i am trying to see if he is going to change his ways. he lives with his sister and brother and comes to my house quite often and we started having problems seperated for a minute. now hes coming around again saying hes going to change but at the same time its to soon to tell. he been slepping here for two nights now. i think he wants to make love to me but i wont bcuzi dont want to take a chance and put myself out there to maybe get hurt again. so should i let him stay at my house while we are trying to see where this is going to go. what do you think?
2006-11-01 14:44:08 · 10 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No. Don't let him stay there while you're trying to decide. Most people don't change and almost nobody will change when they are under pressure to do so. If he's going to change, it's because he's going to be standing on his own two feet and not if he's leeching from you. Someone who is invested in your relationship wouldn't abuse your goodwill like that.
2006-11-01 14:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by nixkuroi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am generally in favour of "dump and move on" but ... since he is having problems and needs a place to stay, its different ! !
how would u feel if u lost ur bf and at the same time u were having problems w/ur residence??? too much happening at the same time. u would at least say "let me just crash at ur place while i (even we) sort things out"
now, there are limits. u should let him stay at ur place not stay in u panties. sex is off limits while u2 figure things out (and that is coming from a guy). if u cant do w/out sex (he is that good) then i have to side w/the rest here "dont let him in".
but if u can (not have sex) then ur relationship will get stronger, as a time of need or a crisis is what bonds ppl together real fast.
one last thing, it sounds like u2 get along well enough and he treats u well or at least well enough. thus if he fixes the "separation" issues things r ok? hey, thats easier than trying to find ways to treat u right. give it/him a shot.
2006-11-01 15:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by Nick A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having problems now you will continue to have problems. his staying at your house is not going to change him and neither can you change him. Sounds to me let he may be the possessive type if you can't be separated for a minute. Most women who have been in domestic violence relationship will tell you this is how it starts. He don't need you to see him make a change, if he is going to make one then it can be made without you.
2006-11-01 14:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by Betty B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! NEVER try to work things out by living with a man! He's just trying to get some goodies and meanwhile you'll just end up brokenhearted. You need to be firm and try seeing less of him. Back off and let him get his life together. Don't have sex with him. It will bond you emotionally to him and that is the last thing you need at this point. It sounds like you are getting WAAAY to attatched to this man.
2006-11-01 14:46:23 · answer #4 · answered by leeanndemon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your just opening yourself up for problems if u let him stay at your place.ofcourse he wants to make love, don't they all. set some boundaries with him, remember he can talk all day long about making changes, but what do his actions say. make him proove it before u give yourself away so cheaply to someone u may or may not want to have a relationship with. we as women give ourselves away too cheaply,for all the wrong reasons.we don't get to know the guy better, and than we end up in a relationship we don't really want.
2006-11-01 14:50:12 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way...you shouldnt let him stay there or have sex with him..first find out if he is changing..how come he lives with his family members..why dosent he have a home of his own? does he have a job?...sounds like this guy is looking for a free ride..dont let it be you that gets ridden....get rid of him and find a guy thats got it togather..his own job,house,car, ect.
good luck
2006-11-01 14:48:45 · answer #6 · answered by bluesharpman_642000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound to me like you are playing with fire. You are gonna get burnt. It's not a matter of IF but WHEN. Get rid of him, and move on with your life. Quite wasting your time with this one. ps call me when you dump him, I'll stop by.
2006-11-01 14:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by Speedbuggy43 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u shouldnt let him stay while youre working things out...it can make things worse....let him stay with his sister and brother, and it u decide its not working you dont have to worry about kicking him out....bye and good luck
2006-11-01 14:51:43 · answer #8 · answered by sherryw_1978 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
more time is da best thing for u 2
2006-11-01 14:47:16 · answer #9 · answered by Jolie Vu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. it's too risky. he prolly won't change, he may fake it for a while, but he prolly won't.
2006-11-01 14:46:08 · answer #10 · answered by nameisie90 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋