I never get to be on the computer alone, and thught this would be a good time while they are watching a movie. The thing is he tells me I am being selfish and neglecting our son (which by the way I watch ALL THE TIME while he away out of town working for weeks on end, I never get alone time) He makes me feel like a bad mom for going on the computer, but my kid is with his dad watching a movie, not sitting alone watching a movie...who is right?
2006-11-01 10:13:43 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sure why not? But i dunno why you would stpend it venting that you don't get to get on the computer.
2006-11-01 10:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by kuteguy1977 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need alone time. You son & his dad need alone time. Spending an hour on the computer is not only okay, but good for everyone involved. It goes without saying that you also need family time and "alone time" with your spouse.
My son's dad didn't get it either. I was home with our son and when my boyfriend got home from work he expected me to do most of the childcare and also HE felt like he could monopolize the computer because I was "home all day" and he was working. They just don't get it until they've taken care of the kids exclusively.
Why don't you schedule a couple days out of town? Give the boys some quality time together and when you get back, see if there isn't a little more respect for your needs.
2006-11-01 11:54:38 · answer #2 · answered by eli_star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not doing anything wrong at all. You need some time alone and to yourself and if you are choosing to sit on a computer whilst your son watches a movie with his dad there is certainly NOTHING at all wrong with that. Your partner needs to appreciate what you do as a mother a little more. My goodness there are some women out there that pay babysitters to have a whole day off and go and get themselves pampered for the day. Your son's dad should not be complaining and calling you neglectful for wanting a bit of time on the home PC!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-02 11:53:22 · answer #3 · answered by mountain girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's important that you do spend some time one the computer by yourself..It's always important to have some alone time. I wouldn't go overboard though. I would just stay on while the movie was on and once off then i would log off the computer. Just make sure you dont' make it a habit and ocassionaly watch a video with your son as a family, that is also important. I wouldn't worry to much about his dad thinking you were neglecting your son. As long as you still are spending time with your son your perfectly fine.
2006-11-01 10:18:24 · answer #4 · answered by whitney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are. Since he is gone all the time he needs to have bonding time with your child. He is probably mad at himself for not spending time with his child. I would tell him what I tell my husband. Shut up and watch the movie and enjoy your kid, its just about an hour and a half that I can get to myself and then you can go and do whatever you do. Also I think as other people have stated above that he probably wants your attention. He knows your child gets your attention and he wants the same.
You need down time too. If you dont you can go into a kind of break down. My time is on the comp and reading a book in the bath lol. Good luck
Oh, and also tell him that women are always right. lol
2006-11-01 10:21:25 · answer #5 · answered by fleur_loser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband keeps doing that, maybe he is craving your attention since he doesn't get to see you that often? Maybe try to get online when your son is down for a nap, and cuddle with your husband and son during the movie. I don't think you are wrong for wanting to get online... my husband said the same thing- why don't you come sit and play with us? Well, I think deep down, he wanted my attention as well. So maybe try to limit the time you are online while he is around, and find other times to do it when he's not around... now if he gets on the computer, just nicely point out that you are allowing him some time, and that you'd like some time as well. You deserve time to yourself- which is hard to get when you have children! I know this being a Mom of a 13 month old! Hope this helps some.
2006-11-01 10:19:06 · answer #6 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to some alone time. You're still your own person, not just a mother. For your sanity, you need some time to take care of you or do what you want to do. Your husband is just acting like a jerk. HE doesn't want to take care of the kid himself so that is why he's making you feel bad.
Tell him if you're going to have to be the sole caregiver of the child, you might as well divorce him, let him pay child support, and then you could hire a nanny to help you out. Maybe that will shut him up.
2006-11-01 10:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by PT C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all know that being a parent has a lot of responsibilities that come with the package. responsibilities= stress. stress= needing time for your self. I remember when I was growing up, I had a single mom, and she, being single never got alone time, It was a miserable life for me until she started getting alone time. I encourage you to do whatever you have to do to keep from being a miserable person to live with. It sounds to me like you are doing what needs to be done to keep the family functioning... Go ahead and use the computer when the guys are on the computer. If either of the guys have anything bad to say about it, you could just say you need some time alone to be a nicer person to them later....
2006-11-01 10:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by fem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's okay. Everyone needs a little alone time once in a while. Maybe there is a bigger underlying issue that the father has, like maybe he really misses you & wants to spend time with the both of you together. You should really talk with him & find out what's actually thinking before you both start having unnecessary anger towards each other. You could always wait until your child is napping or in bed for the evening, that's what I do.
2006-11-01 10:29:26 · answer #9 · answered by jamieinreno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is nothing wrong with his father taking over the parenting responsibilities for a while so that you can have some alone time. Just because you love your son doesn't mean that you don't need some time to recharge your batteries.
Maybe his father feels guilty for being out all the time so he is trying to feel better by insinuating that you are taking time selfishly for yourself. Don't let him make you feel this way, let him know that this way he can spend some quality time alone with his son while you get some much needed rest and adult time.
2006-11-01 10:17:11 · answer #10 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You deserve some "awaytime". Dad just doesn't want to take on HIS responsiblity in raising his son. I'm sure your son is fine watching a movie with dad, and your being on the computer isn't going to do any major harm to the child. Tell dad to grow up and stop acting like he is the same age is son is
2006-11-03 21:24:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋