My boyfriend of about a year was dumped about 2 1/2 years ago by his ex. It was a bad breakup, but he assures me that he is glad it ended. That she was crazy which I am aware of, since I used to go to college with her and we talked at parties and stuff
He compares me to her regularly, as a compliment like "Becky was so....I'm glad you are not like that." Or, I am so glad you like doing this or don't like doing that...Becky. He does this about 1-2 times a week.
Its getting old, and then tonight he took me out to a nice resturant and said "I hope you don't get upset at my saying this, but the last girl I ever took here was Becca. When we broke up I swore I would never take another girl here ever again-unless I was going to marry her."
Yeah, so its sweet and all but I am freakin fed up with it. Its ridiculous.
Also, he is so resentful at her still, he will make snide remarks about her occasionally
2006-11-01 17:08:05 · 13 answers · asked by Lashenova 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It doesn't make me cringe when I hear her name. It makes me sad. I don't hate her. I am just very unhappy with the situation and trying to figure out what I should do. It would be stupid to blame her for anything.
2006-11-01 17:22:27 · update #1
I have asked him. He knows, but thinks I am being insecure. Says that I should take it as a compliment etc. That he loves me and wants to marry me etc. I just can't take it, I'm going insane with all the mixed messages.
2006-11-01 17:29:44 · update #2
Have you expressed your disinterest in his comparing the two of you? If not, do so nicely, but blunt as well.
If you already have, then just look disgusted and explain why you hate him doing this every time he brings her up, and he'll soon figure it out. If he can't take that - well, then he's not worth it.
- j
2006-11-01 17:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by that_guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody likes being compared. It makes everything heavy to get on with. It gives burden.
Sounds like hes been trying to convince himself that being dumped by Becca was the best thing ever happened and that he should be moving on fine with you..
Tell him that it bugs you and if it still happens again,
your heart will tell you what to do next then.
At least,we could take what he said in the restaurant as a compliment :)
2006-11-02 01:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not over Becca yet. I'm sorry to say, but he might be taking you for an excuse not to cry over her. If that's the case, just break up with him. You don't have to put up with all these. Meet other people through PrivateDateFinder. There's a bunch of decent guys you'll find by browsing this site http://www.upkb.com/privatedatefinder.php
2006-11-02 02:07:11 · answer #3 · answered by ada W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to cool his jets on talking about his ex....there is a good time and a bad time to talk about her..but for you that is NEVER...lol...tell him and tell him right now...you dont appreciate and it makes you feel like you are just an experiment to him...Eventually hes gonna keep talking about her til he actually confronts her on all these things...he does have resentment towards her...i know its driving you nuts...there is like so much you can take of BECCA...you feel like you are going out with BECCA! lol thats all i know please dont get offended here...im just joking fun but i understand your problem...unfortunately i was the BECCA an exs mom couldnt get over and every grl he brings home is not me...if he loves you he will stop...i know you cringe every time you hear that name.....
2006-11-02 01:17:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your bf is not over his ex. He sounds very bitter about the break up with her. He's not being very fair to you. Have you tried talk to him about this yet? Tell him how annoying this is getting. You are your ownself and he shouldn't compare the two of you. If he continue. Than you should make up story and compare him to one of your ex than he'll know how you feel. If this still doesn't work than you need to move on...You can't be with someone who compare you to someone else for the rest of you life. By this time if he doesn't see that you two are very different than he's still in a dream.
2006-11-02 01:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are billions of other people in the world. You could always pick one. Just think about it. Maybe you're better off with someone else. You may also try SinglesNet Dating. So. check out this site http://www.upkb.com/singlesnet.ph and explore your options.
2006-11-02 04:22:39 · answer #6 · answered by alanna P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop this guy before you get too attached and before you get to that point where you won't be able to leave him. Apparently, he's still in love EX and misses her. Until he can get over it, that's totally not the right kind of relationship that you should be having.
2006-11-02 01:40:57 · answer #7 · answered by PootieThangRawr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate that being compared to anyone it sucks.
I am not that person and you dont know how I will react so just quit it!
I have had to say that to more than one person.
2006-11-02 01:12:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he hasn't move on yet and is still holding grudges from the past. you have to talk to him about it and settle things straight with him. his case is alarming girl....
2006-11-02 02:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by kish-kish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,then just tell him staright and ask him to stop it.....let him know how miserable you feel about it and also get to know why does he do this so often...its always better to talk it off and end it,good luck!!!
2006-11-02 01:24:50 · answer #10 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋