I have tried to be patience. I work and pay all the bills. But what makes me mad is when he comes home drunk and raises hell with me. I feel he should humble himself.....So this is what i want to know should i put him out or try to be more patience. He is 55 and we have been together for 8 yrs.
2006-11-01 10:38:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am 43 and everyone is giving great advice. Thanks
2006-11-01 10:50:28 · update #1
Tell him how you feel...that you are supporting his sorry butt and you don't think it's fair. Tell him that if he wants you to be around, he'd better get himself employed and contribute to the "team" rather than being lazy, drunk, and rude!
I'd say ditch him now but, presuming you think he's worth a chance, then follow the above and at least explain his choices to him.
Good Luck and don't let yourself get walked on!
2006-11-01 10:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by FortheFuture 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he even TRIED to look for a job? If not, tell him to get off his @$$ and help you pay some bills, or he's out of there. I feel he should humble himself too at least until he finds a job and helps you out. If he hasn't even been looking, you've been more than patient, and you've been patient for too long. I know the job market's tough especially for a man his age, but if he's not even looking, why should you put up with it? If he IS looking, keep in mind that not many companies will hire a man of an advanced age. The one thing you CANNOT excuse is the drunken berating. Lay down the law. If it was the other way around, with the way he seems to me, you would've been out a long time ago. I don't give ultimatums, and I don't normally advise people do to so, but this sounds like an extreme case. Like I said though, lay down the law. Tell him he needs to straighten up and fly right or he's gone. Let us know what you decide and how it works out. Good luck.
2006-11-01 18:49:19 · answer #2 · answered by viva_bamm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are not many places that will hire a 55 year old,so this could be a long haul for you, as for his coming home drunk and raising hell it is his way to let off steam as I am sure he is frustrated, but it is still no excuse for his behaviour, may be some mental health counselling might be in order, as this has to affect him badly
2006-11-01 18:44:48 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, personally he is 55 and so far he has done nothing I say put him out. I don't want to be mean but if all he does is sit around and get drunk he is going no where and the one thing you don't want is to look back and think where did all the time go? Time goes fast and if you don't watch it will be over before you know it and you will feel...........well incomplete.
need to talk or have comments e-mail me THROUGH yahoo answers.
2006-11-01 18:45:28 · answer #4 · answered by Pisce-Pegasus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The truth is to kick him out..............BUT, I can tell that you love him, since you've dealt with him for a year, and that you don't want to do that to him. SOOO, kick him out.........or that's what he's gonna think is happening. Play a trick on him, get serious and tell him to get out of your house and that he's being a free-loader. Tell him to find a place first and THEN for him to get his stuff the next day. After he's had a good round. Tell him to come back in the house.
It tells him that your ready to kick his bottom out, but also that you still care for him. If that works, he will finally have a reality check and start getting serious for a job.
2006-11-01 19:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by krazy_deviltry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it has been a year he is not looking for work, and if he is coming home drunk where is he getting money to drink with? Sweetie he is using you and you would be mcuh better off without him. You dont say who old you are but regardless nobody deserves to be treated this way.
2006-11-01 18:43:11 · answer #6 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why in the heck do seemingly intelligent women get hooked up with these deadbeats?? The sex cannot be that great damn Quit paying that moocher's bills, tell him to get a job, give him a deadline and if he doesn't follow thru, kick his lazy non working self to the curb, you ain't nobody's sugarmomma.
2006-11-01 18:42:24 · answer #7 · answered by FoxyFoxy, Kickass Drama Queen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is most feeling depressed and stuck in a rut , but thats no excuse for treating u like this, u sound like a good woman,someone he should be grateful to,give him an ultimation.If he wont conform,finish with him or youll start to hate him for what hes doing,and it will start to really get u down,be lucky i hope things work out for you.
2006-11-01 18:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by gonalendusafiva 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate the word ultimatum but in this situation i word use it..either he cuts out the drinking and gets a job or you walk..my boyfriend is going through something similar he cant seem to hold down a job..what i do is try to encourage him,make him BELIEVE just how much you believe in him and his ability to do something amazing with his life,try that it might kick start a new attitude in him. also it seems your boyfriend has lost direction in his life and might need extra support and change from you,sit down and have a real discussion about where he sees himself and ask him if he's happy with his current situation i guarantee he's not,and just make him believe in himself.
2006-11-01 18:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by @ubreY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey you should just put him out. he haven't worked in a year. he's set in his ways. he's gonna rely on you to do everything while he just sits around and does nothing. you don't need a man like that and since y'all been together for so long he's gonna try to use that excuse that all baby we been together to long for it to go down like this. you deserve a man that will treat you right and can be there for you in every way. get rid of him, and go find someone who treats you better.
2006-11-01 18:59:02 · answer #10 · answered by vanillaswril 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋