Shall I continue these habits of mine when I encounter my girl friend???

Question

I am a college student, and have a girl friend. And these are my habits to my girl friend.

1. When I see her carrying a heavy-looking or big bag pack, I cannot help myself, I take away her bag, and carry it for her.

Her response: She feels rather embarrassed.


2. When it's raining and we both didn't bring umbrellas, I run to my car and bring umbrella to her.

Her response: She feels awkward.


3. Whenever she looks cold, I take off my jacket no matter how cold it is and give it to her.

Her response: she feels embarrassed.



I consider these habits good, but her responses are rather negative. Shall I stop doing these??

Answer 1

Depends on whether you are doing these "things" for her or for yourself - which? This can be a good indicator of a girl, who is not receptive to, acts of love [compassion] too ! A functional relationship is comprised of both, "give and take". Are you doing all the "giving" and her all the "taking" or is it counter-balanced? Self-centeredness will destroy any relationship in the long run.

Answer 2

It's okay to do these things sometimes but, she may feel as if you are treating her like she's weak, fragile or unable to take care of herself. Personally, I would find this behavour annoying unless it's very occasional then it would be sweet but, women can get a little wet or cold and even open doors for themselves and carry heavy bags. Next time ask her first before rushing off or giving her jacket.

Answer 3

Maybe she's just not used to these courtesies. You should continue to do these things, but be low-key about it so she doesn't feel that you're treating her like a child or making a big deal out of things.

(they ARE great habits!) :)

Answer 4

talk to her. Explain that you were taught that these are things that someone does because they are a gentleman. It's a kind gesture, one that is not as common as it was 20-50 years ago. She may not have ever had anyone treat her like she was cherished before. things like this aren't done because we (women) CAN"T do them, they are done so we don't HAVE to do them. It's sweet. It's kind. It's old fashioned, but in a good way. I enjoy having a door held for me, I like having my husband offer me his jacket if I'm cold. it means he cares.

Answer 5

No, of course not. These are very kind things to do, and she obviously isn't used to them. Give her time, and soon these habits will fade away and she will feel more relaxed when you do these things. Of course, this is what I think. I am be wrong, but still, it is very kind of you.

Answer 6

Consider stopping until you find out why this bothers her.
I think it is a bit strange, talk to her about it.
Just doesn't seem like the normal response.
Good Luck

Answer 7

Dump her. For a college man you are quite considerate and treat women well. Women like this are woman libbers, avoid like the plague. Their empty philosophy leads to unhappy couples. You cannot please this type.

P. S. Take a few more English classes.

Answer 8

I. your such a sweet guy
2. your so in love
3. she's lucky to have you

what else you need?? i dont know what to say about your gf. there's no reason for her to be responding such way. if i were to be in her shoes, i think my heart would smile everytime you do these things.she doesn't know you much,i think.and she's not interested with the way you are? why must you change? yo did for her good,if she cant take it-then that's her problem.

Answer 9

No there are too few gentlemen left in this world, I am as liberated as the nest woman, but I appreciate human courtesy

Answer 10

Keep being a gentleman and hopefully she will figure it out soon enough- she does not realize your kindness and consideration- too bad! D