Any Dads out there or anyone with a Dad that can help me?

Question

Over the weekend my Dad & I had a fight. We exchanged words, cried, & apologized. I still feel weird about the situation because I rarely see my Dad cry & I have the image of his sad face in my mind sometimes. Whenver he's around now, I feel kinda strange..a little nervous, like I'm walking on eggshells & he seems to be extra nice to me. Maybe it's all a figment of my imagination?

The start of our argument came about because I told him I was feeling sad & lacking self-confidence because I have no job, no money & I needed to let it out. I wish I didn't because he's not a very good communicator. He's more of a laid back kind of man, very rational, not emotional, with a sarcastic sense of humor.

I know he loves me & I love him, but I can't help but feel strange around him at this time. I feel like I have to be happy/smiley around him otherwise he'll think something is wrong with me. I don't want to bring it up again with him, but how do I get rid of these feelings I have?

Answer 1

The strangeness you feel is a little guilt for the fight and feeling like you made him cry. But you both talked and apologized to each other. It's all good, Dad's have big hearts, and they're tough to break. I think it's great he cried, he obviously felt what you're going through. If a Dad can't be a shoulder to lean on who can be? Be yourself, give him a hug and tell him you appreciate that he listened. The talks with him will get easier from now on. You broke some ice. You both cleared some air and that's good it may open things up further between the two of you.

Answer 2

There's only two ways you can go with this.

You can try and establish a deeper relationship and EXPLAIN to your dad how you feel. If you both get things out in the open, it may be rough at first, but eventually nobody will have to feel like they have to walk on eggshells. Quite the contrary, you may develop such a good relationship that you can be completely natural and talk about anything.

Or you can develop a fake relationship where you pretend to be something you're not whenever you're near each other. This is probably a lot easier to do in the short term and less scary, but it means that at least one of you will be a stranger to the other and any contact will be stressful.

So really it's up to you. Endure the pressure, dive deep and maybe find some pearls, or bob superficially on the surface and get blown around to wherever the winds take you.

Answer 3

Um be yourself. All he can do is love you! He sounds like a Scorpio. If this is so you do not have to pretend your feelings just be who you are. He will do what he can for you and do not expect a non communicator to get out the feelings he needs to. get hug from him and feel his love and support. FEELING is something that has been lost in the communication era and needs to be explored again. He feels your pain make sure to try and feel his love. Remember there are 5 different kinds of love so I do not mean in the passonate way but in the father Daughter way. Good luck

Answer 4

Having a daughter myself, I think I understand where you both are coming from.

As much as you don't want to, you are going to have to bring the situation up for discussion again; it sounds like there were some things left unresolved. Try not to be emotional. Easy to say, tough to do, I know. Make sure that EVERYTHING is discussed; totally clear the air. Then move on. Be yourself at all times around your dad and remember, we just want our little girls to be happy -- that's all

I wish you both well. Good luck.

Answer 5

You have both gone though an emotional trauma together 'Normalising' will occur, but it will take time! Your dad has shown you that he really cares about you. The fact that he cried tells me that you must have brought home to him his 'hurt' for your predicament and he feels responsible for it! Give him a 'hug' now and again to show your love for him! And everything will gradually fade into a nice 'memory of the event for you. You do realise that you have just 'bonded' with your dad, don't you? You have a really nice day! And don't worry, it will all turn out for the good!

Answer 6

Perhaps you might be more comfortable writing to your dad at first stating your feelings as you did in your question here. Then in the letter tell him that you would like work things out and to tell him that sometimes you just need him to listen and not try to help or make suggestions or remarks.

Dad of an 18 yr old and 8 year old.

Answer 7

You and your dad made up. Let that part go. Go back to fixing the problems that are making you feel so sad and loosing confidence. If you take care of those things the things with your dad will work out. Go to a job counselor and figure out what you want to do with your life.

Answer 8

Your dad is trying to give you what you need. Extra love and attention. Is that so bad? I suggest you enjoy it for now, because he will become closed off to you again, it's just who he is. You've opened a door here. Don't close it in his face. Try giving him a hug and saying "thank you" for helping you through the other night. Perhaps that will give an ending to the situation, and you can just go on as it was.

Answer 9

I still have memory's of my daughter and I have words. It does hurt and a lot. Not sure how to make this disappear. Don't think it will ever leave you. (Unless you have a brain removed.lol!). Just talk to your dad and let him know how you would like him to be more understanding of you feeling. After my daughter has told me this more that once I've been able to be a little less sarcastic with her. And do my best to listen with intent ears.

Answer 10

He loves you. Try to act natural around him, he probably feels weird too. Its good that a man can cry, why should he have to hold his emotions in, we have emotions for a reason. Its like giving a child candy or toys so that he won't cry, you are teaching the child that its not good to show your emotions. I am glad you have a good relationship with your dad, a lot of us don't.