What should I do?

Question

I have been with this guy for almost four years. Two and a half years ago, he cheated on me with this woman and she is still around here and there. Two months ago, we decided to move back in together and then just a couple of weeks ago, I find out that the girl is two months pregnant. I believe that she did that to keep him. So thereafter, we had been fighting, mostly me, everyday. I had a million questions and bugged him so much with so many questions that he became angry and violent with me. We ended up having this huge fight and I kicked him out. He is now moving back to the city that we both moved from together. Now, he doesn't want to be friends with me and says that I just need to move on. I love him so much and we have been through so much, I don't understand why we have to stop now. I keep thinking that he is going to be with her and that is all that I think about, him being with her. I just don't want him to be with her. I am slowly deteriorating, I don't know what to do......

Answer 1

If that is his child, he will have to take responsibility for it whether he is with you or not. So, that is something you need to think about. Because if you two get back together, you need to think about the possibility that maybe some of his funds will be going to that child=child support. He maybe spending time with that child as well. You'll have to accept it. Do you think you'll be able to handle the fact that he cheated on you with another woman and he's fathering this child?
Another thing you need to do is try to move on with your life for right now. Maybe he just needs time to cool off. If he really loves you, he'll be back. He might just need some time away to think about things. And this will be your time to think about if you really want to be with him fathering this child with this other woman that he cheated on you with. It's not going to be easy. You may resent the child and you are going to have to learn to not hold bad feelings against the child. Things will work out. You both need your space right now. If you're meant to be together, you'll be together. If he doesn't come back, obviously you weren't meant to be together. You'll have to move on and find someone else. I know this must be hard. I hope this helped. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Why would every take back a guy that cheated on you? What the hell could he possibly have said or done to you that would make you take him back? That's mistake number 1. Do you know if the baby is even his or are you presuming? I think you should stop thinking so much about him and her and think about you. Move on and find someone you will communicate with you like a man. Well, look at this way, if the baby is his then you won't have to deal with "baby mama drama". If it turns out not to be his, then he just wanted to leave you anyway. If he really cared about you then he would have answered your questions and not ran away. In the future, don't nag a guy with so many questions cause he will run.

Answer 3

first things first, DON'T try to win him back, not even attempt to call him. You have to stop and move on. the guys a cheater, and cheaters will always be cheaters.

Stop thinking about him and how good your life was or will be with him because if you think about it (really think about it), you'll see that you were always crying (and will keep crying until your eyes dried out).

How stop thinking about him?

Just keep yourself busy.

When i broke up with my boyfriend, i was depressed i couldn't stop thinking about him. i started to drown myself in work (might as well be productive than be a fat bum). When i arrive home, i'd clean my room and do laundry. I wouldn't stop working until i'm too tired to even think of him.

When my friends want to go out, id go out with them. try to meet new people. But meeting new people doesn't mean ur looking for a new boyfriend. NO! be friendly, maybe a little flirty, but don't jump from one boat to another. These things take time, and so does a broken heart. Enjoy your singlehood, you haven't been single for 4 years. k? :)

Answer 4

He treated you like 2nd best! you should be furious with him! good job kicking him out! he deserves it!
If you come crawling back to him after he treated you so badly (in my opinion this is the worst thing to ever do to someone) he's just going to keep fooling around behind your back! would that be what you want? him sneaking off with her, taking care of thier child, still f^cking her!? are you kidding me? you deserve better! My god, how can he do that? and it's not all her fault she got pregnant, it's his too! if he wasn't f^cking her raw (without a condom) there wouldn't be any love child. this is awful, ugh. I wouldn't want anything at all ever to do with him if this was my boyfriend. I would lose his number.
see, you're just in the comfortable stage with him, you've been with him for so long that you can't remember what it's like to be single. but you cannot do this to yourself. get out there and gain some confidence! do something for yourself! you'll attract someone so much better that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, like a lady.
get over him, he doesn't sound like he's the right guy for anyone. you should be relived he's not there anymore.

Answer 5

Ok, I know you probably love this guy, except hes an ***...He sounds like a really bad person..You definitely need to move on and find someone better!! He doesn't deserve you and you deserve MUCH better!! I know the thought of them together is killing you (i am going through that feeling) but you need to surround yourself with people who REALLY care about you. This guy doesn't!! As soon as you can understand that you can do much better than him, you will feel SOOOO much better!!! I hope it all works out for you!!!

Answer 6

i think you need to ask yourself some questions:
"did i find out he was cheating on me, or did he confess?"
"if he confessed, how sincere did he seem?"
"did he ever say that he was sorry?
"did he ever tell her that he loved her (that you know of)?"
"why did i kick him out?"
"do i really want to pursue this relationship, or do i just not want her to have him?"
"if i didn't know she was pregnant, would i still want to be with him?"
"does she live in the city we moved from (that you know of)?"
"did he hit me or verbally abuse me?"

i know it's a lot of questions to think about, but you do need to think about some of them. you weren't clear when you said he was violent: did he hit you? if so, let him go. no cheating man is worth potentially losing your life over. also, why did you kick him out? the reasons you did then probably still haven't changed, and if so, here's the root of the matter. you feel like you wasted all 4 years with this guy who ended up cheating on you. she still had the nerve to come around, and if you ever forgave him of it, you still let him treat you like a doormat by letting her around. you had a million questions for him because you were incredulous and couldn't believe that she was 2 months pregnant, you're assuming, with his child. the anger that had built up finally let loose one night and you kicked him out. whatever anger you had was probably an overreaction, but nonetheless, you had to get angry enough to kick him out. if you wanted him, at any point in the argument, you could have cooled it down and spoken to him calmly about it. but because you instead chose to kick him to the curb, i'm assuming that you really did mean it, and no longer wanted him in your life. if this is true, then, the only reason you're as heartbroken as you are now is because that OTHER WOMAN may have him in her arms right now. but when you kicked him out, at least in his mind, you ended the relationship. there's no way to change that. jealousy spurs many emotions on, and maybe you should rethink whether you really do love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him, or whether you just don't want that girl to have him. if you just don't want that girl to have him, as he said, you just need to move on. there is really nothing you can do now to stop him from being with her, regardless of what a jerk he is if they are together. right now, stop focusing on her... stop focusing on him. just think about what you need to do to become a better person. he was and is very wrong for having cheated on you, and there's nothing that you did to make him do that. but there's only one person that you can have a positive change on, and that's yourself. forget about the drama that's been dished to you in life, and focus on being a positive, wonderful person. if you do that, GREAT guys (read: guys who won't cheat) will be knocking on your door before too long!

Answer 7

Please listen! You are obsessing about this guy and the pregnant girl. He doesn't love you and that is a good thing! People who love you make good healthy choices that make your life happy and harmonious, not sad and upset. He has his own problems and issues to deal with, just let him go and take care of his stuff. You will be a good mans wife someday but for now heal from your heartache and grow up some more. Recognize that this is your oppertunity for life and experience and adventure, so take it as far as you can. Be happy for yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

There are billions of other people in the world. You could always pick one. Juts think about it. Maybe you're better off with someone else. You may also try PrivateDateFinder. That's where I met my husband. Check out this site http://www.upkb.com/privatedatefinder.php

Answer 9

Don't worry so much about him being with her. He will probably cheat on her too. Men like that usually do.
Move on, find somebody honest and decent who respects you .
Why do you love somebody who cheats, gets another woman pregnant, then gets violent with you?
Just be happy he didn't get you pregnant too.

Answer 10

Dump him? If he can't stay true, then it's a waste of time. I've learned so much from my awful experience, so believe me when I say that it's for your own good. Also, check out his site http://www.upkb.com/singlesnet.php for SinglesNet Dating. There obviously are more people worthy of your love.