Ok so last night I was at a halloween party and I passed out later that night. My ex bf (now a good friend) ended up having sex with me while i was asleep. I dont wanna call it rape because I have had sex with him in the past. He swore he was sorry and he just had too much to drink and missed me. What should I do?
2006-11-01 17:32:24 · 34 answers · asked by Amanda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just because you've had sex with him in the past doesn't mean it's not rape. I've heard of husband's raping their wives! Anything that's not consensual is rape.
Obviously you're bothered by this or you wouldn't be asking what to do. There's only 2 things you can do, press charges or leave it alone.
2006-11-01 17:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by Ersabette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was non-consentual sex....aka RAPE. Rape does not have to be brutal, or be with someone of whom you've never slept with, or who you don't know. Rape is when something you have not consented to, is done against your will, which is exactly what your situation was last night. I would stay away from your ex boyfriend. Because he knew what he was doing, and he wasn't respecting you, but instead taking advantage of you and the situation. I know this because he knew he had too much to drink, but not only that , justified it with he " missed" you. If he really did have too much to drink, he would have not had much if at all any recollection of what went on. I would talk to him, and tell him how you feel, and then I would watch where you hang out especially if he's going to be around. And if he does it again, report him.
2006-11-01 20:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by safireblu64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't mind why the ? You should give up drinking if nothing else. You obviously can not handle it. Get a std test too. Oh by the way that is a lame excuse. You know darn well you knew it was happening. Drunk or not everyone does. Don't feel guilty now. If he didnt force you it is not rape. Rape is a strong word. Harder to prove. Pretty wicked of you to say this about this guy. Pretty stupid to think anyone would believe that story too! Grow up or are you 12?
2006-11-01 17:42:33 · answer #3 · answered by FIRE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only true answer is the one that you keep asking yourself? You may have had relations before but just for him to say that he was drunk is not right, however, if you consented that ya'll have sex then there is no one to blame but your self just being honest. I mean how deep of a sleep were you in if you say that you were asleep while it happened, you are saying that you were asleep the whole time, kind of hard to believe. If it makes you feel upset and uncomftorable I would tell someone if you llook at it as casual then dont worry, just trust yourself to do what is right.
2006-11-01 17:38:38 · answer #4 · answered by devildog75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he left any bruises on you that means you was resisting and that would mean rape. The fact that you do not want to call it rape means you still care about him. Unless you are injured or have a unwanted pregnancy, you should not make a big fuss about it. He was a honest man for telling you the truth at least. File a lawsuit or not considering my advice.
2006-11-01 17:37:04 · answer #5 · answered by Mike T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you still like him and you don't mind having sex with him then candidly reexamine the nature of your relationship.
If you are upset and you feel violated which most people would be then it is a sign he has no respect for you. There is a saying from Africa that even a drunk person cannot slaughter a dog!
2006-11-01 17:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by TJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, you sound like you are in the right company. Keep passing out, you may find a new boyfriend along with an STD. Good Luck in finding the Father.
2006-11-01 17:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you couldnt say yes or no then its rape...just because you know him doesnt make it ok..he told you he was sorry because he knew it was wrong that he violated your body like that when you were unconscious and thats not right either...you need to report it ...he should learn how to respect women just because you are unconscious doesnt make it ok for him to penetrate you like that you should be able to say yes or no. See, men think that its ok to continue when you said no they think its a no but you really mean yes...when a grl says no it means no and if a grl is knocked out just bring her a blanket and a pillow...what an ***....
2006-11-01 17:44:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know what is the problem inside your statement you said you cant consider it as rape and all because you were used to having sex with him
if you had sex with him that night without your consent then that is rape at that very moment
but if you feel like it is just fine with you there is no grounds for rape
2006-11-01 17:36:23 · answer #9 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is rape. However it was your fault for passing out at the party. You should not tell anyone and hide your secret shame.
Hope that helped :)
2006-11-01 17:34:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋