how do you get over someone when you still love them?

Answer 1

Whats the bit that bugs you?

You miss them, the times youo had together, the pictures that remind you, love messages, holidays etc?

What you've done is become DEPENDENT emotionally. Now what you need to do is become INDEPENDENT emotionally. Do all the things mentioned above, hobbies, going out, meeting people etc. You never know you may meet someone sooner rather than later to fill the hole (as it were).

The real trick is: never make it look like you NEED someone to have a good time. Don't be a woos!

The funny thing is this in itself makes you more attractive again to your ex. Indeed to many others too. Don't be surprised if they come back to meet the new you!

Good luck

Answer 2

I don't believe you ever truly get over it when you love somebody that much. But it does get easier to move on. I still find myself thinking of my ex every now and again - and the pain still feels so fresh when it all comes flooding back. I'll never forget what we had because there will always be something to remind me... a song, a film etc. And with this comes the terrible pain when i remember how it ended...

But you just...move on. I'm very happy now with my man and wouldn't change what I've been through because it has made me a stronger person and THIS relationship stronger to. It sucked at the time but I'm a better person and partner because of it. When you meet someone else you will understand.

Keep your head up. You can do this. Just throw yourself into your work or seeing friends and suddenly you'll come to a day when you realise you haven't thought about your ex for a whole hour, then four, then a day, then suddenly it's a week.... and before you know it you're flirting with other people (shock horror!) and then you start to date again.

Good luck. Keep smiling.

Answer 3

There is a great site on line about this.

http://breakups.com/

Was the one I went to.

Take it one day at a time. Keep living. In time things do get better. Trust me on this.

jhs is right, keep busy. Take up new hobbies that NOTHING to do with the ex. I took up Philosophy and Psychology. Something really tough which took a lot of time. And don't call them. It rips you apart not calling and then you do and feel bad if they don't answer or good if they do whilst they are on the phone but it gets worse later.

Love is like a drug and you have to go cold turkey. Taking up hobbies is like switching to a new drug. It helps and in the long run is less painful.

Good luck. Hopefully the responses on here should make you feel better. If you need someone to talk to write another question, go to an on line cafe. If it feels really bad call the Samaritans or go see a therapist. Again I did the latter. Just having someone to talk to about it made feel better and she actually helped me out enormously.

Answer 4

You don't get over them, you find ways to distract your attention and take your mind off it a little.

I got married on the rebound, needless to say it only lasted 3 years.

18 years later, and a second marriage, I can now honestly say I'm over it and given the choice I'd not go back. GIven the chance before I'd have gone back in a shot.

When you love someone for real, and not just lust or a likeness, it's like bereavement but worse because you've got nowhere to mourn. Just nurture the hurt inside until God comes along and gives you a second chance at it with someone else.

It does get easier, time is a healer in many ways

All the best to you

Answer 5

Unfortunately it takes time. I have been there and done that a few times, and all I have learned is that you have to give yourself the time and the opportunity to get over a loved one. But you have to be willing to move on. It's all in your hands, no matter how much it hurts you have to realize that you are not with that person for a reason. Another good thing to do is to cry your eyes out. Listen to that song that reminds u of them, listen to it often, that way eventually when u do hear that song, it will be just Lie any other song. THE KEY IS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! I WISH U THE BEST OF LUCK!!!!!!!!!! BE STRONG-THINK TIME

Answer 6

Oh, God it hurts!
First off, don't talk to them. Give yourself 3 months that you will not call or write, or answer their calls because it just makes it that much harder. Try to find some hobbies, intrests to help you get your mind off your situation. I starting exercising a lot and lifting weights, but what ever works for you. Spend quality time with your friends, and try to meet new people, freinds, dating, co-workers, it dosn;t matter who they are, just try to stay social. Talk about your feeling, be honoset with your feeling and don't bottle it up. Be angry, be sad, be whatever, just don't be apathetic. You can either work it out now and be done with it, or keep it bottled up and drag it out and ruin futhure relationships. Don't rush into big decsions that you might regret later.
Essential, keep busy, becuase it's all a matter of time.
If it helps, lots of people go through this everyday, and with time it gets better, and then you meet someone else, and your like, oh yeah . . . That last person I was with, hmm I wounder what ever happen to them.

Answer 7

If there is no chance of reconciliation then you have to set your mind on something else. I had a similar experience and I got truly stuck into my work and started to revisit my life again remembering what I used to enjoy before I met the person I'd lost. I realised that I had missed out on many things that I never did whilst with her and tried to heal my mind. It takes time but it does get easier. See some friends and have a laugh.

Answer 8

Truth, is , you never get over them. Else, you did not love them in the first place. Reality, is that you move on, and meet other people.( they will never be the same) Accept what comes. Love , is Love. It is unconditional. Never ends. Never asks questions. It is , once in a lifetime. It is , forever. Good luck.

Answer 9

It took me ages to get over my x.........hurt so bad for a long time.....but i focused on what i wanted in life....i went back to collage.....then onto university to do a degree....im in my second year now.....and things are brilliant, i would never have achieved these things if i had stayed with him; although i think its ok to accept that u cant be with someone......but u can choose to love them a life time x

Answer 10

The best way is when they are involved with someone else. No use to pine away for someone if theyre not thinking of you. Peace.