hello, up until now my parents have been working fine together. my father is a very paranoid person and is an ex-alcoholic. He was in a rehab center for a month and managed to beat alcohol. Now, 15 years later he's relapsing... badly. Everyday he gets off he manages to get himself completely plastered. He is also cheating on my mother. I know this because he would have secret 'business' meetings in which he left for a day or two to meet this woman. Also my grandmother (my fathers mother) just recently passed away and this led to even more excessive drinking. I was brought up and shown that alcohol is horrible. This is what this man has said to me, and as of right now he has totally contradicted himself. I just wanted to know what i could possibly do to make him quit this 'disease'. I would like to get a reply as quickly as possible because i want my family to be back to the way it was.
2006-11-01 08:57:20 · 12 answers · asked by lookup613 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I don't really think that there is a cure. I am sorry but he's just gonna have to do this on his own. It's his decision to if he wants to drink or not.
Good luck
2006-11-01 09:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you are going through this. And your father was right...alcohol IS horrible...look what it's doing to him again.
You can call 9-1-1 when he gets plastered and have him taken to the hospital. After he's detoxed, he should go back to rehab. Now, if he refuses....there is nothing you can do. You and your mother would have to leave him.
There is no cure for alcoholism. He will always be an alcoholic. He can either be an active one or one in recovery. And it's a progressive disease....even if he hasn't been drinking in 15 years--when he started up again, it got really bad really fast, didn't it?
2006-11-01 17:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
An alcoholic will not give up alcohol unless he is ready to. But you can sit him down and let him know how you feel. Do this in a sober moment because talking to a person in a drunken state will not help him or you.
Let him know how much it affects you and what you want your family to be ...as it was before the drinking.
Ask him to return to this rehab center. If this doesn't work perhaps an intervention with the whole family should be done.
Also there are Al-Anon meetings you can attend to help you deal with these things. These are meetings for family members who have to deal with alcoholics/addicts. I think you need to attend them because these issues can be emotionally draining especially when you are watching your father destroying himself.
2006-11-01 17:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by Happy2bAlive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear you are going through this. I actually work as a substance abuse counselor at a VA hospital. The other answers I've read are very good. He does have to decide to this on his own. In the meantime it might help you and your family to get help of your own regarding dealing with him. It would not hurt for you to tell him that you had more respect for him when he was sober, and that you hope he works at that again. The good news is that if he was able to stay sober for 15 years before, he knows what works for him as far as his recovery goes. Maybe you can get him talking about what he did 15 years ago to change his life around, and this may trigger something in him. I wish you luck, alcoholism is not an easy thing to have in your family.
2006-11-01 17:17:14 · answer #4 · answered by freecounselingrocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing that you can do for you and your family is for you to go to Al-a-Non or Ala-Teen. Your father has a disease. This is a disease he will never be cured of. Recovery is an ongoing process and sometimes there are very bad relapses. You can express how you feel to your father but please don't feel bad if it does no good. When he is sick and tired enough is when he will seek help again. Take care of you first. Good luck.
2006-11-01 17:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholism is a desease that can be treated but not ucred. The first step is for the alcoholic to realize they have a problem and make the decision to solve it. Until that happens you can't do anything.
One thing you might think about though. Often drinking is a sign of some underlying problem, like depression. Perhaps he is depressed? From what you say, it might be the case. Could you talk to your family doctor about it? Or to your mom?
2006-11-01 17:08:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very sad to hear that your dad is back on the bottle after 15 years of sobriety. There is really nothing that you can do to get him to stop until he has once again hit rock bottom. My best advice for you would be to attend al-anon, a self help group for family members and friends of people with alcohol problems. They are there to help you and hopefully you can learn how to live with an alcoholic without making excuses or cleaning up for him. They are there for you and as such have been were you are at presently and help one and other with suggestions on how to cope and deal with how the alcoholic is affecting your life. My fiance has just joined this program as I have been sober myself for a number of years. Best of luck to you and your family.
2006-11-01 17:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you havent already--you need to bring to his attention-that you see what is gong on and that you are hurt and disappointed by his actions. If you have already said something and he is non responsive....then it will be very difficult to get through to him--alcoholics are very hard to deal with. They marinate themselves in it to the point that they are rarely in touch with reality---I am sorry for your troubles and wish I had more to offer ... usually they have to have some sort of huge wake -up call-in which they themselves see that they are only making things worse by continuing to drink. I will say a little prayer for ya' and hope that things work out.
2006-11-01 17:05:46 · answer #8 · answered by calebjohnsmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no cure for alcoholism. Even if one stays sober, they fight the disease everyday of their life. Once an addict, always an addict. The descison to get and stays sober is up to your father only. Noone can do it but him. As far as things you can do, one is to check out your local Al-Anon. This is like an AA for the addicts family. Best of luck to you and I will keep you in my prayers.
2006-11-01 17:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by parrothead2371 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very tough thing for you to be going through, and there's no easy answer. Obviously your Dad has some serious issues to deal with, and is not coping very well.
Unfortunateely, only he can do this. He needs to get help, but he has to WANT that help first.
The site below may help YOU deal with what's happening. Don't try to take responsibility for your Dad's drinking or recovery - you just can't. It's up to him.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
2006-11-01 17:06:09 · answer #10 · answered by belmyst 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋