My Girlfriend of over a year just told me we needed a break. I was caught in a small lie that escalated because I was trying to avoid a fight. She told me that she could not trust me anymore and that a break was needed. The thing that hurts the worst is that she is also my best friend. We were friends before we started dating and now not only am I losing a girlfriend but my best friend also. Is there anyway to salvage this relationship? What can I do to show her I am trustworthy and regain the trust that she has lost. I do love this girl very much and need advice on how to handle this. We have been speaking but the conversations are not long and usually suck in general. Do I act like nothing is bothering me or do I keep trying to talk it out with her? How long is a good break? A week, two , a month? I have not had to deal with this kind of problem and any info would be appreciated.
2006-11-01 09:15:22 · 15 answers · asked by Mike L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give her some space and play it cool. Just tell her you understand and you value not only your relationship w/her but her freindship. Tell her you are going to give her a bit of space, but you will be there in under a heartbeat if she should need you for anything. Be gentle with her and leave small reminders and trinkets for her, but don't stalk her or shout your love to the world for her. She needs to work this through on her own. If you guys get to talk seriously, tell her you're sorry, and tell her that you learned something from this, and that losing her is not worth you lying about anything, not even if it might make her mad. Stick to it.
Balls in her court now, bud, Good luck.
Edit: no real "time" limit on the break. it's different for everyone. You, however, need to be patient. Patience is maturity and stability, qualities women like in men.
2006-11-01 09:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by MisterO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally when a girl wants a "break" they forget the other half of the term..."up". If both people consider the relationship to be a serious one, you don't take breaks. You work these things through. In all honesty, you should have come clean with the lie when you were caught because going through a fight makes your communcation and relationship stronger. A girl doesn't know how long a "break" could be when she asks for one. She just says it to get away from you for a period of time because she's upset. You can either wait it out until she's ready to talk or really think if the relationship is worth staying in.
2006-11-01 09:20:18 · answer #2 · answered by CC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience the best you can do is just stay away from her, give her the space she needs and just hope she comes back to you. I don't know what the lie was, but if you have trouble being truthful with each other now then that's not a good sign. The only thing you can hope for is that she comes back to you of her own volition because chasing after her isn't going to help in the slightest and may worsen the situation. Be brave and just get on with something else and just make the most of the time by using it to understand how disappointed she must be feeling. If you do see her again, tell her your sorry, you realise how you must have hurt her and you've learned from it...and mean it.
2006-11-01 09:20:48 · answer #3 · answered by slıɐuǝoʇ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sincere apology is a start. Let her know that you will still be there for her, but right now she needs a little space to work things out in her head. Don't push too hard, but don't disappear either. Whatever you do don't tell her any more lies - and if you really want her back, don't go asking someone else out or letting one of your "friends" fix you up. That will be the end for sure. This may take some time but you might win her back.
2006-11-01 09:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by hoosiergal0946 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the small lie you are talking about concerns another girl, then yes her trust in you is shot and you need to give her some space to think things over. Just be there for her whenever she needs you. If small lie concern something-else, don't worry, she'll come around, just give her some space.
Sorry and good luck.
2006-11-01 09:19:38 · answer #5 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up with her. She is already interested in someone else. Come on!!! What she said is the oldest line in the book! Let's say you are eating a delicious sandwhich. Do you say - hey this sandwich is so good, but I need a break from it! No way. Or, you are on vacation and having a hell of a time. Do you say - well I know I have seven more days left - but I need a break from this vaca! No way. Move on and act like it don't bother you. She'll come crawling - she doesn't want to be around a whiner - she wants to be around a happy go lucky guy. When she comes back use her for the dirty!!! P.S. cheat on her too.
2006-11-01 09:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Who can ever relatively say with any sure bet? May spouse remains with me through consent. It is her alternative .... regardless that goodness is aware of why she does. Still, I am blissful she does. After being in combination for over forty years and married for over 30 years, I reckon our courting will mostly final but it surely might be a mistake for any individual to anticipate everlasting perfection. Relationships require paintings and versatility. They difference. Stability is not more than photograph and no warranty of the longer term.
2016-09-01 05:40:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact her after a couple of weeks to see how she is doing.
a break is a break. that means both of you are free to see other people.. keep in mind that may be what she has wanted to do for a while and just used this as an excuse to do so.
If you don't want to date others.. fine... but give her some space for a couple of weeks. If you crowd her.. she will write you off forever!
2006-11-01 09:18:42 · answer #8 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time. You violated her trust and now she needs to evaluate the relationship because she may feel that you don't value it as much as she does. She will come to you when she is ready.
2006-11-01 09:18:02 · answer #9 · answered by Wookie on Water 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
alright just give it time. theres no right time to give but only until you both feel comfortable talking and being more open. just continue to do what you do and the time will come, when its right
2006-11-01 09:19:09 · answer #10 · answered by jete413 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋