isn't interested in making changes, Drop him. You cant live that way and be happy.
2006-11-01 19:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by kstfas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO you really want to live the rest of your life like this? I hope not, please don't marry him. I know 10 years its a lot, but your happiness is jeapordized and that is not alright. Men don't change. Maybe you shoudl get with your colleague if he is single. Good luck!
2006-11-01 19:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by Junia Z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg are you serious.. 10 years and hes acting like a teen?? cmon grow up!! is what you need to tell him.. if he doesnt trust you then maybe hes the wrong guy for you... after all it sounds like he has you in a prison!! also, hes not letting you be you!! how can this guy say he loves you when hes making you unhappy... you make him happy so why cant he do the same for you??
2006-11-01 19:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by c t 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get professional help together. This is not a normal healthy relationship.
2006-11-01 20:50:10 · answer #9 · answered by foghat77 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun you need to talk to him, because often things like this turn into abuse relationships. if he doesnt start respecting you are a free women, then leave him
2006-11-01 19:41:49 · answer #10 · answered by Deziix33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋