Is cyber sex illegal? Please read details….?

Question

Ok here’s the situation, last night before I went to bed I went to say goodnight to my kids. One is 16 years old and the other is 18 both in high school. I said goodnight to my 16 year old and then moved to my 18 year olds room. I knocked once and opened the door, and my son quickly turned off his monitor and pulled up his pants. I yelled at the top of my lungs “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” He was yelling at me and I was yelling at him, don’t really need to go in detail. After we both claimed down we sat and talked about the situation. Apparently he was chatting with this 18 year old girl online and one thing led to another and they started having cyeber sex. I had no idea what to say, I was shocked. We ended with me leaving the room with nothing to say to him. So I was just wondering if cyber sex was illegal and if my son can get in trouble for doing this type of stuff. Also I want to know how I can prevent this form ever happening again. Thanks

Answer 1

No I don't think that it is illegal as long as both parties are of age. I think that it is amazing that he even told you what he was doing. I think that your son is going to masturbate whether you take away his computer, lock him in his room or ban him from dating! At least he isn't out getting diseases, or getting woman pregnant.

The best thing you can do is talk to him, tell him how much it disgusts you and why. Talk to him about relationships and how false people can be online (how does he know he was talking to a girl). That may persuade him some what to stop.
Also knock and get an answer from you "18" yr old before entering his room. Or at least give him 30 secs. Geez!
Best of luck!

Answer 2

I don't mean to be blunt or offensive but ... your son is 18 - basically an adult. If cyber-sex is the worst thing that he's doing then you've done well! Have you ever participated in say... phone sex? Because its basically the technological equivalent. It's not illegal - and as long as he is aware of the internet pitfalls (people pretending to be things they aren't - don't give out too many details etc) then he is fine. He is experimenting and hey - in this day and age where STD's are running rampant it is pretty safe in that sense wouldn't you agree? He doesn't seem to be hurting anyone nor is he getting hurt and, from my point of view as a 25 y/o its really no big deal ... beyond the fact that you walked in on him in the act. Embarrassing for both parties but not the end of the world. Perhaps in the future you should wait for him to say "come in" after you knock just to avoid such situations. In the meantime let him be! He's an 18 y/o with hormones running riot - he could be involved in alot worse!!!!

Best of luck

Answer 3

Well Here is what I recommend for the 18 year old. For all practical purposes your 18 year old is a legal age adult. He is sexually active in some ways and not in others. Masturbation is the safest sex he can indulge in. When you entered his room and discovered that sex (even with him self) was taking place you should have said excuse me I did not mean to invade your privacy. Then later after he has had time to recoup, get clothed, and have the erection go away say, I am sorry I knocked and really did not mean to barge in but since I did and it was embarrassing I would like to talk to you about your active sex life. Then give him the ole lecture on keeping his pants zipped, guarding his modesty, and keeping away from porn and sex on the computer. As for legality. If he was using a camera and capturing his girl friend naked. If she is under 18 you need to get those images off of the computer in your house. Under 18 is child pornography. Serious offense. I suggest you move the computers out into the family room and out of his bed room. Good luck.

Answer 4

No, cyber sex is not illegal. I can understand your frustration as well as his. I am sure he is completely embarrassed especially with you seeing and knowing what was going on. There is no way to stop this unless you take the computer away or there are filters that you can add to keep him off chat sites or any site provoking nudity or adult themes. I feel that you may of over reacted by screaming like that and bringing all that attention to an already embarrassing situation as is. Don't get me wrong I do understand why you re acted that way.

Answer 5

Well, first things first.....humans are humans as you know, and they do have a natural sexual drive and there's no way to stop that.

Trying to control your son may just cause him to continue doing what he wants to....not just because he wants to but now also, in spite of any threats or punishments given by "the parents".

One thing I really wish my parents would have done was just sit down and talk to me about sex, about drugs, about responsibility....they just expected me to know these things and punished me when I didn't practice them.

You see, nobody needs to be taught to do what is wrong...it comes naturally. The child natrually steals a cookie from the cookie jar to satisfy his own desires even though he knows its wrong. To practice what is right, just, and fair requires teaching....Statistically, hands down, the father is the most influential person in the entire family to do this.

I still, would have done what I wanted to do in the end but now, in retrospect, I know I would have respected my parents much much more if they would have just talked to me like thier son.

Its probably safe to say your son was pretty embarrassed so he had to at least act defensively. Try to talk to him if you haven't....at a time when both you and him are over the situation and after everything has calmed down and when defenses are laid to rest. Talk to him. Show him that you care about him and don't want to see him do things that will hurt him and/or his future. Perhaps back up some of your points with statistics or facts to help him see the dangers that are really out there today and bent against the destruction of our youth of america....obviously we aren't just talking about cyber sex alone but everything else that a good wholesome father/son conversation should include.

If nothing else, your advice given in a caring fatherly manner will instill in him that much more positive morale.

You are obviously a caring father...I think talking to him will do you both some good and at least get rid of some uneasiness.
Good luck.

Answer 6

He is 18 for crying out loud, a young man. It is natural to masturbate and how he gets into it is really not your business. Cyber sex is not illegal for 18 year olds as it is not illegal for real sex for 18 year olds. I would be more cautious of entering his room from now on. He has done well for you not to catch him for the past 8 years.

Answer 7

The important question is, how old was the girl, really? Is she really 18? He can certainly get in trouble if the girl is not 18, but certainly no one on the internet ever lies about their age, right? If I were you I'd try to stay calm about the whole thing and let your son know that if he wants to remain a member of the household he will follow rules - and make your wishes clear with regard to this behavior. Surely you don't want the neighborhood watching the police walking out of your house with all your computers in the process of their investigation in to your sons interactions with an underage girl - whether he thought they were of age or not.

Answer 8

Take the computer from him. But he'll find another way. It is normal for a guy to do things. if she is 18 no law is broken for the talk he does with her. But she can say anything and he won't know the difference until the law comes looking for him. He needs to watch what he says on the chat lines. As far as what he was doing...............no harm, unless he is saying what he is doing to the girl and again, she is under age. Don't believe what she says............this happens all the time and cops are always getting predetors. And they should. You son needs to grow up and watch what he does on line

Answer 9

No it's not illegal, specially if it goes on between 18-year olds, which is consensual.
Internet conversations are protected by privacy laws, at least on the books.

Answer 10

no it is not illegal and sorry to say you cant prevent it except to tak away his computer then that will jsut put up a non trust wall wat he does on his own is his deal dont you think i know you may not want him doing this but isnt this better than him going out and knocking someone up sorry to put it in those terms its normal hes 18 give him some credit just tellhim next time put a sign on the door or soemthing or say hang on b/4 u come in u know...good luck sorry if this sounds harsh message me if you need