Back story is...I was married for 4 years the last year He raped me alot. I'm abought to get with my BF and I want to be able to satisfye him. How can I do that if every time i think abought it I get flash backs. I don't want my BF to not be Satisfyed. Note: My BF knows I was raped and he don't push me into anything.
2006-11-01 09:43:49 · 17 answers · asked by Dreah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i was raped when i was 12 by my then mothers boyfriend and at 24 i still dont think i have gotten over it i will never ever forget what happened.
but having a bf that cares and understand really helps.
my fiance and i have spoken about what happened to me and he was very supportive of it.
i think if u have someone you can feel comfortable with wether its family or a boyfriend & they can make enjoy life and feel safe then thats most important!
getting over things like this is hard and can take alot of time, try new things, go to new places, do something that you and your partner never done so you wont have bad memories and you can enjoy the things you are doing once again.
try not to worry to much about wether you can or cannot satisfy your new BF, he knows what happened to you and does not want you to feel pushed into anything sounds to me like he is already satisfied other wise he would go somewhere else...
good luck sweety, just remember only you know when you will be ready,& u will have to try to learn to trust other people it's hard but it helps.
2006-11-01 09:54:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dreah, I'm so sorry... weird that a husband would rape his spouse. You should get some counciling...... it takes years for some women.
About the BF, I would not have sex unless I was married. When someone makes that committment with you I think you would lose some of the fear. IMO.
But again, you should hold off on the sex until marriage. Love is not about sex.
Take care sweetie.
2006-11-01 09:48:01 · answer #2 · answered by SunValleyLife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing to do is to talk to a pro. Ask your bf if he can accompany you. Take it slow, don't move into the actual sex right away. Walk into it, don't run. Counseling and some intro intimacy will slowly but surely start pushing out that negative feeling and flashbacks.
2006-11-01 10:22:20 · answer #3 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, that is a touchy subject and since I have never been through that, I cant imagine what that must have been like for you.
Have you talked to a professional about this? Good luck
2006-11-01 09:46:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to a councilor...am sorry to hear the story ..it must have been so hard for you and it is hard to just let go of such a bad experience....
talking it out to both a councilor and your current BF sure would help ya ...
2006-11-01 09:57:26 · answer #5 · answered by sweet cherry78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek professional help. Talk to a licensed therapist before you become sexually active with your current BF.
2006-11-01 09:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by snowflake012882 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him. Tell him you're scared that if you have sex, you'll have flashbacks. He should be understanding. At first, you should worry about not freaking out. More than you should worry about making him happy.
2006-11-01 09:48:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww, really, thats bad but try not to think about it i guess because it was back then, by the way, your ex? what the hell, why. i think something is wrong with him that is why. but i am sorry if this doesnt workout then maybe it shouldnt.
2006-11-01 09:48:09 · answer #8 · answered by sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WAS RAPED TWICE BY 2 DIFFERENT GUYS B4 I GAVE IT UP TO MY BF. I LET HIM KNOAND I DID MY BEST TO SATISFY HIM. I HAD FLASHBACKS TOO BUT WHEN I HAD THEM I IMAGINED HIM COMIN TO MY RESCUE. LOL. IIT WAS SWEET TO ME AND THAT MADE ME LOVE HIM MORE AND HARDER AND I SATISFIED HM WITH IT.
2006-11-01 09:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by Tonisha C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to get some type of counsling.
2006-11-01 09:46:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋