for the past 3 years i have had no income and cannot buy anything for anybody for christmas, it really hurts and it feels like i have failed my boys. i tell them i can't get them anything, not even a card, they say don't worry mom it's ok, we understand, but...i feel awful when christmas does roll around and i can't. i don't even want to celebrate or even go to where it is at. i just want to be left alone. do they REALLY understand, or are they just saying that to try to make me feel better? the reason i'm asking is cuz: i tell mom the same thing, and i live with her so she knows my financial status, and she kinda lets me know in her own twisted way that it does bother her! she'll just blurt it out in front of everyone that i can't buy any gifts (way to go mom to make me feel like crap) i know it kills me i can't, i just can't help but wonder if my boys feel the same. now that soon it will be here, again, i get very depressed & somewhat unaproachable about the whole thing.
2006-11-01 15:25:28 · 28 answers · asked by serenitie51 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I just got done reading some of the other answers shame on some of you have you ever thought it was her moms internet and computer or she is at a library??? I know what you are going thru my ex boss was in that situation. I did see some people mention the savlvation army and other charities. I tell you one thing you might want to consider is toys for tots and possibly see if your town has a shop with a cop program. (shop with a cop is something people should give money to a police officer takes donated money and takes a child out to a store to buy a christmass gift )
2006-11-01 15:43:43 · answer #1 · answered by ldygrnleaf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know my wife & I were married November 02, 1971. That 1st Christmas, we were newlyweds living on a startup budget.
Our Chrismas tree was a beat up old artificial one that my Grandmother gave us from her basement & the only decorations we had for it were the Christmas Cards that were mailed to us. Nothing else, no lights, no tinsel, just cards, but there were a lot.
I can't remember what my present to her was, but her "Big" gift to me was a pair of work socks she got at the Dollar Store that our apartment was located just above.
Since then our lives & our income have improved substantially, & we have definatly indulged each other at Christmas through the subsequent years. But I still look back at that 1st Christmas we had together with fond memories. It was one of the best times at Christmas I ever had.
This year go out of your way to give your kids the best Christmas ever. You don't have to shower them with material things. When I opened that pair of socks from my wife, I really felt cared for, & loved. Scrounge around, & borrow a dirty old Chrismas tree from the back of someones garage. Get the kids to help make some home made decorations, & decorate it.
Find something that you have that has a sentimental value, & a story about you attached to it, & give it to your kids.
Your time & your heart is the best gift that you can ever give to your children.
Cook as special a Christmas dinner as you can.
If you must get them a toy or two, then check around with some of the local charities. Every town has a toy drive so that kids of families that can't afford Christmas, can have a present from Santa under the tree.
To add to the giving experience, have your boys pick out a toy or two of their own that are in good condition, & have them donate them to one of those Christmas charities so the giving comes full circle.
Get creative, & get in the giving spirtit, you might go so far as to volunteer some of your time at a shelter, & get the boys to help out if they are old enough. Soon your depression will be lifted, & you will feel rich in spirit.
Merry Christmas.
2006-11-02 00:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is it that you can't even make them each a special card? There is also something called Layaway..... or saving all of your change during the year for Christmas gifts in December...
There IS a way and you CAN do this...
I had 8 mouths to feed and care for on very little wage and still managed to pull off Christmas... It was VERY HARD and I didn't get to get everything for them that I would have loved to, nor did I get to decorate the way I would have loved to but I pulled it off and it was always exciting.
Your children love you and they'd rather see you smiling and happy than sad... they would rather have their smiling Mom than Christmas, so they will "take care of" you....
Don't lay such a heavy burden on them... start saving a small amount from each paycheck... it's a matter of CHOICE...
2006-11-02 00:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by ~Me~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you have been 3 years without an income. Even though you have been without an income and going through some rough times, there are toys for tots and organizations out there that can help you supply a little christmas cheer for your children. Don't be ashamed to ask for it. It is there for the ones that truly need it. Don't let your children be deprived because of the hard times. I myself have had to ask for help in the past, and now I donate to the very organizations that helped me when I needed it!
2006-11-01 23:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have great kids to not want you to worry even if they are disappointed. There are many, many organizations that donate toys, clothes and other presents to low income families during the holidays. Please call the salvation army, or your church, or look up toys for tots on the net. You should be able to find a place where you can get some presents for your kids. That will be a nice surprise for them on christmas morning. You can also look up Operation Christmas Tree, and worldvision.org. Don't feel like you have failed! It sounds like you are a good mom who worries about her kids and loves them. That is not a failure in my book. Money can't buy love!!!
2006-11-01 23:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by luvbabysky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry about that. I cant imagine how you feel. Actually I can, because Ive been there before.
First, your mother is being self centered. I know it bothers you, but it shouldnt. But your boys, they are the ones that really count and trust me, if they didnt understand, they would tell you. Yeah, they may feel a little disappointed, but they do understand.
Please go to your local churches Outreach centers and the like and sign your boys up for donated gifts like the Wishing Tree. People pick a child off the tree in the mall and get them gifts.
Please realize, you give your children the best gift you can possibly give them, your love and caring.
Good luck.
2006-11-01 23:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think about making something for them. You really are only limited by your own imagination. You would be surprised at what things you could make with the items that are around the house. It doesn't take money to make a child happy it just takes love. Your love and the time you spend with them is what they will remember the most for many years to come
2006-11-01 23:34:25 · answer #7 · answered by mr. Bob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it can be tough but christmas is a big part of many kids lifes. If you have an adopt a family around look it up and apply for it. This will give your kids a merry christmas. (adopt a family is something better off people voulenter for and buy the hard off familys with kids preasents and delever on christmas eve so santa will come and give the kids a christmas to remember)
2006-11-01 23:31:55 · answer #8 · answered by Soccer Chik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many programs like the Salvation Army and Christmas wish that make sure each child can have a gift so please check into them they will help with the kids3 years is a long time to be in such a bad situation maybe you need to see about bettering the situation your in
2006-11-02 00:19:41 · answer #9 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try going to your local churches and getting info from S.R.S. There are a lot of programs out there that can help a mom in your situation. I know this because i have been in your shoes. Something else to consider is making your kids something. A couple of years ago i made coupon books with stuff like a free room cleaning and a get out of jail free {not getting grounded when thy had it coming} coupons. Your kids sound like they are pretty understanding. Good luck.
2006-11-01 23:46:37 · answer #10 · answered by cheri s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋