What kind of change(s) have you altered in your perceptual (mind) in order to effect *forgiveness*?
2006-11-01 11:57:27 · 13 answers · asked by Timeless - watcher 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'd like to share an *exercise* which helps me to forgive:
Just imagine "the" person looking in your eyes and opening all his/her ears...
You say to him/her all you have wanted to say to him.
Then, tell him/her what you want him/her to do.
We cannot fight an emotion which is something that does not exists, because we create it. The only way out is to accept it, acknowledge it, not running away from it or repress it.
2006-11-04 12:55:14 · update #1
It's sad to say that I could forgive the adoptive parents after they died. I HAD tried to make amends several years ago but I was still blamed for everything.
2006-11-01 12:02:22 · answer #1 · answered by crystal89431 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing this verse has been helpful:
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15
And realizing that holding onto un- forgiveness and bitterness is not going to do any good:
Hebrews 12:14-15 Pursue peace with all people and holiness without which no one will see the Lord; looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble and by this many become defiled.
It is very hard to forgive when you have been hurt, when your spirit is crushed and your heart broken. Forgiving doesn't mean that you let them hurt you again. Also, I have learned that the one who hurt you often doesn't ever ASK you for forgiveness, but you still need to be willing to forgive to stop from being consumed by bitterness.
I hope this helps. Sorry that you have had heart pain, it is a tough one.
2006-11-01 12:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by redeemed 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To forgive someone is like cancelling a debt. A debt is what is owed to me. So when I forgive, I am actually giving up my rights. I am voluntarily giving up my right to be respected, if I am forgiving someone for lacking respect.
In my case, someone hurt me deeply without really realizing what he had done. A month later I confronted him, he apologized kind of lamely, and I forgave him. I felt better because I had been able to confront him, and I believed I had forgiven him. In reality, however, I had not forgiven him. So the hurt remained. My confidence in myself diminished, I soometimes fantasized about death (no suicidal intentions)
6 years later, During a weekend on inner healing, the leader of the small group I was in asked if we had something we needed to forgive. I said no, I couldn't think of anything, because I try to deal with those things as quickly as possible. However I said I was asking God to show me if there was anything.
At the end of the weekend, during a church service, we were singing hymns, when suddenly I saw the person's face in my mind, and anger surged up in me. I realized that God was answering my prayer. I was still very angry, and needed to forgive. I needed to take his offence to the cross. After a couple of sleepless nights I could say I had truly forgiven.
Since then, 2 years ago, I have had no death fantasies. I feel totally at peace about the person.
I think Bro. John should get thepoints for "Best Answer". He really hit the nail on the head with his definition. If all Christians really understood that, it would be great!
2006-11-01 12:08:34 · answer #3 · answered by Mr Ed 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-12-28 09:53:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to give up any right you think you may have to be mad, hurt or even hold a grudge. You must release that person from all liability in your pain. It can no longer be their fault. When you can do that, then you are on the road to the rest of your life. If you can't, it will be a burden that will weigh you down for a long time, and will turn you into an awful person.
Nothing can make what they did to you right, but releasing them will free you up to live. It takes a while.
2006-11-01 12:05:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Actually it is Jesus who worked through me and changed my stubborn views. He has forgiven so much more then I would ever have to forgive some one else. When I prayed and prayed for Him to show me how to forgive, I finally asked Him to soften my heart. Over a short period of time, He has worked miracles to change my views and see how much He has forgiven. He is the only one who can really help you out. The person had cut me deep, but I finally realized that I had cut God the deepest ever. He forgave me, with His help I am able to forgive all others. God Bless!
2006-11-01 12:02:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to remember that everything that happens in your life is a gift. Even the people who cause you the most pain are there to show you something. Even those who seem to like us the least conspire to help us on our path
The simple truth is every situation that you are confronted with is a valid learning opportunity.
Each opportunity is a stepping stone on your path to enlightenment.
Cherish each one, don't let any of them be waisted. Love the ones who are the most difficult to love. These are our master teachers, our greatest opportunities to show love in the face of fear.
Love and blessings Don
2006-11-01 12:14:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have many relatives who "forgave" my uncle for molesting their daughters and covered up his crimes from the police and the rest of the family.
The result is that he twice tried to forcibly rape my under-aged sister, threatened her into silence about it, and molested several of my other cousins before any of the victims finally went to the police.
People should never be forgiven for crimes they continue to commit. "Forgiving" such a person is really just giving them your blessing to do it again.
2006-11-01 12:05:07 · answer #8 · answered by scifiguy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, my ex-husband..we had alot of problems..and as I "grew-up", I realized if I would have never married him at such a young age, we wouldn't have had ANY problems!!
I had to see what part of the problem was mine...and take responsibility for it..ie. his cheating..okay he was dating someone when we met..he broke up to date me. his abuse..no adult would have stood for it, but a "star-struck" teenager overlooked the possessiveness and mistook it for the he loves me so much concept.
When I looked at my part, I was able to see him for the man he is not the vision I thought he was, and was able to move on and forgive and forget...we do talk now, for the kids sake, and are able to laugh about alot of our past mistakes...before I re-married, he asked me to give it one last try...thankfully I was able to say..hey I love ya, but NO way!
2006-11-01 12:04:09 · answer #9 · answered by kat k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness...yes.
Forgetting...no.
2006-11-01 12:02:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋