I have known for seven years that my mom gave up a baby for adoption when she was 16. She doesnt know that I know. I would like to find out information about my sister, but the only way I can do that is if I ask my mom. I'm having a very hard time bringing it up to her after so long. I feel really uncomfortble and feel llike I'm prying. The other reason is that she told my 17 year old sister about it but not me and I wonder why she didn't tell me???!!!
2006-11-01 12:41:18 · 10 answers · asked by lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am 28. I told my 17 year old sister about it 2 years ago. My mom just told her about a month ago. So why would she not tell me? doesn't any1 think I should feel hurt or anything? That all makes it even harder to talk to her about it.
2006-11-01 15:06:48 · update #1
I also got pregnant at a young age. 18.
2006-11-01 15:08:15 · update #2
and actually it wasn't her decision it was her parents. The talk she had with my sister went fine because she already knew about it and it wasn't a shock or anything. Mom told her if she wanted to have a relationship with 1/2 sister that was up to her. I have always thought me and my mom were alot closer than that. She should know that I would not hold anything like that agianst her or be upset. Whatever......
2006-11-01 15:15:57 · update #3
its probably to protect you. parents think your not old enough to handle the inofrmation. if you really want to know you should just ask. bring up the fact that your sibling knows. its probably painful for her. i got pregnant at 17 and thought about adoption but it was so hard to do i couldnt. she may still fell bad for what happened and doesnt know how to tell you.
2006-11-01 12:44:05 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the 17 yr old needed to be warned about cause and effect of certain practices that she felt you didn't need.(?) Perhaps the 17 yr old's reaction was disastrous and fears a similar reaction from you.(?) Maybe it caused her so much pain and regret she's avoiding reliving it again. (?) There are as many more reasons as there are people. (And none of them include loving you less or anything like that!)
Start a family tree, you will eventually have to ask for more info on someone in the tree, easy to ask for background for some relationships, which open the door for her confidences. It would also help you focus your search for her 1/2 sister when you get to the place to start trying to find her.
2006-11-01 20:55:40 · answer #2 · answered by Diana P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lady: Your mother has confided in your older 17 year old sister because she thinks that your sister can deal with this kind of information. She has kept it away from you because she feels that you are not ready to cope with it. Your poor mom, keeping this secret for all those years stored up in her head ! Can you imagine the hurt, grief and mental turmoil going on in her head all this time ? Your mom simply, made a mistake when she was 16 years of age and obviously regrets it. Be kind to her, hug her and tell her she's the "best mom in the world". A personal word of advice is this. Please learn from your mom's mistake and don't follow suit. Good luck to ya !!!
2006-11-01 20:50:43 · answer #3 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is your mom's personal business - but, as long as you know- and she has told your sister - and you weren't told by your sister not to say anything to your mom about what she told you - i don't see anything wrong in bringing it up to your mom. it's a very touchy subject, i'm sure for your mom - and you have to be very sensitive on how you approach her with it. try to ask the question in a way that you understand that she had a baby at 16, and that you understand she probably did the right thing at time of giving her baby up but you would really like to know more. then ask the questions that are important to you. but, be kind to your mom in your asking of questions, this will really be hard on her and let her know that you love her and that whatever she did at 16 is no reflection on the mom that she is to you and your sister. good luck.
2006-11-01 20:51:39 · answer #4 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She probably told your seventeen your old sister about it in order to make sure that she does not make the same mistake.
You may have known for seven years, but your mom does not know that. Tell her that you found out that you have a sister that you did not know about. If your mom told your younger sister, then she will definitely be ready to tell you.
After the conversation starts you can tell her that you have known for seven years and just did not know how to talk to her about it.
Take care,
Troy
2006-11-01 20:48:03 · answer #5 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know how old you are, but if you are younger than your sister, perhaps your mother doesn't think you're old enough to be told about it. Since you already know about it, just give her some time to tell you. It is probably a painful part of her past. Don't take her not telling you as something personal.
2006-11-01 20:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you really want to know about her then just tell your mom you need to talk and tell her how you founf out, and just ask her about your sister, and maybe you will find out instead of sitting back and not saying anything about it.....Good Luck!
2006-11-01 20:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call Maury Povich
2006-11-01 20:43:47 · answer #8 · answered by 90 civic 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What she did was a tough desision and it was her decision not yours the hard truth is that it was her decision to make and its not your buisness but if you really want to know ask her
2006-11-01 20:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by royalpalaceofhell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would wait til she is ready to talk about it to you
2006-11-01 20:43:47 · answer #10 · answered by Bren 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋