please give me honest answers!!!i am confused!?

Question

My son will be 3 for this coming feb. So far i have not put him in playschool or learning schoo. I am all alone whole week with my son and he see his daddy once a week for one day. My son is going crazy. I know u all say put him in playschool. But since i dont know driving my husband says first learn driving and put him in playschool. But he never even wants to be with his son once a week. on weekends he just sit at home watch t.v or before computer.When will my little one get to spend time with his daddy?
Or i have a an option that i can go back to my country and put him in playschool, to learn driving now it takes time and while i learn driving i have to put him in playschool which is not near to my home there is one which is far and already cold out here.
Please suggest me should i have to go back to my country for my little one's sake?
I get angry that my husband does not participate in his life at all even in these two and a half years of his life.
suggest me i am confused

Answer 1

I COMPLETELY understand your situation - coz u know what ? I am in the same boat :) But yes, my husband is very participative, and at the same time, my son is extremely active. My son is only 16 months, and I am already going crazy - I don't know how u are able to manage a 3 yr old kid. Firstly, give yourself a pat for whatever u have done so far. One needs a lot of self-confidence to get past these stages.

Regarding what u can do :

1. Like the previous person said, start a playgroup. I have done this myself. I do not charge anything and as of now, we have 3-4 friends bringing their kid to my apartment. I always make a snack and tea for the moms n kids. I do this 2 times a week. It is stressful sometimes, having so many people invade your otherwise quiet place and cooking and cleaning up is painful too. But the kids get to see other faces and learn faster, so it definitely is a benefit.

2. For a 3 yr old, I'm not sure what activities could excite them, but look up the net and u'll find good suggestions. Try taking him to an open area. One u cud walk down to, and get him to practice some kicking with a ball or basket ball or something that's suitable for his height.

3. Take him to the mail box and get him to open the mail or drop the mail that's another 15 min. activity on the whole.

4. Put up notes in your own locality and ones close by that you are looking for playmates. Speak to people and once u feel the caller and you have something in common, get them to bring their kids as playmates for your son.

5. Ok, this suggestion might be taking some liberty, but your husband MUST pitch in some more. Its his son's deveopment too afterall. Get him to take you to a toddlers gym when he is in town. Also get him to teach you to drive when he is in town. 2 hrs a day and u'll be good to go in a few weeks.

6. Can u try and get driving lessons - they could cost between $200 - $500 depending on where u live - but its a great investment. I'm doing it and my teacher is awesome.

And then Kiran.,.................there's no stopping you !!

GO on Gal ......................u can do this :) !!!!!

Answer 2

My best suggestion to you would be to tell the "baby's daddy" that he needs to take more responsibility for his child. I would try to talk to him about taking care of his child and taking him more often. Children remember EVERYTHING. As your son grows he will remember who was there for him and who wasn't. I don't think you should leave and go to your country. (Where ever it may be), just because you don't know how to drive and not sure if you should put your son in playschool. There has to be somebody who is willing to give you a ride to the center at least one or two days a week. (Try asking a friend) or (If you have a family member here, maybe you can ask one of them) If not then you should most definately learn to drive.
I have a 3 year old daughter and she goes to day care, although I didn't put her in day care until she was able to talk and tell me what she needed. I just felt that it would be more of a responsibility issue on my end if some thing happend to her while at daycare. She has been going since she was 18 months and loves it! My daughter is also an only child and I felt that it would be best to put her with other children, this way she can see the different cultures, learn to share, and just to have a little "me" time, I know it sounds selfish, but I work full time, attend college, and I am raising my daughter, granite, I have a husband, but there was a time we were separated, but we still shared the responsibility. You don't need a man to take care of you, you need a father for your child and your child needs a father too. Don't make the mistake of leaving and then regreting it later. I think you should just take the time out for you and your son and do what is best. If he don't want to be bothered with you or your son, or how you feel about things, then just let him go....but before you decide to choose another man, make sure your son comes first!!!
Best of luck to you :)

Answer 3

Is your home country stable? Is that where your family is? I would suggest that if it would be better for you and your son, go home. I am sorry your husband isn't involved. However, you can't change him. If you decide to stay with him, you need to learn to drive. For your sake. In the meantime, are there any mommy groups in your area? They usually meet once a week and provide free childcare. You would have the opportunity to socialize with other mothers and your son would be able to play with the other children. I also suggest, that you become more self sufficient. Once you learn to drive, find some employment. Even part time, that will allow to have a stash of money for you and your son, should you ever need it. Best wishes and take care.

Answer 4

Check with your local daycare centers and see which ones have a pick up and delivery service or ask a friend to help you. You could have him go half days for the socialization and interaction with the kids. It's good for them and actually, it's a necessary thing for kids to learn to be around kids and be part of the "herd."

If you are happy in the country you are currently living in, stay in that country. If you really want to go home, go home. If you are unhappy, your son will be too.

If your son's father wants to spend time with him, he will work his schedule around your son's. Consider what is best for both you and your son since he lives with you. (And I would say the same to custodial fathers.) You do what you think is best for you and your son, since the boy's father really isn't in the picture much.

NOTHING IS TOO HARD, you just have to ask for help when you need it. You could learn to drive while he's in day school. I'm sure you have people in your life to help you, just tell them what you told us.

Answer 5

i would not put him in daycare or playschool. i would learn to drive though, you could take him to the park or whatever, at least get out of the house. how does your husband feel about you going back to your country? have you talked to him about that? anyway, only you can answer that question. i would be angry if when my husband was around he did not pay any attention to me or my son also. good luck

Answer 6

Have you talked with your husband about spending time with your son? He needs to know that he is on the verge of losing you. But you definitely need to get out more or you will go crazy. Join a playgroup after learning how to drive. That way you'll meet friends as well as socializing your son for school.

Answer 7

Your husband doesn't deserve you, or that precious little boy. You should start your own little daycare at home. It may take awhile to get things set up, but I'm sure it would be very rewarding for you and your son. Also, you should learn to drive. It's actually very easy, and it will give you so much more freedom, assuming, of course, that your husband buys an extra car for you.

Answer 8

Okay this is a hard one but it really isnt that hard. You should learn to drive for your sake then you can do what you need to do without anyones help. Driving honestly doesnt take that long to learn how to do. There is nothing wrong with your 3 year old being at home either as long as your child gets love and affection from someone even if its only you. Just make sure you are doing activities with your child that even teaches him/her at home. If you are more happy in your country and think you will be able to do more for you and your child then maybe you should but make sure this isnt something you can talk to your childs father about first but you do what makes you happy because if you are happy your child will be happy but if your not your child feeds off your emotions and your child wont be happy as long as there is a happy and healty you and your happy with your life your child will to be happy.

Answer 9

It's terrible that your husband is not involved. Check with your local YMCA, they have mommy/child programs that are great. You can take your son on the bus if you cannot drive. I bet he would love it. I know it's more work for you, but if you can get him to a play group, even, for one or two days a week you'll both be much happier for it.

Answer 10

If you don't have anything to do at home then why don't you consider making your own day care or kindy at your house. 4 or 5 kids wouldn't be too many and then your son would have someone to play with. It would take a while to set up, why don't you post notices in the park, and since you're at home then you don't need to pay to put your son into kindy and you will get paid for looking after other children.