I cant forgive him!!!!!?

Question

Well awhile ago my bf had met this girl and they became good firends, I didnt mind because I have guy friends and I didnt see the big deal. Then after awhile I knew and his whole family new the friendship was turning into something else. I confronted him and I asked him if he liked her, he had said no. Then he told me he was going to go to the movies and I told him I felt uneasy and scared but I couldnt say no because I myself had gone to the mall with a guy friend, but anyways I waited at his house all day and when he came back hours later he told me she kissed him and they held hands. I broke down......to make a long story short things were ruined he chose me over her but I cant get over it....I always think about it and I just cant stop thinking about it. Has anyone else gone through something like this and never forgot? I dont know what to do!!!!

Answer 1

You should have let him go hun. I know it would have hurt, but there's a reason you had those feelings, and you can't get over it. You know why? Because he's likely to do it again. Just because he chose you over her, doesn't mean the issue is resolved. Obviously, your bf has the wandering eye, and maybe the two of you need space in your relationship, so that you can both figure out what you want. If you can't forgive him, then it's going to make both of you miserable. When you forgive, you have to do it unconditionally; otherwise, it really means nothing. Good luck!

Answer 2

Wow.. That is very sad. I experience similar things too and now still am.

It hurts when your love ones did that to you. Extremely hurtful. You know what I did? Nothing. All I did was to cry. When I call him, I will get hurt even deeper. Because during the conversation his bf might call him and such. And then I will feel more hurt.

Honey, the only thing that I can do or you now is to get a rebound. Truth to be said, Im still trying to salvage the relationship. Yeah I know he has a new bf. But at least I tried. I am not going to let my relationship go just like that.

You should have a face to face talk and ask about his future plans. What does he want to do? Be with you? Or her? Be prepared for the worst though.

When I asked him who he wanna choose, he bluntly replied him and he cannot leave him. That sentence alone hurts me. Even as Im typing this, Im crying.

So honey, good luck ok. Be strong. But cry if you have to.

Answer 3

If you can't forgive him there is no sense in torturing yourself or him for that matter. There is nothing that says that because you forgive you must forget...He made a mistake in allowing things to go as far as they did but he came home and was honest immediately...that might account for something. The real question is this: is the inability to forgive/forget greater than the love you have for him? Have you discussed your feelings with him? If so, what was his reaction? I had a similar situation where and I chose to forgive and stay, I have not forgotten and he knows this. It takes a while to keep it from playing in your head all the time but it can get better if that is what you want. But if you don't, nobody can blame you girl...when a man messes with your trust he has to know he is risking it all.
Take good care...
Good Luck.

Answer 4

He has no reason to be holding her hands and kissing her. The fact that he told you is one thing but did he even try to resist? If I were you I'd feel a bit foolish and wonder if any pretty girl he meets is going to be able to have her way with him. You need to set some guidelines or let him go. Either you two are committed to each other or to committed to playing the field. You need to talk. If you get the feeling to go out and get revenge on him by cheating with someone then you need to walk away.

Answer 5

Before you get into a relationship, have this discussion with the guy: Are you the kind of guy who has girl friends aside from your girlfriend? If he says yes, and he doesn't see anything wrong with that...you're going to go through the same thing again.

If you want someone to stay faithful...you have to make sure before you get involved.

Also, they'll bring up this "double-standard" thing with you being able to have boy friends along with having a boyfriend. You should let them know that these are buddies and you're not interested in them romantically.

Get over it by changing the way you preview guys for dating/relationship purposes...screen them like you screen calls.

It's fool proof.

Also, don't act like you are constantly over their shoulder and spying on them...it's a little weird. You might have pushed him away by acting obessed, he might have thought that you were going to forever watch over his shoulder and not trust him...it's really not attractive to a guy.

Answer 6

From the tone of your question, it particularly would not sound such as you're sorry appropriate to the affair in any respect. you're no longer even possessing as much because it. asserting "his strikes compelled me to"... that could be a load of crap. he's no longer "greater advantageous" you everywhere. you desperate to have the affair. You have been the guy who saved up the courting with this different guy somewhat of attempting to artwork on your marriage. Your husband has been cheated on and is injury. You mistreated him first by utilising having the affair and it sort of feels the arguments appropriate to the previous are displaying that injury. that form of component would not only bypass away interior the blink of a watch. some human beings in no way recover from it. think of appropriate to the way you may experience in the experience that your husband were having an affair. could you be rapid to forgive and believe him lower back? You suggested you decide on directly to repair the wedding ceremony because of the fact of your son. Staying jointly purely for the sake of a youngster is in no way a sturdy thought. teenagers are clever and that they comprehend what's happening. i comprehend you assert you do no longer could make your existence depressing, yet you chosen that course once you desperate to have the affair. Now you may enable time and your strikes tutor on your husband you decide on in this marriage. you have a decision to make. sturdy success.

Answer 7

This must have recently happened. Of course you are devastated. Has he done this before? Maybe counseling would be a good idea. If you can't get over it or he doesn't seem to want to work on why he did this, it might be time to call it quits.

Answer 8

Bottom line here is that HE violated your trust. It was not your idea for him to go to the movies with her and you are not responsible for his actions. If you cant get past it then let him know and move on. He should remember that all of this was his fault.

Answer 9

Depends how old you are and how committed you guys are. If youre just dating, I dont think kissing is too much to get over.

Answer 10

he cheated & turns out he didn't like her so he chose u. what a bum... he should have not kept company w/her. that seems as if he had hopes of a good outcome but it did not work out. now u r still waiting 4 him & he will do it again.