Is anyone married to someone who is bi-polar?

Question

My spouse does not take his meds the way he is supposed to. I have threatend him, naged etc. I dont understand why they dont. Any advice.

Answer 1

Well I'm bipolar. I know in my head that I depend on my meds for stability, even though the side effects suck sometimes. But once I've been well for a while, I start to doubt that I was ever really ill. If I was never ill, I don't need meds, do I?

So there's a huge temptation to stop. And add to that the fact that the hypomanias are wild and exciting (the manias are almost always forgotten because the world seems so strange then). And there is comfort and familiarity even in the depressions (look up the lyrics to 'Lithium' by Evanescence).

So I know why he stops taking them, but I'm afraid I don't know how to make him keep taking them. The only suggestion I can make is to seek out more advice from http://www.crazyboards.org - there are a number of spouses of bipolars there who maay be able to offer advice.

Answer 2

Unfortunately it's pretty common for people with bipolar disorder to go off their meds, I mean it's almost text book. The reason for this as far as I know is because while the "low" moods can feel pretty bad the "high" moods can feel wonderful, euphoric even, and the person doesn't want to lose that experience. Furthmore, they can regard how they feel during these high moods as being part of who they are, a piece of their personality, an especially GOOD part of their personality cos they feel on the top of their game until the mood swings the other way and then people are very happy to back on their meds. I dated a girl for almost a year who is bipolar, she stopped taking medicine altogether, but I eventually got her into another doctor's office. Sorry I don't have any advice on what you can do to get him to listen to you. Good luck.

Answer 3

People stop taking their meds because the side effects are getting to them or they are feeling well because of the meds and think they don't need them anymore or they miss the highs of the manias. They might just need a medication adjustment because they don't feel well and just stop taking them instead of dealing with a new treatment plan.
One of the biggest challenges of this disease is dealing with the medications. If I didn't have a loving husband, I don't know what I'd do. The disease is terrible and the medications are worse.

Answer 4

Bipolar disorder is a hard thing to live with, but it's also hard on the person with the illness. I suspect your husband doesn't want to take his medication because of the incredible powerful feelings he experiences on his 'highs.'
I would speak with a doctor or a member of the clergy. You could also find out about seeing if there's a support group for people married to those who have the disorder.

Answer 5

my husband is bi-polar and isn't on medication either.

I can't force him to go to the doc, nor can I force him to take meds. i do, however, encourage him to exercise - which helps GREATLY with his episodes. So - we go to the gym together, and play competitive sports together. it helps.

if you need to talk to him about meds - the only advice I can give you is that nothing is going to get through to him if he is in the middle of a mania or a depressive state. You have to find those lucid moments when he is rational and level and talk to him. If he's as disorganized as my guy - talk to him about it when he is level - and if he agrees to take meds or see the doc, make the appointment for him, take him yourself. Put his meds where he will see them every day. nagging does no good... it doens't work. You need to make it easy for him.

Answer 6

Tough decision to stay or leave someone who is Bi-polar. I must commend you for trying to work through the hard times (I'm sure it's not easy, especially if you have children).

A good support group may help you and you can share and gain advice.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Having worked on a psychiatric unit in the past, I have discovered that these people don't want to have help or help themself. Someone needs to sit him down (Doctor) and tell him how serious it can be and how it is affecting his family and what could happen to him if he doesn't take his meds.

I'm sure he is hurting inside and just doesn't know how to cope. Patience is the best help but I know it is hard. Pray for him.

Answer 8

don't crush it and put it in his food, if he finds out he would never forgive you. When he is well, try talking to him about why he doesn't take his meds. Don't try talking to him about his meds while he is ill - you will probably agitate him. With any action you do take tell him that you're doing it and why. Anything done behind his back could make him more Ill.

Answer 9

THAT IS THE DISEASE DOING THIS TO HIM. CHECK OUT MY LAST QUESTION ABOUT MY MOM. SHE IS DOING THIS RIGHT NOW TO AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DO KNOW THAT NAGGING AND THREATS WONT DO ANYTHING TO HELP.. IT JUST PUSHES THEM FURTHER INTO THIER DEPRESSION. PLEASE JUST GET HIM TO A DR FOR HELP. DONT PUSH HIM TO TAKE THE MEDS. HE WONT UNTIL HE IS READY TO DEAL WITH HIS FEELINGS. IF YOU WANT TO EMAIL ME PLEASE DO B/C I NEED HELP DEALING WITH MY MOM RIGHT NOW TOO!!

THANKS FOR WANTING WHATS BEST FOR UR HUSBAND BUT GO EASY ON HIM AND BE THERE TO LOVE AND SUPPORT HIM NO MATTER IF HE TAKES HIS MEDS OR NOT. THE DISEASE IS THE CULPRIT NOT YOUR HUSBAND.

Answer 10

It hard to compromise with someone with a mental illness....