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i lost my dad only a year ago (my grandma's son!) we were absolutly devastated. i have not recovered from the trauma yet, my grandmother is 86 and she raised me with my father. i love her to death. she is stubborn sometimes and hard to deal with but just thinking of her dying, is killing me! that feeling i had when i got to my fathers hospitol room 2 minuets after he passed away i fell to the ground, screaming and crying histericaly. i am getting more and more dpressed because my only parent left is leaving me soon- how in the world do you prepare yourself or get rid of all the guilt of things that i have done that i cant take back. i dont know how to deal with this pain of the loss of my father and soon my g-ma. she did get to meet her 4 great-grandboys. my father only met 3 of his grandboys and my last baby i named after him as he was concieved after his death. i just need some words of inspiration...thank you so much!!!

2006-11-01 08:33:19 · 6 answers · asked by A Proud Marine's Daughter 3 in Family & Relationships Family

6 answers

you need to know that what you do with your grandma now is what is important don't sit and wait for her to die make the time she has with you now the best time, you remember that she will always be there in your heat and you there inside of hers. Only you can tell grandma how you fill about her and how thank full you are and were she has been here for you. tell her these things now don't wait till she is gone and have regrets ,hug her every day love her every day.Grandmas are wonderfull people and you are lucky to still have her

2006-11-01 08:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 1 0

Oh dear you really are having a rough time. The loss of someone close is so devastating. I too got to the hospital just after my father died and it has been the worst pain of my life.

But if the pain hadn't been so bad then it would have meant we didn't have much of a relationship.

Thinking about the loss of your gran so soon after your dad is very trying.

Make sure you tell her all the things you want to. I don't know if she's conscious or not or how bad she is now, but even terribly unwell people can still hear.

Treasure the time you have with her now and know that your gran and your dad will be together watching over you.

You will always have them in your heart and mind and death cannot take that away.

Think of all the goodness they gave you so that you were able to stand on your own two feet and raise a family.

Recount the good times to your friends and your own family.

Remember we all do and say things we feel bad about,that is part of human nature. Also those things had their place at the time they were said. I'm sure your dad and gran would have had some regrets too.

Your father and your gran live on in you and in your children.

I wish you well.

2006-11-01 10:01:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I no your pain i have lost all my family except my kids and now i have my grand-kids living with me and the very best thing to no you can deal with this and enjoy your grandmother while you have her tell her every thing you want to say and one thing i wish i did was sit and ask my grandparents and parent's is about there life and write it down all of it pass it on when you lose some one it would be great to have a part of there life in a note book this way you can take it and read it and remember and share there love and life with your kids it helps keep them part of your daily life I'm doing that for my kids i think they will enjoy it and be shocked by alot too Grandma did what lol Enjoy you time and love each other

2006-11-01 09:40:10 · answer #3 · answered by helen l 2 · 0 0

i'm so sorry to take heed to approximately your Mum. it incredibly is an quite no longer common time for you and your loved ones. i've got been by way of it and that i know how terrible it incredibly is. the 1st element which you are able to understand is that what you experience now could be amazingly commonplace - it incredibly is particularly uncomplicated to have thoughts of remorseful approximately or guilt while somebody dies. all of us think of "what if ...." or "if in basic terms i might....". it incredibly is in basic terms human nature to experience like that. in case you experience it incredibly is all starting to be too a lot too handle then circulate and communicate to a counsellor - it is going to help. meanwhile, in basic terms attempt to take each and on a daily basis because it comes. i do no longer think of which you rather ever completely recover from dropping somebody which you like, in spite of the indisputable fact that it does get much less complicated to stay with in time. the reality which you probably did no longer tell your Mum which you enjoyed her incredibly is unimportant - she knew which you enjoyed her and which you nevertheless love her.it incredibly is the substantial bit. And the terrific tribute you are able to ever pay her is to make her pleased with you. Be a sturdy individual. you do no longer ought to have a severe-flying job or develop right into a millionaire, in basic terms be a sturdy individual in honour of your Mum. sturdy good fortune, take it slowly. each and every from time to time its a step forward then a step returned, yet you will get there interior the tip.

2016-10-21 02:41:48 · answer #4 · answered by hosford 4 · 0 0

since you haven't lost her yet... don't dwell on her passing. try to make every moment with her as special as you can. let her know how much she has impacted your life and thank her for all of the wonderful sacrifices she has made for you. thank her for making you the kind and obviously loving person that you are. this won't make the hurt stop..but it will help with the regret of not telling her how important she was to you. i lost my father at a young age and i was devastated. but thanks to some awesome advice from his oncologist i was able to say goodbye with the assurance that i knew he knew how much i loved him and how much i would miss him. celebrate every day you have with her. they are gifts. enjoy them, don't spend this precious time dreading her coming death.

2006-11-01 08:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 0 0

, You don't cope. You survive, you need to be strong for her and for you, remember the good times, try to do things you guys used to do, for me and my great grama(who raised me from birth and died at twelve), well for us it was bingo. So we saved up green stamps and went to bingo one last time. when you see her don't think of the end, think of new beginnings, I'm sure she wants you to have happy thoughts. Time is limited, not our memories, so go out with a bang.

2006-11-01 08:41:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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