Why do women today have children and then dump them in day care almost immediately?

Question

Why have children if you have no time to spend with them even when they are babies? I have seen women have 2 children a year apart and then they dump them in daycare all day. These were no women that had to work either as they had husbands that made good money. Certainly they could tone down their lifestyles so that the wife could stay home a little and at least take care of the children until they got in school It seems children are more like trophies than children anymore.

I never dumped my child in daycare. She is perfectly fine and upon entering school she was better behaved than those agressive day care kids. She has a very high grade average and is in advanced placement classes. Funny since I didn't teach her anything that she managed to learn when she started kindergarten and is at the same level as the daycare kids. And why would staying at home with your kids be torture?

Answer 1

Well I have worked in many daycares and have children of my own. I would feel sorry for the children that were dropped off at 6:30 am and picked up at 6:00pm. They would spend more than 40 hours a week in childcare. In my opinion, I see this as neglect. Most of these women would show up in a fancy vehicle, fake nails, fancy wardrobes etc. These are the mothers that I found to be selfish and shouldn't have children. I noticed the effects on their children also. Some were clingy, insecure and agressive. Most all of them had some sort of issue. I feel fortunate to stay at home with my kids. I would never want someone else to raise them. I have worked in 5 daycares and have seen horrible stuff happen that would mortify any parent. These daycares were considered high quality. I do think that if you are a single mom, then you don't really have a choice and you have to work but 40 hours a week for a child is way too much.

Answer 2

We managed to stay home with our son for the first 14 months (I was home for 7, his dad home for the next 7) after that we didn't have a choice. We never "dumped" our child in daycare.

There are extreme examples of stay-at-home wives who still put their kids in full-time daycare and/or have nannies, but the majority of us just want to have a happy healthy family and this is the only way we can do it.

Don't lump all working moms into one category.

Answer 3

good question!! I worked in day cares and there are some sad things that go on behind closed doors, especially during non-parent times (9am till 11am is a safe no-parent time!) 'Teachers' who never worked before in a day care before stuck into a room by herself. A lady just out of high school now responsible for toddlers for a couple of hours with little training (or support). Moms that couldn't stand being home all day with there kids. moms going shopping, or a girls day out. Day care kids learn to be more aggressive, simply because the strongest & loudest survive (get attention). I worked at a center that claimed certified degreed teachers with a learning program. The 'teachers' had 3 health training classes that made them 'certified' teachers, and they had degrees in everything but childcare. And as for the lessons, they just followed what a lesson guide said. Sang a couple of songs, no discovery, no exploration, just cut-n-paste and read a story. Then playtime. Wow, Do you really think that helps prepare them for school??? Get real.

Answer 4

I stayed home with my daughter for 5 months. Then I had to go back to work. Not only did I have to go back I wanted to. It was important for me to stay with my new born baby to bond, but after some time I felt the need to get away. Get out and do something else. Being a stay at home mom is not for everyone. For some women it's bliss, but for others it's pure torture. Not that they don't love their children. Of course they love their children. Besides Daycare is just like school now days. It's just about required if you want them to get into a good private school. In daycare the child learns social skills. They learn a curriculum. Children in daycare know their alphabet, numbers, how to write their names, and phone numbers by the age of 2 and 3. Unlike many stay at home children. (not all but many) These days your child can not even get into kindergarten if they don't know those things. I'm not saying that a stay at home mom is not capable of teaching the child those things, but many don't realize how important it is. Daycare can be the best choice a mother can make now days.

Answer 5

This subject is not black and white. I am a stay at home mom and was raised by a stay at home mom. In my opinion it is the only way to go, but I have a husband who makes enough to support us although I babysit to make grocery money. Some moms can't do it. I think the point is that every mom who truly wants the best for their child should WANT to stay home full time for their children's sake. If you can't, you can't, but do you want to? That's the question.
Although I'm sure daycare has benefits, kids should be sent a few hours a week to socialize not 10 hours a day every day. Like I said many mothers do not have the option and I hope one day circumstances will change for you and you can. I am blessed.

Answer 6

Some parents dont "dump" their kids in daycare. Some mothers would love the luxury of staying home with their children. I HAD to work as many others before and after me. My children turned out well adjusted, students, citizens, boy friends, etc. I spent lots of time with them; during cub scouts, sports events, marching/concert band, youth in government, etc. I was always there for my boys - even though I had to work. I was more active in their lives than many "stay at home mom's". Yes, they went to day care, and they learned to share, be patient, and follow others rules at early ages. Both of my boys love children, are patient, and kind individuals. I'm proud of their accomplishments - just like stay at home mom's are. It's unfortunate that in the year 2006 there are still people who ask questions like yours. I have an open mind - I have many friends that stayed home, and many more who worked for whatever reason. The reasons don't matter - open yourself to other possibilities besides the choices you were fortunate enough to have.

My youngest son said it so well during his senior year of high school. He said "I never really had much of a dad".....and you know....I never needed one - my mom was all I ever needed in my life".

We weren't on welfare; though I know some who have been and are terrific mothers.

I feel sorry for you.

Answer 7

I would love to know that as well, i work in a nursery at a daycare, and i have one child who has at least one parent home everyday and they bring him first thing and pick him up last. They left him yesterday to go hunting!!!
It makes me so angry!
The only thing i can figure is that they dont want to get abortions but they dont want to take care of the baby either. Or that they only want them when they are old enough to say 'i wub u mommy' real cute like that and to be able to say yeah i have a baby and show off pictures. Also, they probably think they are too much trouble to deal with while they go out and do what they please.
The funny thing is, is that some of these children prefer me to their mommies!!

Answer 8

First off, I have had to go back to work with both my kids and they are neither one aggresive daycare kids. It all depends on the environment that they stay in.

I don't have anything against stay at home moms, as there are times that I wish that I could do the same. However, my husband does not bring home enough to support us without my income. I stayed at home for the first 9 months after my daughter was born, and we charged up thousands of dollars on our credit card to pay for the things that his paycheck didn't cover, like propane to heat our house, a plumbing leak, a car repair, and even groceries a couple of months. We were not on welfare, and we just couldn't make ends meet anymore, so I went back to work. I have my daughter in a private daycare right now, because I personally don't like public daycares due to a bad experience with my son, and I know this lady loves her and takes good care of her. I don't work because we want to live a luxerious lifestyle. We have a 850 sq. ft. house, I drive a used mini-van, we don't have 4 wheelers, don't take vacations, and we don't all where name brand clothes. I work to pay normal everyday bills and to have money for birthdays and Christmas's.

I think every situation is different, and no mother should be critisized for working or for staying at home. You can't judge a person till you walk a mile in their shoes.

Answer 9

I stayed at home with my children until my youngest was nearly 1 1/2. I don't dump them in a daycare. They go to grandma's because I HAVE to work. Maybe these women are doing the smart thing. At least they won't have to end up on welfare if their husbands leave them.

Answer 10

It depends on what countries you are referring to. In 1st world countries, both men an women face equal hardships. men may face losing their children after divorce and are often put down by society without society realizing they are doing it. On the other hand, women in 1st world countries still face issues like rape, low salary, troubles having children while working, no maternity leave, and even discrimination in the workplace. Though, women do have benefits that men don't. In third world countries or anything in between, there is no question who has it worse.