Been with boyfriend for almost 2 yrs. He is 29 and I am his third partner so he's not all that experienced. I've been very patient and understanding but he has difficulty getting an erection & maintaining an erection. If we had intercourse the day before, he has problems getting an erection. He quite often loses firmness very quickly. I think he should talk to his doctor about this but I also think that since he is able to get an erection, the problem is more likely to be psychological rather than a medical problem. Am I right?
2006-11-01 14:44:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
FYI - No I don't believe that I am fat & ugly. Been told I am quite attractive - never had problems picking up men.
I use to be more aggressive about sex and tried to excite him, but it's getting a little tiring since that doesn't seem to be working.
2006-11-01 14:55:45 · update #1
No, it is more likely medical than psychological (although it could be either). The first thing he needs to do is go to his doctor, explain the situation, and have a full physical. Men have problems with erections for a number of reasons physically, including diabetes, circulation issues, weight issues, and several other health issues not faced by women. If he is medically OK then you have to address psychological reasons. . . anything from guilt to lack of desire to a bunch of other issues.
Medically there are treatments that are relatively simple.
Psychological, not as simple.
Good luck.
2006-11-01 14:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he gets it up one day and then not the next, the best suggestion is to schedule sex for alternating days and not worry about it. Heck many couples don't even get it once a week so every second day is definitely an improvement over that.
Though if he is regularly having trouble getting hard and staying hard then it might be any one of a number of causes. It could be stress form work, being overtired, not being in reasonable shape, being distracted by other aspects of his life or even a medical problem. So, get into going swimming and doing other forms of exercise together - like long walks and stuff so you are both stay well toned up. Also make sure you are both getting plenty of good nutritious food and sleeping sufficiently at night. As well, try to find out if he;s stressed out at work or whethe rother factors might be absorbing him more than sex can. If any outside factors are at work, see if you can talk through them with him and ge thim to deal effectively with those things so they no longer interrupt his sex life. and of course keep at the sex but don;t play rough; instead revert to being totally wild horny teens and mix that with the most spontaneous romantic gestures and acts you can dream up. As well, try different positions, try dofferent venues and even go for some sex in a secluded park under a full moon - anything that adds a thrill without adding the cops. No Fear! Just go do it.
2006-11-02 01:25:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be direct, if you boyfriend is able to maintain an erection during masturbation, then the nature of the problem would probably be psychological.
However, the problem maybe just as easily be medical. Go to a doctor, get a check up, and they will be able to advise you of the best course of action.
2006-11-01 14:49:48 · answer #3 · answered by ballistic222000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not as simple as u put it, getting one and maintaining one is not equal.
first u should look at "risk" factors...
work load?
stress?
smoke?
frequent drinking?
even medication, xanex or xanax ( i forget how its spelled), makes the lower head more limp tha gumpy, and others can have a strong (negative) effect
(hate to say this, but it happens) but u need to see if u r doing things right in bed. after 2 years u have done like just bout all there is and things got boring and he is too nice! ! ! (or shy) to ask "the reverse cowgirl position" or the "tripod" (tandra) or or or.
keep things interesting. try new positions, new (sexy or wild, whatever his/ur style is) underwear, or a whip, whatever ur style is, or just anything new.
if something like that works, u know its the upper head, if not, try looking into the above physical symptoms.
hope that gave u some ideas,
gl
nick
2006-11-01 15:01:30 · answer #4 · answered by Nick A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Viagra
2006-11-01 14:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by Chudogg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better to be safe then sorry and it couldn't hurt then at least you will know what up good luck
2006-11-01 14:48:24 · answer #6 · answered by poda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are right that it is psychological. he needs to work on the psych issues or it's not going to get any better for you. maybe (hopefully) if he builds his confidence while dating you he can overcome the problem.
2006-11-01 14:46:51 · answer #7 · answered by ca belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wear black garter belt, stockings and high heels.
Talk about it with him.
2006-11-01 14:46:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
viagra doesn't hurt,,,who cares about blue vision...that's a minor side effect...
2006-11-01 14:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can bet he is doing someone else babe,
as it was said twoballedheads are better then one good luck
2006-11-01 14:47:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋