is change that bad or should you stay the same-relationship wise?

Question

okay. so lately, for the past year or so i have been changing for good and other times for the not so good. i had my family,friends and bf tell me that they wanted the person they once knew back. all i could do was sit and cry and think that im screwing up...well, today i had trouble with my laptop being down and my bf went away for a day or two to his home-we attend the same university., so i had no one to help me and lots of stress building up. when he was trying to walk me through it i did not want tng to solve what was wrong with my laptop but rather wait until my bf would get back so he would do it.that is when he told me that i am not the girl he thought i was because i did not at least try and just wanted to give up which is so unlike me. that made me challenge myself and with his help i fixed my laptop. the only thing is that he told me that he does not think that i have changed for the better in the past year or so which sort of hurts. i always said that i wanted to learn but.

i always said that i wanted to learn new things yet tonight's actions contradicted my words. i am the kind of person who never gives up but wanted to tonight. have i changed into this whole other person that there is no hope of who i once was to re-emerge? i think that change is good both ways but when you hear it from 3 sources that you have changed dramatically that makes you think and say "what the heck is going on with me? am i trying to be 25 when i am just 22? or am i just putting too much pressure upon myself?" when do you draw a line and when do you pretend that what your bf had to say does not matter or that you are the same person?

Answer 1

Sounds like he isn't very patient with you. Why would you want to change yourself for someone else? That doesn't make sense. You will be acting like someone your not and if you think your not happy now, just try doing that! You both go to the same Uni and there is alot of eye candy there. Try something else, instead of calling him when something breaks down, ask a friend and find someone on campus that can help in the Computer Lab. Step out alittle and experiment with independence! And what he said, hurt you and that should be a clue that maybe he feels differently about your relationship. Don't change for others, continue to be yourself.

Answer 2

Before you drag everyone else into your life, just sit down with a cup of coffee(I'm serious) and take a long look at what cause the change. Was it college, a guy or family problems? Everyone hits a time in their life where they change and it can be good or bad. When others notice and complain about it then it's usually a bad change. And don't cry when you don't succeed in something, cry when you do succeed. The feeling is so much more rewarding. You'll figure it out. Never be the person you were to please other people, just be the best person you can be to please yourself. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

You only need to change for yourself and no one else. If your like me your use to your b/f always being there for you thats why you never tried to fix a problem. And maybe before him you always had your fam. to fix the problems in your life for you. Theres nothing wrong with that , they just spoiled you a lot. I relied on my b/f to fix things around the house then when he recently left for a job I relied on my oldest son so now I still don't fix my own problems you know what I mean? Theres nothing wrong with you to change he should of let you take charge a long time ago. What happen to guy's liking a damsel in distress? I guess I'm still to old fashion huh. DON'T CHANGE. And good luck

Answer 4

Sweetie, this may feel like it's an issue about change, but with only reading your words I could tell you are deeply depressed, it could be due to the stress of college life or a chemical imbalance in the brain, possibly both. Please seek therapy to find the cause. God Bless and Good Luck. (Neither is anything to be ashamed of)

Answer 5

There are billions of other people in the world. You could always pick one. Just think about it. Maybe you're better off with someone else. You may also try SinglesNet Dating. That's where I met my husband. Check out this site http://www.upkb.com/singlesnet.php

Answer 6

It happens everywhere. Change springs out of nowhere when you least expect it. So, accept it and take it as a challenge. Let go and try to move on. You may share also your dilemma and experience through SinglesNet Dating. Check out this site http://www.upkb.com/singlesnet.php and meet new people.

Answer 7

in case you desire her to cherish and love her then you definately could have the endurance to look ahead to her to verify you for who you're - no remember how long it takes. my previous courting wasn't aggravating or something yet i became cheated on and found out in a harsh way and that i became so untrusting after that. it took 9 months of endurance and tolerance on my bfs area to submit with my mistrust and thoughts. i'm so happy he did, i eventually understand what a prize I even have and how fortunate i'm and that i will love him with all of my coronary heart and soul. he says it became properly rather worth the wait. in case you in basic terms desire to have an off-the-cuff courting form courting or you do no longer understand if she is the only for you, that's particularly helpful to get out now... she in all probability won't enable down her shield for something under complete devotion.

Answer 8

You be Who you want to be. IF someone else doesnt like it SO WHAT. Tell them ill be whom i wish and too bad if you dont accept me.

Answer 9

change, 99.9% of the time is bad