Okay this is what happened:
Yesterday i came home after school and my mom told me to make a salad for dinner. i say ok and go to my room! she leaves for work and then my dad comes home and eats dinner with out a salad (because i forgot)!
Today my mom asks me "so did you make a salad?" i say no i forgot! then she starts yelling at me and then she grounds me for three weeks from the phone and my straightener! what i don't understand is why did she get so angry? i made a small mistake and now im grounded for three weeks i think that's a little unfair!
so if anyone out there understands why parents do these things...please help me! cuz i'm ready to explode!
2006-11-01 11:19:31 · 15 answers · asked by MrDancePants 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First, it's not about the salad. It's about the fact that she asked you to do one thing and you ignorred her, went to your room and forgot. She went to work, came home tired and you couldn't do the one thing she asked you to do. Now think back over the past few weeks. How many things have you forgot to do, had to be reminded to do, just didn't do at all and got away with it. How much does she ask you to do? A lot every day, slaving away while she does nothing? Maybe she has stresses that you don't even know about. Maybe she feels your dad needs to eat well and the salad is part of that, she planned his meal and she's not home to be with him, she paid money for the veggies, she's got to be at work. Give her a break and start doing what she asks right then so you don't forget, do things without being asked, take some responsibility for what is going on around the house so she can relax a bit. you'll understand when you are in her shoes, but, for now asking is good. So, that's why I want you to be a good daughter, show her you appreciate her and all she does for you OK? That will make her nicer and not so quick to ground you. Please try to understand a lot goes on that you don't know about, trust me parents don't always let the kids know it all and try to protect them. So, give her the benefit. Thanks. Good daughters are a blessing from God. Don't explode, it will make everything a whole lot worse and you will suffer even more, please do what she asks and try to be helpful without being asked all the time. I promise if you really try and ask her what you can do for her she will be different, she will know that you aren't a selfish brat.
All the things you have they didn't just appear, someone paid for them and someone has to keep a roof over your head and the phone bill has to be paid and the heat has to cost money...on and on so, give her a break and try harder to do right when she asks and when you see things need to be done do them. She may not feel well. Have you asked her how she feels lately? You have one mother, trust me when she's gone, you'll wish to be grounded just one more time.
2006-11-01 11:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't explode. It'll probably pass, but it does sound overboard.
So maybe this is what happened. Was the salad the 10th thing you forgot this month or week? If so, it wasn't just the salad, it was the fact that you didn't pitch in as a family member.
Last week I grossed out on my stepson for not doing the dishes ( the first time I asked in months). It wasn't just because he said he would then went out, it was the umpteenth time he said he'd do something and then just ignored or forgot about it. I don't know if he heard the part about everyone pulling some weight around the house.
So the other reason could be that she's pretty stressed out that she has to work and can't eat dinner with you two.
Just remember:
Worse things have happened and will happen.
Nobody rides for free.
It's a parent's job to turn their kids into independent and self sufficient people. Giving you a responsibility is how they do it.
2006-11-01 12:05:12 · answer #2 · answered by Use another Nickname 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am willing to bet that you dont do stuff often that you are asked to do. The reasons are not totally that you did not make a salad for dad, but probably more like you dont show respect for her requests. Making a salad would only take a few minutes of your time and she relys on you to help out around the house.
My suggestion is to hold your temper and take the grounding with a smile on your face. Chances are she will shorten the sentence, especially if you start pitching in without being asked.
2006-11-01 11:27:17 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know much about adhd has ive never come across a child with this problem. My niece has aspergers autism, she is 21 now and still is very hard work, she has the mentality of a child but is a absolutely fantastic artist, tell her to draw something and shes spot on, shes very clever that way. Since she was little she has liked routine, she hates change and if you tell her what you got planned out for that day (you have to tell her in order) and if you dont stick to what you have said thats when the trouble begins, its terrible and people do look and stare at her because shes diffferent. She also likes to rock back & forth when shes sitting down, bouncing on her bed, when shes out walking she will count her steps and on a certain number she will stop and do a 360 twirl then start counting from the beginning get to that number twirl and so on. She also can be very verbally abusive, saying things which she doesnt understand. My sister does have it hard with her and it isnt easy, far far from it, but she has so much time and patience, buts that not enough for my neice sometimes!
2016-03-28 04:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Us parents have a very stressful job keeping you guys taken care of and out of harms way. The salad thing was just the straw that broke the camel's back. We hold in and hold in, and then like a bomb, "Boom"!!! We trip out over the least little thing. Set her down and talk to her. Its give and take, a two way street.You try a little harder and maybe she will quit yelling so much. Its teamwork! Believe me! I raised 3 of the best/worst kids in America. And things went better when we all pulled in the same direction.
2006-11-01 11:29:56 · answer #5 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well the punishment was a little harsh, but I guess it depends on whether or not you are always forgetting to do things she tells you? Your mom is probably stressed too over work/family/ and all the other stresses of everyday life. Why don't you wait until your mom isn't busy and say "mom, can we talk?" Then just talk to her like you are an adult to and tell her you are having a hard time understanding why she gets angry so easily sometimes. When she speaks to you, actually listen, then reply. Honey, sometimes parents find it easier to take all of their frustrations out on their children because they know their children will always be there simply because they6 can't leave and parents do this without even realizing they are doing it. Why don't you try to talk to your dad too and tell him how you feel. Remember, act like an adult and they will treat you like one. Good Luck
2006-11-01 11:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by wizardburg28 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all do you have a habit of "forgetting" to do what you are asked. Some parents get angry because they give a child a very "simple" task and they do not complete it. Believe me it is just as aggravating for your mom as it is for you. It is called responsibility. My daughter does the same thing. I always end up doing it all myself and it really drives me crazy because it makes me feel that I cannot depend on her to do the simple things what would happen if I needed her for something really big. I cannot turn to her because she would forget. I would feel she would never have my back.
2006-11-01 11:29:14 · answer #7 · answered by vhat40 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
parents are people too, thats the best reason I can think of, accept for the fact that maybe your mom over reacted because of some other stress in her life that doesent have anything to do with you at all, there is also the thing of parents wanting to make their children better than they are, its a parents job to make sure a child is ready to face the world and resposibility is big part of that, maybe your mom just wants to help you to be more responsible than she is. good luck
2006-11-01 13:30:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why don't you just tell her you are sorry, and then the next time she asks you to do something, don't forget to do it. Maybe your mom had a bad day and she was about to explode. Parents explode too. Do something nice for her, and see how it will change her decision, I hope! Anyway that is what I used to do.
2006-11-01 11:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
because we have to remember sooooo much and just want to know that you care enough about us to do even the little thing you are talking about. we see it the same as you " It was just a little thing" my kids do those thinks for me because they see how happy i am that they do things themselfs of do what i asked. try going to your mom and explaining that you understand why she is mad and apoligize and go out of your way to do something you know would make her happy. even id she didn't ask. that is all we need as parents. good luck. and don't be mad at her. she is overwhelmed.
2006-11-01 11:58:11 · answer #10 · answered by openminded 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋