mental illness in significant other's family?

Question

a member of SO's family suffered mental breakdowns, and was hospitalized after an unsuccessful suicide attempt. liver transplant and many therapies later, the member is back home with the family.

i was in shock when i heard the news from my SO. from my past experiences with SO's parents, i felt that family environment was largely to blame for the breakdown.

i come from a different set of values than those followed by SO's parents; my SO shares none of the values/perspectives held by them.

here's the problem: the SO has asked me to initiate contact with the family member who attempted suicide, to encourage and to be a friend. i want to encourage and be a friend, but i'm also very nervous about what to say. after all, the family member was institutionalized for months post transplant.
Now, my SO says that my perspective (nervous about the situation) is not acceptable and has declared that she will be leaving unless i take action.

what to do? thanx for advice.

Answer 1

You have probably met & befriended several people who had a mental illness but, because you didn't know they had a mental illness, you probably had no problem socializing or being a friend. Because you know this person has a mental illness, you are focusing on that and it is causing your discomfort.

The thing to remember is that, just like any other illness, it is not something that a person chooses to have. No one is responsible for the feelings they have - we are only responsible for the way we behave in response to those feelings. Hopefully this person's therapy at the hospital has given him or her help in coping with the illness and doing a better job of dealing with life. I would hope that you could give this person the benefit of the doubt and treat him or her just as you would anyone who is recovering from an illness. Don't focus on the issue that it is a "mental" illness. Just meet this person on the same basis you would meet any one else. If your SO is truly "significant" to you, you should do all that you can to help the SO and family maintain a loving & supportive relationship with this family member.

Answer 2

When a person has had a breakdown there is no need to worry about what to say. Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to ask how they're getting on now. A breakdown is an awful thing to go through but the person still remains that same person.


Treat it as you would any other serious illness.

I've been there.

Breakdowns can require a long time in hospital but don't worry she won't be the 'lunatic' you may be afraid she'll be.

Treat her as any other person. You'll be fine.

I promise you have nothing to fear.

Answer 3

Mental illness is not from upbringing. In this case it sounds like chronic depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance of the brain. Just like someone with anemia has insufficient red blood cells and someone with cancer has altered growth hormones, Depression is caused by insufficient seratonin. (There are other chemicals that be be out of balance, too)
Antidepressants can replce the seratonin, or help the seratonin enter the brain cells, and therapy helps alter the thought processes so the brain will find it's own balance.
Hope this helps you to accept things easier.

Answer 4

Man this is out of regular range to solve. You are so human being to do and forward to help. Everything what we first time do, make as exited and nerves. Like first kiss or first job. Is so stupid to disqualify you because of trying the best of you to help others.
You must fight back to get this right and get the job.
Don't get angry, relax and don't give up - communication, you know is the key. Tell them if they stop you you do it on your risk is nothing what can stop you. Let them give you the chance.

Answer 5

just act like it never happened whoever it was probably just wants to forget about it anyway just hangout do some stuff that they like to do