what is going on here ladies?

Question

if a girl is happy in her new relationship . . would she still be calling her ex that she dumped for this new guy every couple weeks? . . .even though he hasnt answered or sent her something back in 4 months? and she still tries to contact him . . also . . can girls act completely happy on the outside and really be torn up on the inside? is there any way to tell if a girl is feeling like that? . . and if she wanted her ex back why would she still be with me and acting fine? why wouldnt she go back to him? maybe because she dumped him and doesnt know if he will take her back? they did go out for 2 1/2 years so i dunno . .. whats goin on?
and she hasnt told me that shes been calling him . . . and we have been dating since april and have been in an actual relationship for like 2 months . . . how long would she use me as a rebound if thats what i am? wouldnt it be over by now? it been about a month since she called him now since she was calling him. . . so maybe she will stop . . .
then just today she sent an email to him . . . it was this

hey! i just wanted to tell you that i hope you had a good birthday. i was going to call but i figured you wouldnt answer like usual or stop by and give you a card but you would have probably acted like you werent home lol. so i hope you had a good one. it would really mean a lot if you just sent something back lettin me know how ya were doin and stuff...i'de really appreciate it (name)! kayyy bye. . .

so if he hasnt responded to her since june why is she still trying to get ahold of him . . . when he hasnt responded since june?

Additional Details

34 minutes ago
and then she just sent this message to him today


"look i know that you are getting my messages...i really just dont understand why you cant even say hi or something?? can you honestly please just give me a reason, like if it still upsets you or something, i mean thats fine. i just figured you could atleast do that for me...so please?"

Additional Details

21 minutes ago
i should also add that she has been calling/texting him since the begginning of july . . . he tried to get her back for 2 months after she broke up with him. . . they broke up for no reason . .. she just told him she wanted to date around .. . . and she texted him on what would have been there two year anniversary and reminded him of it

Answer 1

Two things are clear here. (1) She still loves or cares for this guy. (2) You don't need to involve yourself with her at this time.

One question I have to ask. If this girl you're seeing says she broke up with her ex. because she wants to date other people and that's her only reason for breaking up, what makes you think she won't do the same to you??

Okay, now let's answer a few of your questions. Yes, a woman can "look" happy on the outside but be torn on the inside. Look at her actions (e-mails, phone calls, etc.) with this guy and not her words to you or how she looks on the outside. 85% of communication is non-verbal. (Refer to no. 1 above).

Her ex. doesn't want her back. Most men move on when they're dumped. We women are too forgiving and take men back. If he hasn't responded its that he wants nothing to do with her. He's angry and most men when they're angry shut women totally out. She's doing this because she knows if he never responds, she has your arms to fall into. Don't give her that right, she wants her cake and eat it to.

Don't let a female use you. You've only been serious 2 months, right? Tell her that you need for her to take time to get over this guy and to call you when she's ready to be serious. If you're ready to try again do so, but I say she has established a pattern of untrustworthiness and they'll be more problems in the future.

Please find someone who isn't into playing games. She doesn't understand the depth of what she's doing to you. You can help her understand but giving her her walking papers. With him out of the picture and then you giving her an ultimatum, she'll come to her senses. Even if she says she's sorry, tell her "you" need time. The more time you give her, the more she'll rethink doing this again.

Relationships aren't easy at all and you have to throw many fish back into the sea, however the big catch is always waiting for you. Learn now to not accept emotional, physical or verbal abuse from anyone. She's playing with your emotions. It's like she's testing you and she's passing and you're failing youself. (Refer to no. 2 above).

Personally, when someone ends another relationship prior to yours, I say 6 months - 1 year is the grieving period. Honestly, when I learned a guy has just gotten out of a relationship, I tell them that we should be friends for a while because they are still emotionally attached to that person and need time to heal their wounds. Another person can't do what time can do best. I've been down this road, believe me it's true no matter what how much that person says they're ready to move on.

Oh, she likes you, it's just that she's not emotionally ready for a new relationship so quickly. You are her emotional rebound so she doesn't feel the pain from him reversing the tables on her. You see she thought he would still pant for her and then she'd have two men wanting her. Men do this to women all the time, but as I've stated most of us are too weak to walk away.

You'd be better off by yourself right now, take up a new hobby, reunite with your buddies, pick up a good book even. You have better things to do with your time.

If you decide to take a break from this drama, keep your reason short and sweet, because she'll try to justify what's she's doing and you're not trying to hear it. It's time to get your grown man on, keep your dignity, self-esteem and walk away from her. Also, if you guys don't get back together then take it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be and if you left things alone as they are today, you'd probably break up over this very factor. Stand your ground. You'll be fine.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

okay question one: just because a girl dumps a guy doesnt mean that they still dont have feelings for them.

question two: yeah a girl can be perfectly fine on the outside and a complete mess on the inside, and its hard to tell when a girl feels this way. the only way to see this is to actually have a deep conversation with her. if she truely feels that she trusts you, she will tell you how she feels.

question three: she is sending him messages because it sounds like to me she is not over him. and she is with you because she does like you, and it sounds as if her ex doesnt want her back.

question four: it is possible that you a rebound, being that she was in a long term relationship, and she may not realize that you a reboud either.

she sounds a lot like me, i went thru this situation... she does have feelings for him, it sounds to me that she would love to have him back, but he has moved on.

i wish you luck, you will need it, because it sounds to me as if she is not with you completely and is still wanting her ex back and it will take time for her to get over him...

Answer 4

You have yourself a girl with some major issues and some growing up to do! But guess what you never realize what you've lost till you've lost it. She figured he would wait around til she finished dating who she wanted to. It has nothing to do with you.......... she just can't stand the fact that he doesn't want her anymore! and she has officially lost him, now she realizes what she has lost. You should casually bring up the subject....... or say something to get her to bring up the subject so that the two of you can talk about it. She probably really needs to get things off of her chest so that she can realize what she is doing. and that way you can decide if she is going to be worth your time, because you don't need her to play games with you. Good Luck and I hope this helps...........

Answer 5

After a 2 and a half year relationship it is hard to let go and move on. You come to rely on a person for certain things whether thats for emotional support or just their friendship.
Its possible that she is feeling guilty too for dumping him (and cheating on him?) and is trying to ease her guilt by checking that he is ok and ok with her.
Maybe you should talk to her about it and tell her that you understand its hard to move on sometimes but she has to let go of this (guilt?) and try to accept the relationship is over, especially if her ex does not reply.
Let her know that you care about her but you need to know where you stand with her.
Good luck.
Ps, some girls can hide their inner feelings but it isn't healthy so try to help her be honest with you and herself.

Answer 6

Dude ditched her, apparently quite unexpectedly and/or abruptly, and she is reeling from it. One guy I was nuts for ditched me so unexpectedly and so completely, I went out of my mind. She may not necessarily need to get back with him, it sounds like she needs closure in a BIG way.

Since there's nothing you can do but stand by and be loving, just stand by and be loving. Stop looking at her text messages and phone calls, etc. Stay out of it. You don't know what's going on so stop borrowing trouble.

Answer 7

DTB, dump that broad. You sound desperate, confused and as messed up as her to not know that she needs to be not dating anyone and try just being herself with herself. SHE HAS ALTERIOR MOTIVES! The grass is always greener on the other side. While she may not pursue anything now, she wants to know that when she does, he'll be there as an option.

Answer 8

she sounds like a selfish and very confused person! I wouldn't put too much faith or effort into your relationship with her. In fact, i would just move on to someone else asap, it's only a matter of time until she dumps you...

Answer 9

Why do you post this same question everyday. If you need to ask my advice is leave her alone. God bless

Answer 10

Too looooooooooooooooooong!