am i insecure with my sister?

Question

my sister is beautiful she has a lot of admirers, and i really get pissed if this admirers start befriending me so they cud ask things about her, i feel used, they try to impress me just so i could become their way of connecting with her,
but i refuse to do so, if they just talk to me and want to be friends with me just because of my sister i usually get mad and dont talk to them or answer them in anyway
first because my sister is too young to have any boyfriend i dont want them fooling her, she has a gentle heart, and is easy to fool i dont want her to get pregnant, or her heart get broken, so i dont want to help any suitor of her to get to her
do you think at some point i am insecure
because if a guy likes me and will see my sister i start to hate the guy and not call anymore, i make it a point that if they want her they cant have me anymore, they can no longer call me or anything,& at some point i will just choose to not have any boyfriend at all and let my sister have them all

Answer 1

At the top of this all, you are being a responsible big sister who wants to protect her little sister from guys who just want to prey on her because she is pretty. In the middle of this all, you get annoyed at the fact that most of the guys that befriend you are just actually wanting to get to your sister. It's natural for you to react that way. It's natural for you to want to be appreciated not because of your sister, but because of who you are. It's natural for you to want your own share of attention, and finally, it's natural for you to feel disrespected, and used, because guys are 'using' you to get to your beautiful sister. At the bottom of this all, you do have insecurities, of course, because you feel that your sister is prettier than you, and that she is getting all the attention, and people don't even stop to think about how you feel.

I don't think you must be very ugly. If you have a very pretty sister, then it means you can't look that bad, right? You do share the same blood! Maybe she's pretty and charming at the same time?

I have a cousin who has always, always been jealous of me. Whenever she had boyfriends, they'd fall for me after meeting me. In fact, she would reach a point where she told me "Ok, if he falls for you after seeing you, it's not going to bother me." And I was still so young at that time, I didn't even understand why she was acting like that. But now I understand that she was just jealous of me. As a result of her jealousy, she became very mean and resentful towards me, and ruined not only our relationship as cousins, but my mother's relationship with her dad, and my relationship with her siblings.

Please, don't allow your jealousy to eat away at your relationship with your sister. Accept what you have. Accept what she has. Be happy for her, if you really love her. There are guys that will suit you. Look for guys that are in your league, and let the guys in your sister's league, get together with her. Don't covet what's not meant to be for you. But be happy with what you have.

Answer 2

If you really think that you want to protect your sis from all those dirty mind guys then this is the very good opportunity for you to know them first even before they know much about your sis.. because as you have said that they approach you to know more about you so you can take an advantage of it and handle them specially who are not suitable for your sis..

Yea, this situation is not comfortable for any human being that some people make friendship with him/her just to reach to someone else.. and it is also possible that you may like someone out of them who is interested in your sis and it is going to be a blow for you..

So either keep them away by your behavioural signals and let your sister take on her own decision about those guys.. I am sure everyone has his sixth sense and your sis must have her own too.. so dont worry she will tackle them and stop those guys to play with your emotions...

Good Luck...

Answer 3

There are billions of other people in the world. You could always pick one. Just think about it. Maybe you're better off with someone else. You may also try SinglesNet Dating. That's where I met my husband. So, check out this site http://www.upkb.com/singlesnet.php and keep an open mind.

Answer 4

You're obviously not doing yourself a favor! You have low self-esteem. Try to find a man for yourself. Boost your confidence by joining SinglesNet Dating. People you'll meet through this site http://www.upkb.com/singlesnet.php will love you for who you are and not for your sister.